Is she coming on this date out of pity?

[Xenon21]

I had set a date with her last week and she said something very important had come up and she rescheduled to this Saturday. I know she has been struggling quite hard with mental health. Whilst I believe her reason for not being able to attend last week, I also think she was just giving herself time to get in a better headspace.

Anyway, come to this week. I messaged her yesterday saying 'hope you're looking forward to this weekend as much as me'. She replied saying 'I was looking forward to it but there is a lot going on in my life right now and my mental health is very unstable right now, I don't feel I can meet you'. Then she actually called on video call crying. I just said it's no big deal, we can always do another time and it's understandable. I had a few things booked but never mind. I am here for you. She said 'if you've booked then I'll come'. I was like no it's nothing major, we can do another time. She was insistent that if I made a booking that she'll come. Her mood got kind of better and we agreed to see one another on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

I think she really likes you and she doesn't want to disappoint you. I don't think it's a pity date. I think she has a big heart and she cares about you a lot. Her mental health is wearing her down, but she does want to make time and space for you in her life. You'll find yourself giving her a lot of time and space and you might not be able to meet up as often as you'd like in the future, but if you stay devoted to her I can see this relationship lasting long. Hopefully she doesn't try to ruin it though. But I mostly have a good feeling about you guys. I hope you two have a great date! It's really nice and sweet of you being so understanding and mature about her mental health and the space her needs to heal.

[BlueScorpio]

Sounds like she was honest about her mental health not being in s good place right now. Personally I think you listen to her and cut ties, it's hard to be in a relationship when you're mental health is in the gutter. She needs time to resolve some stuff, there are other women who are available you can meet.

[DarkWinterNights]

Honestly, if you are aware that she really does have mental health issues, then it sounds like she’s being straight with you. This is the point in time where you evaluate what you’re looking for in a relationship and whether you want to wait for her to be ready.


Maybe this is a temporary hard time she’s going through and being there as a friend for her could be a good thing for her. If this something chronic and is going to be detrimental to the relationship maybe pursuing her isn’t the best for you or her.

[Vegasrunner]

Tough one man. I would say you handled it perfect outside of the "I'm here for you statement" My gut says she likes you, women don't typically reschedule unless they want to see you and she did this b4 she knew you had things booked. My advice would be to go on the date but keep it light and try to enjoy and take some time to gauge her mental state.

[Summeroflove]

She agreed to come. Take it for what it’s worth.

Just know. After this date I wish you the best but. If someone is into you. They will put effort into finding a time to go out.

But. See how the date goes.

[OlderAndWiser]

At my age, it would be a new suit, shirt, and tie, new shoes, new belt, etc. Women my age are impressed with a man who dresses well.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sorry, this reply got posted to the wrong question!

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to date a woman that shouldn't be dating anyone? When a person tells you who they are, or that they are too mentally damaged, unstable, or unable to be with another, listen to them.

[midnightmoon05]

Don’t put all your apples in one broken basket.

[exitseven]

@midnightmoon5 A very wise saying.

[midnightmoon05]

@exitseven thank you.
I wonder if life experiences are more important than wise words.

[exitseven]

i would say that is true.

[Paul_in_Indy]

Don’t worry about it. Pity sex—or, even, a pity handjob—is still enjoyable. Have fun, and don’t stress.

[BigschlongEnergy]

She likes you Don’t mess it up and because she likes you you have a chance.

[WhitneySnow]

Not pity. She likes you but she’s in a bad headspace rn.

[Anonymous]

She sounds bipolar AF.

[jamartheg]

She’s a lesbian