Why can't you accept the problem is YOU?

[Twalli]

YOU can't find a decent girl/guy. YOU can't get good relationships. The problem can't really be other people, because they can. YOU have to be the problem. Yes, not all the problems with a failed relationship are on you, the other person takes some blame. Yet if all relationships YOU enter into fail soon, the problem is YOU (you might be a great catch, but you choose shitty people, that's on you 100%). If YOU can never get a relationship, YOU are contributing to that.
For not getting a relationship, I can speak from expierence for the last one. People liked me, at least 2 of the 4 I liked and didn't ask out. One still does (the other one might, but we haven't talked since 2012), but she's dating someone else as am I, so there's mutliple reasons why nothing happens with us. Now I could have asked them out, but I didn't, although the one I still talk to was avabliable until after I wasn't. I didn't because I was shy. So the reason why I didn't get dates until I was 27 was mostly due to my shyness. The reason I couldn't get dates was ME. I recgonized that, and I rectified it. I got a girlfriend. Problem solved, the problem was ME, and now it's not a problem anymore.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats flawed logic.
You are assuming not only the squandering of opportunity (as well as opportunity even being present), but also the possibility of self change resulting in a match.

In almost every situation, when a person changes themselves to find a match, and they find one, that person isn't a real match, its a match for this new fake version of yourself that eventually will crumble when you go back to being yourself.

Ultimately, the problem CAN'T be you, because what everyone needs is another them, and people don't change, not for good anyway, not unless they hate who they are.
Your entire point falls apart for anyone who loves the kind of person they are and how they live, and wants similar in an SO. And for them your advice is toxic.

The problem is actually how society as a whole structures adult interaction.

For many adult people, there just aren't known or practical ways to meet the likeminded, and telling these people to change will only result in relationship disaster and broken homes.

[Twalli]

I am not saying change to attract someone. I am saying change to be a better person or make better decisions. That, in turn, will make your relationships better. I changed to become less shy which is why I asked someone out. That wasn't to get a particular person, because at that time I didn't know who I would ask out.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That I agree with, but what is better for one is often worse for another.

[backdoorman]

https://tenor.com/view/the-wolf-of-wall-street-clap-clapping-clapping-hands-leonardo-dicaprio-gif-22829304

[DizzyDesii]

Of course people can take accountability that they played a part but its not ALL on either party in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

[Twalli]

Per individaul relationships, true. Yet if a pattern emerges where it seems they end for similar reasons every time and they don't last long, it is you or your choices.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont think one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. I’d continue to see it as individual or coincidence. I’d still give someone a chance if they had a bad past

[Twalli]

Of course, the problem may have been them, but as I said, a person can fix their own problems and therefore aren't a problem anymore.

[malwins]

Lol absolutely not do u really believe u have 100 percent control over things

[Twalli]

No, but if I am the problem I have 100% control over fixing it.

[IHateBeingaMan]

well men no doubt have always been expected to take or accept responsibility for their lives more than women do

[NathanDavis]

I'm the worst...

[Twalli]

No you aren't. Again, since the problem is YOU, YOU can fix it.

[LazerBean]

Lol you're going to make a lot of people mad.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Because I am the solution, ZEMO

[Fuentes]

I accept the issue is me