Guy lashed out after I told him to find someone else?

[Anonymous]

I told a guy who likes me that he needs to find someone who can be there for him. We live almost 2 hours apart & it won't work. He lashed out acting like he didn't like me only to calm down & say his feeling hasn't changed. He is confusing me because now he is going back to like nothing ever happened. My guess he was hurt? A lot of things he was saying and his attitude changed when I told him that.

Updates

1 y

Just to be clear. We were never in a relationship. And I told him the truth because it wouldn't have been right to make him think there was a real chance between us. I told him 2 weeks after he told me how he felt. in my opinion it's not right to lie to someone to make them feel better. We have been friends for months and I really do care about him and would give him a chance but the distance and the fact we both have children make it impossible for me anyways.

[DaveJord]

How long have you been talking together? I ask because this all started at some piont, and you knew he lived 2 hours away from the start. So if that's now an issue for you, then yoy should of said that from the start.

Maybe you did and he didn't get the hint, or maybe you didn't think it was that type if situation for him. But apparently after talking for sometime he thought it was something of possibility for the two of you.

So why would he of thought that, and how long did it take for you to tell him its not going to work out?

[Asker]

He knew early on that we didn't live close together. We were never in a relationship. He admitted he liked me for more than a friend 2 weeks ago. I told him that it would be unfair to him to wait for someone who can't be there for him. I didn't think his feelings were that deep for me.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, just making sure you didn't lead him on... it happens.

No sounds like guy has a sense of desperation about him. I know for me meeting women on line is a gamble and crape shoot honestly. All best ones seem to be too far away, and when you live in a small town like me... well the local population doesn't have much to offer and it gets depressing.

For me 2 hours way is like my maximum distance. I mean my last girl friend lived and hour and 20 minutes away... but she came up every Friday night and left every Monday morning. So we spent every other weekend together. It failed because of her living situation made it impossible for me to come visit or stay with her.

[DaveJord]

But yeah, if your not into spending days at a time together... or a weekend or two a month together. I mean yeah, your right... I not driving 2 hours for a cup of coffee, dinner and movie or anything like that very many times. Your going down there to catch a movie and then drive home.

[Asker]

I have too much going on in my life right now and he knows that as well. I have trust issues of my own which wouldn't be good for either of us. He works and homeschools his kids. He does lives in a small town and I'm guessing the choices are not that great... one big red flag is he's been married several times.

[Bethany22]

Lashing out can be a common response in guys during breakup

[Asker]

The thing is we were never dating. We never met in person. I think maybe he likes me more than I thought

[slatyb]

So what are you getting out of this friendship?

[Asker]

He is always there for me, he checks up on me daily since he knows I'm going through stuff. We enjoy talking to each other we like the same interest,. I really like him but things wouldn't work due to distance

[Anonymous]

Men hate the truth.

[Asker]

I was so confused because honestly, I'm sadly I'm used to a guy cussing me out. He just gave reasons why he didn't like me anymore basically he felt nothing. Then he said if someone really liked them they wouldn't want to lose them. After I told him his not losing me as a friend that's when he said his feelings didn't change. I feel like I went through whiplash.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you're a piece of shit

[Asker]

I mean yeah, I could have kept him thinking for months and months that we could be together and waste his time only to really hurt him. I told him 2 weeks after he told me he liked me more than a friend. It was hard for me to do because I really care about him. But no one should be waiting on a man or woman who cannot be there with them in person. He has kids and so do I. It's just no possibility for either of us. I'm sorry if you're used to women giving what you want or lying to you. But I'm better than that and want what's best for the people I care about... so maybe your the POS who would play with someone's feelings. I have self-respect and respect for others around me.