Why don't I ever get asked out?

Question

I am not asking this question to sound conceded at all, but I really don't understand why I never get asked out on dates or anything.

Lots of people tell me how gorgeous I am and that I'm funny and all that stuff, but I never get asked out!

The only guys that really hit on me are my guy friends but I don't even count that because they're all goofs.

I don't know what to do because when I go to bars no one really approaches me unless I'm on the dance floor then I get guys grinding on me but that's about it.

I'm really shy at first so I can't really approach the guys myself but I always see guys going up to other girls and everything so why not me?

archer86 · Accepted Answer

Here is a touchy topic that nobody talks about: sexual harassment. It takes very little for a man to get into some serious trouble, normally for something so trivial and insignificant yet devastating in results. All a man has to do is drop his eyes from your head to your legs and back...and BAM! He loses his job, his education, his reputation and just about everything else. What is worse is that YOU don't even have to do anything, it's another woman standing nearby who can call wolf by watching a man propose to you.

Smart men are playing it safe these days just to protect themselves. I personally do not feel safe around American women for the simple fact that I have no idea how they will act around me until the venomous snake of harassment has bitten. A man wants to make absolutely sure he can ask a particular woman out without endangering himself. Just how it is. The other men are either ignorant of the potential dangers or just don't care.

This is not your fault, as this has gone on for over twenty years. Even though there are lots of fools who have done bad to women, there are an equal to greater amount of good men who have been victimized by bad women for the wrong reasons.

That's my guess on it. Dating is not the same as it was ten years ago

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

The guys with confidence who are your age mostly just want sex with no strings attached. And chances are, these are the guys you want (or think you want). But you want different things than they do, and to get together with them, either you have to get them to change (HA! Not likely.) or you'll have to.

The guys who want relationships tend to be the shy, the geeky, the less-confident guys, but they are intimidated by hot girls, assuming they have no shot, so they'll almost never approach you, unless you give them some BIG hints that you are interested in them/attracted to them. And you probably AREN'T attracted to them, at least, not like you are attracted to the confident, popular, good-looking guys, so you aren't likely to be giving out any "come talk to me" vibes to the guys who want relationships.

So, you either need to change what you want, or who you want it with, or accept that it's going to be a LONG time before the guys you like are interested in relationships (late 20s-early 30s).

Brooke03 · Accepted Answer

Same problem here. My bestie and I have a theory but it's just us being stupid. We say that we are so hot guys assume we are already taken, so they don't bother talking to us :P it's really silly but it might be true. Maybe the same applies to you.

sweettangel · Accepted Answer

i am the sameway girly! I wish I knew  it's like I can't even get a male fly to look at me

l-hedoniste · Answer

How friendly are you acting? We respond to encouragement. Guys, especially young guys, get shot down *a lot*, and the girls aren't necessarily nice about it either. It's hurtful to work up the nerve to go to a girl you find attractive, only to get shot down, or worse, shot down rudely. So guys look for a way to weed out the women who will be mean to them, or waste their time.

That's what flirting is all about. It's a way to tell the boys, "Go ahead, you can talk to me. I don't bite." (Not a bad line, by the way.) It reassures the guy that even if he doesn't succeed with her, at least the odds are she'll be graceful and let him down easy, which is all we really ask.

Anonymous · Answer

because men are intimidated by attractive women, such as yourself, plus you define yourself as shy, that means people will not approach you, and you will not approach them, thus you don't get asked out.

people tell me I'm attractive as well, but I am shy, that's why I understand your concern so thoroughly.

I'll tell you what, I'll ask you out...will you like to go out with me?

NerdInDenial · Answer

Maybe you have to give guys more signs. Look them in the eyes and smile. It's always different on the dance floor. I don't ask any girls out on the dance floor because I treat it as just fun and games.

Cantremember · Answer

So why don't you ever ask anyone out? Maybe guys are shy too (just like you)

GodzillaMan · Answer

I don't know. The only thing you told us is that people think you're gorgeous and guys don't ask you out... That's not much to go on.

holly916 · Answer

you ever ask somebody out... I'm going to assume no otherwise you would know the answer to your question... nerves

Why don't I ever get asked out?

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