Is this a normal step?

Question

So the lady I've been taking this slowly with has decided to give me a little bit of clarity. Her exact words were 'currently I refer to you as my best friend, but I'm not friend zoning you with that term'

I'm abit unsure if this is a normal step in the buildup of a relationship, she is very guarded and slow to trust. This sentence just made me feel a bit shaken

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

So, seeing someone as a friend in the early stages of a relationship is fine. No one really wants to jump the gun and call each other lovers just yet. But I don't like that she explains it as "currently I refer to you as my best friend..." as if she can decide any time she wants to to suddenly consider you differently. Like tomorrow or a month from now she'll want to call you her boyfriend. And then trying to follow it up with "but I'm not friend zoning you with that term."

If she is a person who is very guarded and slow to trust, that probably means she had some guys in her past take advantage of her or do her wrong, which is understandable for her to be guarded. However, I would not feel too great about her "currently" referring to you as her best friend. She's obviously trying to map the potential of a relationship between you two and take things slow, but I think it would help for her to not simply see you as her best friend.

Truthatanycost · Accepted Answer

Do you think a woman would say such a thing to any man she was attracted to? By saying that, she is totally friend-zoning you but she would only dare say that to a man she saw as not having any other options, who presented low risk of walking away, and a 'nice guy'. Reverse the roles. If you said the same thing to her she wouldn't have it.

This is what happens when you are a young man that doesn't know himself, is not on his purpose, and are following others in wasting time chasing girls when you should be chasing your purpose...

Best friend = friend-zoned. And you can guarantee that when they meet a guy they are really hot for, they won't be able to keep their hands of him. A correct response to such a statement would be 'I'm not looking for a friend, but it was nice knowing you'.