Girls, Hi there, Not feeling good Im in love with my ex hairdresser since 2013 she knows that I have a crush on her but she doesn't know how strong?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

What did she say when you told her you like her?

[Asker]

I told her once that she was hot and she started to melt and go giddy this was a few years ago now the story goes, like this at the end of 2013 my mum moved us to a new town a different area and hour and bit away, I havnt seen her since 2018 she inspired me to become a hairdresser I needed a career change Iv just quilfiled last week !

[Opinion Owner]

Telling someone they’re hot is a compliment, not confessing to having feelings. Her response was a result of being flattered, I doubt she has any idea you have strong feelings, let alone love. 2013 was years and years ago, as was 2018. Who knows if she’s even available now or interested in pursuing anything but times only passing, so if you’re going to act then it’s now or never.

[Asker]

I totally agree it was the first step I only could do she was Newley devoiced at the time she is a bit older than me, The main thing as why I love her so much, she still does my Aunties hair, The main season for bottling up my feelings is I am afraid of herting her of scaring her off and getting hert myself my Auntie has said she's never said anything about a new guy how do you think I should go about this? I am thinking about sending her a letter saything that Iv done it I have been home sick since leaving at the end of 2013 I want to be a mobile hairdresser back in home town. Im not sure how she feels about the age gap.

[Opinion Owner]

Well if she’s your old hairdresser then you could always schedule an appointment then catch up a bit in person. If you don’t feel comfortable with that or can’t go for whatever reason then maybe ask your aunt to see if she’s even single or seeing someone. I totally understand your fear of getting hurt or hurting her, but that is possible with anyone you date. The only option to avoid that is never date anyone but I doubt you want to live your life single forever. All you can do is your best to hurt the person and hope they do the same.

[Asker]

Yes she is my old hairdresser, I havnt seen her since 2018 and due to the fact that she knows I have a crush on her I wouldn't feel comfortable Im just easy to get embarrassed, I have always wanted to have a 1 to 1 catch up with her outside of her work, what makes it harder is that she knows my Auntie and what if she says she doesn't want to do her hair anymore? She has a son I met him very briefly years ago I dont really know him very well I have thought asking my Auntie to ask if she is seeing anyone but I always fear it how do you mean do my best to hurt her and they do the same? I hope the age gap isn't a problem? what do you think about sending her a letter? My aunit had her last week to do her colour and told her that Iv passed she said she was really happy for me My life and mind hasn't been the same since 2012 !!! She did once say when she was cutting my hair that have I been out with the people from my job I had at the time? I always wonder why she said that?

[Opinion Owner]

Apologies, I meant do your best not to hurt her, I accidentally left the word out. Well when you say she knows you have a crush, if you’re talking about the time you said she’s hot, I can assure you that compliment did not imply you have a crush on her. When men pay me a compliment, my mind does not automatically say the man likes me, and that’s why I say she probably feels the same way. Even if for some reason she does know you like her, why do you think she would be so repulsed and upset that she’d cut ties with your aunt as her hairdresser? You’re not being offensive, inappropriate, rude, etc., so you genuinely lose nothing by confessing your feelings. If your aunt asked her “are you seeing anyone currently?”, the hairdresser would not automatically think she’s asking on your behalf. You’ve just gotten so much in your head that you only consider the bad outcomes and not the fact that things can really work in your favor.

[Asker]

Oh no worries about that, I felt so pleased when I told her that she was hot I felt so nervous ! at the time and I said it after she finished cutting my hair I couldn't believe how she was melting I could of had her ! your right I have so much bad thoughts of upsetting and hurting her and about cutting ties with my aunt Im will have a think about asking my aunt if she is seeing anyone, I want to have a tarot reading she pops into my dreams randomly is it a sign? So much has happened since I last saw her I got a new car its a fast one ! What do you think about the letter idea? I miss my old home town so much for 10 years I want to be back. I think she is the most beautiful lady ever !

[Opinion Owner]

I’m not against tarot readings, but just remember the psychic performing it is still human and no matter what she doesn’t have a crystal ball to see into the future. Unless your aunt were to specifically ask the hairdresser if she’s interested, then there’s no other way to know with accuracy that she will mutually have a crush and want to date you. It’s a gamble and a scary one at that but right now you have nothing to lose. If she doesn’t feel the same, it’s not like you lose a hairdresser and it would have no effect on your aunt. You would only have to recover from hurt but at least then you know and can be proud of yourself for trying. It’s cool that you have a nice car and feel like you’re in a much better place, but I wouldn’t advise hoping for material and superficial things such as your appearance to be what reels her in. You want her to like you for what’s inside not what you can provide, because looks fade and unexpected things happen in life, like losing the car, a home, etc, you never know. As for the letter, everything you want to say in it could be said in person. You two aren’t incredibly long distance, you want to go back to your hometown (at least thats what it sounds like but I could be wrong) and these are the Olden days lol, ask her out for a coffee or something and use those topics in conversation.

[Asker]

I agree, Tarot readings are not a like the real life way, Why does these type of things have to be so hard and with such high risk I should of said when she was just devoiced I did try to ask her out for a coffee but she declined think it was to soon. Due to the age gap I thought it would be best to try to keep it on the low, Just coz you know how people can feel about 20 years age gap she knows my Uncle and my cousin too I wouldn't ever use material things such as my car to reel her in, Im not the type of guy, Im very caring and thoughtful, We had such great chats at the time, We do have a lot in common, I dont think she's ever had or not sure a gounger guy so an interest in her. Yes I do want to go back to my home town but I can't afford to move out Iv just quilfiled and need to get more hairdressing experience, A few years ago my Aunt asked her to give a doll a trim and she send me the photo of her cutting the dolls hair, I always wanted a photo of her and she was wearing the blue floral top that I loved so much on her, This Blue top showed her top figure and it is one of the reasons why she is so amazing ! Like I say I am so frightened of causing a bad reactions, Iv always wanted to say that she is the most incredible woman Iv ever seen ! I will never forget the time I got her a box of fudge from holiday she couldn't believe it for a few seconds she was so pleased ! She is the one who saved me from having a blank canvas for a new career I love to thank her.

[Opinion Owner]

True maybe you should’ve made your move in the past but regretting that does nothing helpful for you now. I will be honest 20 years is a big age gap for some women when they are the older one in the equation, because we want to feel like our partner is mature, and dating someone so much younger could make her insecure and feel old. But this is speculation not fact, she may actually feel 20 years younger being with you if you’re the right man to bring that out of her lol. Maybe telling her how inspiring she was for your career choice could be a good way to initiate conversation. Honestly I really want to advise you be bold (because confidence is really attractive) clean yourself up nice and bring her flowers. Tell her you’re in town and wanted to thank her immensely for how she helped with your career and it changed your life. You can invite her for a coffee or dinner, say that there’s no expectations and that you just want to catch up. That is a good way to get your foot in the door with her. I agree that maybe all that time ago when you asked her out it was probably too soon from her divorce, but things can be much different now.

[Asker]

I know it was too soon after her divorce I was hoping to get her first yes maybe things are different now, I know that her son is her whole life she's a very caring mother to him I know her ex husband cheated on her for years not long after she had her son, Thats the problem some women are not into 20 year age gaps but she is 25 at heart very much so. I always have been mature for my age I dont act like a teen I turned 30 last month. I dont like looking too boyish I have a beard around my mouth always. I dont want her to feel like she is the mother figure and she is dating a young boy. Iv always adored older women, I think they look incredible 35 + , As for working in a salon Iv worked with women who are the same age as my ex hairdresser, I feel comfortable around older women, I went out for dinner hairdressers who I used to work with we celebrated me finishing my training. Yes confidence is very attractive I showed her that I think she's hot she literally was so flatted and blushed. I have given it some thought about already about letting her know that Im in town and want to thank you massively Id love to see her after so many years and after Covid times, God I wonder if she still has that blue floral top?