How shall I proceed?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what to do?

I've been seeing a guy since March and things felt like they were going well. However, despite us having a great connection, getting on like we've known each other years, able to be ourselves etc etc, this guy keeps saying 'he doesn't want to get too connected', yet continues to plan things with me, including my birthday. He wants to go to London together, we even plan future events. I feel constantly confused by this. One moment he says he wants to go with the flow an see what happens, the next he says 'let's not get too connected'.
We've spoke about where things are going, as I'm due to do my training and this was also a bit of an issue for him, I made it clear that I want stability and clarity. He said let's just see where it takes us, and if I move away then he'll make it work. Again, I don't feel reassured. He doesn't class me as his girlfriend but we are exclusive. We spend most weekends together, and other evenings. We do have a sexual relationship also, however I do not believe this is all he is interested in as its not often

Am I just being dragged along into thinking we have a future?

[Stevefiveo]

He seems very confused. I'm think you are going to have to ask him why he doesn't want to get too connected. Maybe you can work it out. You are going to have to tell him that you actually want to be that connected. You've been exclusive with him since March. You are taking this relationship seriously and so does he if he wants things to continue. You might be scared that you are going to scare him away but it has been a long enough time for him to make a decision. You are just getting your answer now which I scarry. Good luck.

[Guy13]

It sounds like the only option is to let it play itself out. Unless, you’re instinct is so strong against this working⁉️

[Asker]

Mmm I would like to do that. But he is 39 and I'm 28. He keeps talking about when I'll get onto my training (this Yr or next). I kinda feel there is pressure to know where we go with our future. I feel like his mum wants him to have a partner an child as she keeps mentioning she wants a grandchild. It doesn't help that he says things like 'I'm not making progress in my life' and talks about his exs every other time we meet. He also talks about how he hasn't went travelling since 2020 since his ex an that he thinks I don't like travelling. He makes a lot of assumptions and I don't know if he is comfortable seeing where things go tbh despite him saying it. Moaning every other day about this an that is not reassuring me

[Guy13]

Yeah, he’s not a very reassuring guy and seems to be carrying some bitterness. One is pretty settled at 38ish. Hope this plays out as you wish.