How to know when to get back into the dating game?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been single for a number of years. I honestly didn’t feel like getting back into the scene of dating.
What are the signs I need to get back out there and look for someone?

[SueShe]

The only thing that you need to do in life is to die. That is all. All the rest is optional. You don't drink, you die, you don't eat, you die as well but if you don't date, the only thing that can happen to you is that you enjoy being single and that has more advantages than disadvantages. Guaranteed.

If, until now, you were able to live without dating, then keep living the way you do because honestly, you are not missing anything by not dating. As a matter of fact, staying single has so many more advantages, the first ones being that you are not likely to be cheated on, to get STD/STI and to be objectified or to have trust issues.

[Asker]

Lol. You make a great point 😄
I was in a 2 year relationship but have been single for 6 years. It was a bad relationship. Red flags central in that old relationship 🤣
However, I would like to try again. If it doesn’t work, at least I tried 😁

[SueShe]

Well, you know what kind of traps are awaiting you. Be wise and learn from your past mistakes and good luck with getting back into the dating game. Hope you find that special person.

[Asker]

Thank you. And thank you for your advice 😄

[HollyK21]

You don’t “need” to do anything. Take your time to heal and be single, then when you’re ready to date then go see what’s out there. But there’s no time stamp on these things.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you. I am not really in a rush or anything. I am somewhat worried my intentions of going out dating again are somewhat selfish. I have been feeling rather lonely lately but I am not sure if that’s normal or I am being selfish. I mean, I am looking for a long term relationship (ending in marriage). I turn 29 later on this month 😄

[HollyK21]

I wouldn’t say it’s selfish, but it definitely isn’t wise. That’s how people end up with the wrong person, in toxic relationships, or rely a lot on their partner to be that source of feeling good. You want to be able to bring your best self to the table when the time comes for you to date, so actively do the work now to feel fulfilled on your own, letting your partner only be an extension of that positive feeling.

[Asker]

You make a very valid point. And I totally agree. But I think my heart also seeks to find my husband and to love and care for him. I want to create memories with him. I want to support him and always be there for him.
My loneliness will pass but I know my heart desires someone to love, you know? 😄

[HollyK21]

Ask yourself this: what memories have you recently created on your own? I say this because you can’t rely on the milestones like marriage, motherhood, etc to be what gives you fulfillment in life. I know the right guy will find your eventually, but in the mean time, do what you can for yourself on your own. Go make memories rather than wait for a man to give you those things.

[Asker]

You make such a good point 😄
You’ve got me thinking now. I like making memories with my family too. I mean, I do try things on my own and create memories for myself. Recently, I’ve started sewing and completing embroidery sets. That’s a first for me 😃

[HollyK21]

That’s great! Yes, use this time as a single person to create your own memories and special moments. I rally made it a priority to do that for myself towards the beginning of last year. Then I met my current boyfriend out of nowhere in November. You never know when your time will be, so maybe try what I did which is to stop focusing on finding a mind and find myself instead.

[Nahid1707]

Welcome to GirlsAskGuys new user


I like that a few people have answered already


Remember to date when you’re ready is my advice


Dating is a learning experience, a journey and a process


How ever long was your last relationship
It’s important you accept it is over and move on Let go of your past relationship you had and hopefully you can find someone who wants the same exact goals as you in a relationship
Look forward in life because 2023 will be enjoyable

[Asker]

Hello,

And thank you.

True. I was in my first/last relationship for two years. I’ve been single for 6 years.
I spent a lot of that time healing for the damage done (emotionally). But I think I am ready to start the search again 😄

[Nahid1707]

Okay, that makes sense
You’re ready to search for your person 😊

[Asker]

Thank you. I believe so too 😃

[Nahid1707]

You’re welcome
Being single for six years now is okay
All about the dating process

[Guy13]

No time like the Present to get feet wet again.

[Asker]

Agreed. Gotta get back in there someday 😂

[Guy13]

I know…the prospect mile piled 💩💩💩💩 is so encouraging

[Asker]

🤣🤣 …looks like I am going to need a shovel to get rid of the 💩💩💩 to find the 💎

[Guy13]

And stay away from the jackass and cow patty…. Pigs are even nastier

[Asker]

Will do. Thanks for the heads up, sir 💪🏻

[Guy13]

Sure…happy hunting. 💍

[PrettyPriya]

There aren't any signs other than you feel that you are ready to get back into it. That is something only you can answer. We can't tell you when it is the right time for YOU to start dating again.

You sound like you don't really want to. So, don't. There is no reason to rush back into something or try to force a relationship when it isn't really there. I was single for a couple of years and then my (now) fiancé just walked into my life out of nowhere.

That was that. I wasn't looking or even concerned about dating at the time. If/when you are ready, try to find some local clubs or activity groups that you are interested in. You will meet likeminded people. You will also already have something in common since you share an interest.

Just don't do it if you are not 100% sure that you want a relationship. Even though it has been years, it is not something to be rushed. Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply 😄
And I totally agree with you. And congratulations on your engagement.

Tbh, I am worried I am being somewhat selfish. I’ve been feeling rather lonely lately, I’ve never felt that before. I am not sure if it’s natural to feel this way or it’s time to let the past go and move on to the future, ya know?

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome of course. Thank you so much for the congrats. Very kind of you.

It certainly is natural to feel lonely. You were used to having a partner and now you don't. That is part of the healing process. Only time will heal that all the way. My point is just don't rush it because you are missing having someone. Wait until you are 100% ready.

[Asker]

You’re welcome 😄

Very true. Being lonely is natural. I was somewhat worried I was being selfish. That isn’t my intention to be that way.

I believe I totally understand the depends of a relationship and I am ready to give my 100% to it. I am looking for a relationship that will end up in marriage. I believe I am ready for such a leap.
I guess I doubt myself

[PrettyPriya]

Don't doubt yourself. I had those same doubts if I was going to meet "the one". Then, out of the blue, there he was one day. I think the important part is the patience to wait for the right one.

[Asker]

Agreed. Thank you very much for the advice 😄

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome! 🙂

[Changiis07]

When you truly want to get to know someone for a long term relationship. Otherwise stay single! I've been single for like 2 years and honestly feels amazing. I've healed and moving on. I feel more happy and just don't have the time or energy to date anyone

[Asker]

Such great advice. Thank you 😄
And yes, I am looking for long term (ending in marriage). I’ve been single for 6 years now. I was in a bad relationship for 2 years. It was a bad situation but I have somewhat healed from the damage done. I am looking for a husband whom I can love, support and care for.

[Changiis07]

Yes you sound ready plus you have had a lot of time to yourself and to not put up with anyone who does not treat you right. Plus 6 years is a long time

[Asker]

Thank you. I feel ready but I am worried (like I said before) about looking again for the wrong reasons. I don’t want to hurt anyone or their feelings.
True. I know the signs even before the other person even realises.
I am on the ball when it comes to those red flags 🤣

[Changiis07]

I've heard great testimony's of people praying for their fututre husband or wife. God led them to their spouse

[Asker]

I shall start praying too 🙏🏻

[stargazeraug1989]

The best sign is simply the desire to have someone. Is that something you're feeling presently?