Why would recent ex not want me to disappear or lose contact without letting him know first?

[Anonymous]

It wasn’t nice to break up but it wasn’t on bad terms, we remained friendly. He said he needs to sort himself out but I just don’t think he was that into it despite doing all of the usual things couples do - meeting family & friends etc.

[mermaidcancermoon]

Being friends with exes is not a gold star for humanity. They dont have to remain in your life. I have never mixed lovers with friends. There is no ill will toward any previous lovers but I dont see the necessity in giving them a front row seat to my marriage and children. He sounds possessive honestly. Like he doesn't quite want you to move on just in case he doesn't find someone else. This is pretty common

[Asker]

Of course it’s not. But there’s no shame in it either. For those that it’s genuine for its a lovely thing.

[loveslongnails]

It's a weak attempt to say "I still care even though I'm fucked up". What it really means is "I want to know you're still around if I need a back door."

[Asker]

A back door…meaning…can’t find anyone better or?

[loveslongnails]

Exactly. It means don't disappear completely and find someone new in case I decide to make a play for you again.

[Guy13]

He wants time to lie to you and convince you that he cares after leaving you hanging all this time.

[Asker]

But why?

[Guy13]

ask him.

[Asker]

Pointless. Unlikely to get an honest answer.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, but he sounds like a control freak.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s a real control freak, some insecurity issues yeah but nothing extreme.

[boggboss]

Because its a mature way to end things

[Asker]

I guess. But leaving on friendly terms is also okay I think.

[boggboss]

Ofc it is