Tips to improve conversation over text?

[YHL6965]

I'm fairly decent at conversation in person, but I feel like I'm kind of boring over text. I tend to ask questions about what the girl does in life, about the interest she showed and all, but I tend to get dry answers. I'm looking for tips on how to make things more engaging over text.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Be random. That’s what I do. Some people may say it’s “annoying” but too bad. Sometimes it’s the other persons fault for being offended

[BarryLiverstone]

Be more playful. Don’t make it an interview. Pretend and role play (not sexually). Be silly and allow her to play with it as well.

[YHL6965]

What kind of play would you suggest for example?

[BarryLiverstone]

The fun play. You never played as a kid? Not worrying about saying something wrong and just flowing

[BarryLiverstone]

Granted I don’t know how owls play.. what games do owls like to play

[YHL6965]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I kind of buried that kid fun because of various reasons as I grew up so I guess I'm gonna need a shovel now. :D

[BarryLiverstone]

Find the shovel. It’s boring if we always state facts and interview. Girls like playful flirts and to be challenged. Too many guys make the mistake of being ‘nice’ and agreeing with them. Don’t be the nice guy, poke them a bit and banter. The more you play the easier it gets bro

[YHL6965]

So like it's almost better to ditch the questions altogether or keep them scarce and focus on playing basically? It's tricky because, in person, I'm more of a "situational guy", like my humor and banter mainly comes from situation, timing and such and I tend to not spark fun out of nowhere.

But yeah, as you said, the more I try, the easier it will be.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ask questions but you gotta lead the conversation. I mean literally 20 min ago i was chatting with someone and pretended I took her out to karaoke last night. So I can still ask questions like why did she choose that silly song to sing but we are being playful as i created the ‘date’

[YHL6965]

So it's normal for girls to not engage as much as us, like not asking questions as much? I used to feel like it was lack of interest or boredom. So when do you know when it's just you leading the conversation vs them being bored or not interested? I can gauge that in person but, over text, I find it tricky.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s harder over text but look for clues like emoticons, is she laughing. Does she reply quickly. Mainly it’s over time, does she have conversations many days or does she have dry replies. Again it’s on you to lead so don’t rely on text.. make plans and ask her out. You will know if she’s into you if she agrees to meet and date. Actors over words

[YHL6965]

Alright, so you have to "test" her in a way with stuff she has to engage with, commit to to see how much she cares and commits to making things work. Good tips, I was thinking about that to kind of move out of the texting phase rather quickly and have more personal interactions.

[BarryLiverstone]

Girls shit test us, so ya test her out. Don’t rely on texting for weeks. But call her before meeting irl. You can ask her out on a date for like next weekend. Still gives you days to text and call. But ya staying just texting is too lazy.

[YHL6965]

Alrighty, so you can kind of "set up a schedule" to see how much the girl is ready to commit, with progressively more personal things like calls at first, maybe video chatting later and then meeting up. Good strategy, thanks for the tips! I really hate when texting just keeps dragging on.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes, I’m a bit more old school so I plan. But don’t let it drag. Last tip.. don’t be overly sexual. You can touch on it and acknowledge some sexual thoughts but wait and delay that. Too many guys are sexual early and girls are sick of it. The more you can delay sexual talk the more you will have her curious and she will connect to you more emotionally.

[YHL6965]

Oh yeah, don't worry about the getting sexual stuff. I know girls (at least most of them) don't work like that and I don't work like that either. I tend to wait until we are close and at ease with playing and teasing each other, and it might only come out in the form of teases or jokes. Then again, it depends on how receptive she is when it comes to more sexual teasing.

[LazerBean]

I try to talk exactly as I would if we were talking in person. So does my husband, and it definitely enhances things.

[In_Trance]

Stop texting and call.

you're welcome

[YHL6965]

I don't think it works when you don't know the person yet. That's what I aim for in the longer run, but there is still that initial texting phase.

[In_Trance]

If you don't think face to face conversation works when you're getting to know someone you're delusional.
How do you think the world worked before social media and cell phones?

[YHL6965]

I'm not saying it doesn't work, it's just that, when matching with a girl on a dating sites, meeting in person right away usually is not an option.

But yeah, for a woman you met in person initially, meeting again is just better than texting for ages.

[In_Trance]

If you don't think face to face conversation works when you're getting to know someone you're delusional.
How do you think the world worked before social media and cell phones? I looked back over my first response and don't see anywhere I said meet in person.
I said call her.