Why haven't I been asked out yet?

[Anonymous]

i liked this one guy that I thought liked me so I guess I tried to flirt or my version of flirting and I messaged him and tried to show interest and it seemed to be going well but when I messaged him to ask him out, he totally ignored the message. people say I'm pretty all the time and I'm not disgusting looking so what is it. Why haven't I been asked out yet

ok so I'm only 16 and I thought that I'd have plenty of time to grow up adn date and do all of that normal teen stuff, but I'm realizing that every teen girl around me from my friends to my enemies have one thing in common. They've all been on dates had/have boyfriends. and I've never been asked out once. I thought it was normal and it will just come in its own time but that's bull crap. what if I'm too much of a social retard to get a boyfriend, or at least hang out with guys I like. I have no clue and its driving me insane.

[Anonymous]

Your first thought about being normal is the right one. Nothing is sexier than self-confidence, and the easiest way to create confidence is to fake being so. You will quickly build confidence as your reactions and thoughts become much more reassuring.

I am—to parallel you—apparently attractive as well, and I was also somewhat jealous of other couples in high school. But, I had a lot of friends and I enjoyed just hanging out with a group most all time, and I still do, lol. My first relationship lasted six years—it ended last summer due to being 1000 miles apart , and not anger or resentment though it did end emotionally as would be expected after six years. We talk a lot now, anyway we can, and for hours; we are—truly downgraded— to ‘best friends’ for now. The thing is: I was 19 when we started dating; I was in college, but we both had a love at first sight moment and everything ‘clicked’ perfectly. This isn't to say I didn't fool around in high school, but... it's all a lot more fun in college, lol. I don't believe in having to be older to do any of that, but for me it has to feel important, not fleeting.

Yet, I was attractive and popular and all those thing that—in high school—we think are ‘important’, but I turned down advances from others because I wanted what I got, a relationship that will last a lifetime in some form. He could simply want the same...

I still have four friends I am close to that I went to high school with. I have countless closer that attended college with me. I know in high school you hate hearing this, and I hated it more than most, heh. Bur high school does not matter. You will have far more experiences, loves, memories, and lifelong friendships in college. I do not regret waiting one bit. You shouldn't either.

Don't feel that you have to find the right guy in a limited amount of time because others appear to like they have—the stress of that alone would make the task impossible. Just know that, given time, the perfect guy will find you, and it will be quite obvious, very quickly, that he wants you as much as you want him.

As for him: a possibility is that one mentioned above. Perhaps he is waiting for someone falls in love with immediately. Okay, it isn't the norm but I did it, and others do too.

Or it cold be: most guys like to be the one that asks and being asked can feel emasculated, which would make him feel slightly threatened or resentful of you—weird and outdated: yes. Still true: yes. I always liked being asked out by girls; I had friends that hated it. To each his own.

3: how aggressive have you been with the flirting and texting? (Probably too much.) Guys like the pursuit: make yourself unavailable, too busy or not interested. Guys will notice and some will find it damn sexy.

4: he could be gay—which is fine too. If you thought he liked you maybe he needs a friend and a boyfriend too.

I know the ‘?’s 11 months old, and my answer too long, but I felt like writing. I hope you're happy now.

Be well,

V

[Asker]

Thanks for the insight, everyanswer helps =)

[rocksongwriter]

"pple say I'm pretty all the time and I'm not discusting looking so what is it. Why haven't I been asked out yet"

Could be 8 billion different things...

--Maybe you're not as pretty as you think you are.

--Maybe you're too pretty & guys get intimidated.

--Maybe your mean / stuck up

--Maybe you're dumb

--Maybe you're really smart & guys get intimidated.

--Maybe you smell like sulfur.

--Maybe you talk too much & guys can't get a word in edgewise.

--Maybe you're too quiet.

--Maybe you talk about politics too much.

--Maybe you're crazy/psycho.

--Maybe there's too many bad rumors being spread around about you.

--Maybe you dress weird.

Find out what your weaknesses are...then:

“Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.”

-Knute Rockne

[Asker]

Lol your a weirdo, but thanks.

[rocksongwriter]

:*(

[Anonymous]

The reason you have not been asked out yet is because the time is not right for you, you have not met the right person and you are putting to much pressure on it.

Please stop worrying there is nothing wrong with you and someone will come along when you least expect it and stop trying to put pressure on meeting someone. Dating is fun and a game, it is about learning and having fun/meeting people. When you put pressure on meeting someone it does not work and it takes the fun out of dating.

You are still very very young and should not be worrying about dating or guys at your age, you have plenty of time for that in the future. I did not date until I was 19 and I'm fine. You need to concentrate on school and having fun with your friends. Keep your self busy, have fun and enjoy being young free and single and when you least expect it someone will come along.

There is nothing wrong with you so please stop worrying.