Why did my ex contact me then completely disappear/ignore me?

I was with my ex for 3-4 months until he ended it a week after my birthday saying that "he couldn't see us being in a long-term relationship together". Even though I said to keep in contact, I realized that it wasn't a good idea and deleted his number, removed him from facebook, etc. All of the sudden on Christmas eve, a month after the break-up he sent me a facebook message wishing me a merry Christmas. I didn't know what to do at first, but I replied to it and asked him a simple question about his work. He didn't respond back to me and ended up "disappearing" off the map. What could this possibly mean? Is he having second thoughts, does he miss me? Sometimes I do miss him and sometimes wish that we were together again. Should I take this as a positive sign and sit around and wait to take action, or pass it off and move on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a similar situation so unfortunately, from my experience, he ended up dissappearing forever :( We dated for 3 months, he gave me the same line as to why we needed to break up even though we both said we were falling in love. I deleted him from my life and then he wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I sent him a text a few weeks later about my new job since I thought he wanted to stay friendly and haven't heard from him in 2 months. Sorry for my story but it seems very similar, and that's what has happened to me. I don't understand why guys do this, and I haven't moved on as much as I try. All I know is that if a guy doesn't come knocking down your door to be with you, or at least be into you enough to reply to your message, then he's not interested, trying someone else out for a bit, and doesn't deserve you. I always think what could be when things end nicely, but we can't wait forever. I say try to forget about him as much as it hurts. A little while down the line he might come back, but I wouldn't wish for it. I'm only speaking from my own experience so I hope you get some perspective. If you get sad thinking about him, try to remember that he's probably not thinking of you (since most guys will contact those they're thinking of) and get mad at him for this and move on.

    • Aww you poor thing :( I know I was starting to move on and forget about him until he sent the message then it threw me off completely leaving me with mixed thoughts. I still don't understand why he did it and what his motive was, it was probably just to be nice (or his family said something as I did meet them and spent time with them). I guess the best thing for both of us is to count our losses and move on...

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What Guys Said 1

  • WOW what is up with people? my ex same thing... The thing I'm realizing is that both men and women are too weak to let the other person go. All of us hear when we break up is that it's them they need time to grow or space ,it's all BS.

    When anyone of us hear that than MOVE ON...

    I just woke up now. my ex broke it off a week and a half ago. Yes I love her and want her back . BUT do we really need some jerk telling US to kick rocks and we wait like a hungry puppy for them to throw us a bone... Sorry but you don't deserve that, I don't, nor does

    A N Y B O D Y !

    I know your pain sweetie we must move on and make our heart available to who deserves IT !


What Girls Said 4

  • He prob did miss you and still cares but is OK if he didn't reply back because prob he still confused to be honest That's what I think you never know what goes in an ex mind they could miss you but also just be thinking about you at tht moment :/ I'm sorry I wish you good luck :) just be positive xoxo

    • No kidding, I think he honestly doesn't know what he wants in life right now. But still if someone asks you a question you can at least give them an answer instead of ignoring them because that is quite rude especially since he was the one who opened up the "can of worms". But what can you do...

  • I think at the time he sent that message wishing you a merry Christmas he was feeling guilty about leaving you alone for the holidays and wanted to let you know that he cares and is not a complete ass. It doesn't mean he wants to get back together with you. I would say it was a possibility if he had responded to your reply but otherwise no. I am so sorry about your break-up and I have been there just hold and try to heal rathar then chase after someone who isn't worth it!

    • Sorry to hear that :( My mom said the same thing about trying to show me that he's not a complete jerk. If he doesn't do something like this again, it'll make it a lot easier to move on.

    • yeah I've been there before! Things can only go up from down.

  • Nah he broke up with you and told you his feelings before breaking up. Though it is strange he didn't say anything back in reply, maybe he was just checking on you and making sure you were alright. I wouldn't wait around at all, find someone better :)

    • I think I'll just do that =)

  • First of all, how is your situation now?

    I'm going through a similar sitch with my ex. I've been trying for a year now to completely get over him. I've dated, gone out with friends, etc, but he's always on my mind. I last hung out with him 3 mos ago, and ran into him almost 2 mos ago. So trying to shake him hasn't been easy, obviously.

    My thing is that I've always initiated contact. I went NC for a month, then missed him so much I broke it. He never responded. I waited 3 weeks, then contacted him again. He replied 5 min later with a pic of his hike and a text. He sounded excited about his climb and wanted to share, I was assuming. It had nothing to do with what I text him, so I don't know if he was avoiding it or what, but it was pretty random. Needless to say, this totally confused me. He hasn't responded to anything I've sent since. Who does that? Is he playing with my head? I want so much to hate him, because it'll be easier to move on. But I can't. =(

    • Well it's been over 8 months now and his birthday passed not too long ago so I think he's gone for good. Trust me, I'm with someone new and he's a hell of a lot better than my ex. I found when you find someone better you find the flauts and can sit back and say "what was I thinking?". I know its hard but be strong!

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