Who came up with the relationship/dating rules?

[Justneedtokno]

Share the ones you’ve learned over the years !

Like don’t be desperate but put yourself out there. Don’t be too excited. Don’t call or text first

[Investigator]

"Effort is attractive", not always. If this were true absolutely, men could never be called desperate for trying to get with women, because "effort is attractive"--regardless of who does it or how it happens. But it's not true. It's a Hollywood fantasy, not reality. Hell, the #MeToo movement and "no means no" is evidence enough that persistence is not always a good thing.

What women want is a guy they like that puts in "effortless effort"--doing something in a way that seems like he's not trying, it just comes naturally. For example, making a girl laugh, being a comedian, is a skill. Something that differentiates a guy from the crowd, makes him stand out.

For women, "effort is attractive" if it is genuine and doesn't across as obligation. If a woman is f*cking her husband because it is a spousal duty, he's going to notice. It's still sex, but without desire... what's the point? It's the same reason men who aren't desired by women don't immediately resort to using escorts, even though they very well could. Nobody wants to be a chore, that has to be done because "that's life/it's a job".

"Don’t be desperate but put yourself out there", "Don’t be too excited", "Don’t call or text first", all of these have one thing in common: they indicate value. They are markers of someone who is sure of themselves and doesn't require validation of their self-worth. None of these statements are technically false, but they are always read incorrectly. For example, "you don't call of text or first" because you are busy, which is supposed to imply demand for your attention. You don't not call or not text someone first, simply because there's some implicit "rule" against it.

"Who came up with relationship/dating rules?" People who are successful at dating and relationships make the rules, everyone else just copies what works. It's social Darwinism.

[Vegasrunner]

1. Never be any girls 1st or last

2. Never double text if she doesn't respond back to you move on.

3. Can't make a hoe into a housewife

4. Never take a woman at her word only her actions.

5. What a woman says is a reflection of how she is feeling at that specific time.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Only rule is just be myself... don't worry about being rejected, it happens to everyone.

[coachTanthony]

I did. You're welcome.

[William7489]

Rule number one for me is that you have to be able to love yourself first before trying to commit to another person. You can’t give away something you don’t have. Secondly, you have to ask yourself, am I dating this person or am I truly wanting to learn more about who they are, and whether they would be Someone I could see in my life long-term. Now maybe this is different if you’re in high school or younger, but it’s good advice. Third, honesty is always the best policy no exceptions. Whatever is going on, be honest about it especially at the beginning of a relationship. Whatever skeletons you might have go ahead and share them. The only thing worse than being lied to, is being lied to after dating someone for four or five months. Fourth, don’t ever have the attitude that it will be OK as long as “they don’t find out about it.“ That leads down a slippery slope that ends with disaster. Next learn the difference between privacy and secrecy. Privacy is everything that has occurred prior to the relationship and has no effect on the relationship at all. Secrecy and secrets are things that you’re hiding from your partner, or things that you would never do in front of your partner, because you’re afraid of the consequences if they were to find out. Always remember this, everyone is entitled to privacy but secrecy and secrets are fair game. If that still confuses you message me. As for all the other rules about texting, calling, etc. those are games and children play games. If you are man, via gentleman and do what’s expected. Be polite, show character and strength but do not be a doormat. If you are female, don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader, communicate with him, let him know that he matters, you appreciate him, and how important he is. Guys are weird like that.

[DaySpring]

I don't know societies rules.
I made my own rules. I've constructed my own philosophy on dating.
A philosophy that can be executed. I've created my own marriage definition too.
I don't believe in following the masses when they show time and time again that nobody knows what they are doing.

I see people showcasing their relationship issues on this site and the answer to their problem/s is so obvious to me. It's so obvious because of my philosophy.
It's almost always the same solution.
Wish I had this philosophy a decade ago.

[Summeroflove]

Just people. Find your own standards. I love how. Men traditionally back in the day. We’re expected to give their seat up to a woman.

When men traditionally worked and women sat around the house all day.

I say have your own dating standards. If you’re not compatible. There isn’t anything wrong with either one of you. Not meant to be.

[NathanDavis]

personally, I never asked if there were any rules... was never told there were rules

never even considered if there were rules... I just went out around life being myself, the better version of myself of course, and the genuine one... that has always worked great for me and also for those who have ever been with me

[Marklaw12]

No one. It happened naturally.

Men are stronger than women. Hence, Men protect women and women feel protected by men.

We all know women like protection and security so they go to Men with that while Men don't care if a woman is a waitress or doesn't work.

Men don't have standards. Women do. Men can have sex with any types of women. Women can't. The audacity of fat women thinking they deserve a 6 pac wealthy man.

A fat man cuts his coat according to his size. He doesn't go chasing models. However, when he's wealthy at that size the models chase him which goes back to security and protection women crave.

[hahahmm]

Dating is basically pretending to be married to some degree. People who want to avoid marriage are running around pretending to be married. And people who want to get married are wasting time in long terms with people they don't even consider marriage material.

Things made more sense in the old days when there was no such thing as dating.

[Justneedtokno]

Definitely playing house

[BJP21]

Without looking it up, Id say it stems from practicing etiquette in the household, when a guy courted or wanted to date, the rules of etiquette went into effect demonstrating to the girl you are worthy and civilized to be with. Nothing worse than a gentleman with his elbows on the table.

[Hairylegs222]

Most women definitely prefer the guy paying for the date "rule"... Then there's the guy initiating everything "rule"... The guy proposes for marriage "rule"... Opening doors for her "rule"... Sounds like rules women made up but I think it's just how guys and girls interact with each other that made them come to be.

[ArrowheadSW]

There was a dating book that someone published about 25 years ago that people were talking about, called "The Rules"... It was absolutely stupid... LOL

[FilmGuy93]

Realistically, your parents come up with your dating rules. People act out whatever they saw growing up in their families. That's why you often see multiple generations of the same kind of traumas in family trees.

[MCheetah]

Women did. Obviously. You think MEN would come up with the idea to simp free dinners and champagne to a woman they just met?

[Justneedtokno]

Actually, have heard men make rules too especially when they’re not trying to be in a real relationship Especially the no call rule, especially in the picking process to

[roy_ricky09]

Who says there are rules... There are none and never will be. One just has to be aware of what is need of the hour and make right decisions

[Qdbrown]

There are no rules. Just options. The idea of rules is the game. Some people are playing, others are not.

[DarkWinterNights]

I can’t keep up with them changing. And honestly, while some of them could be considered good advice, most of them really are basically mind games.

[msc545]

Women did. Men don't waste their time on stupid shit like this.

[Justneedtokno]

Actually, have heard men make rules too especially when they’re not trying to be in a real relationship

[innerman]

I think this is how Eve behaved with Adam, like… she was the only woman on the planet so she was being cool and feeling sweet,

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I think the screwed western culture, but that’s merely my hypothesis.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm willing to bet at least 80% of these "rules" are complete nonsense.

[legalboxers]

handed down from generations and social norms depending on the state and where you live.

[Twalli]

If my girlfriend follewd thr don't call or text first, we probably wouldn't talk much

[Anonymous]

Women came up with the rules. Guys just find the loopholes. 🤣🤣🤣

[RandomGuy1032]

Protect yourself

Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to

Don't pay

[Andres77]

have standards and don't compromise...

[Andres77]

Just because they say they love you doesn’t make it true. Love yourself enough to protect yourself.

[JustiReno]

People who get fed to make rules 🤷🏽‍♂️

[eagle1951]

Adam and Eve lol

[AndrésC64]

Who said that there are any rules?

[slatyb]

There are no rules.

[Blueeyes81]

Harry Truman