Do people that ghost do it because they dont want to hurt the person's feelings or to avoid confrontation?

Question

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

When someone ghosts someone else they know perfectly well that it hurts the other person's feelings, they just try to convince themselves that they're doing it not to hurt them so their guilty conscience won't eat them up for ghosting.

Ghosting is about self-preservation for the ghoster. Selfish relief. And they know that, which is often times why they make ridiculous excuses for doing it. How the other person feels is literally a non-existent concern in the mind of a ghoster. It's just all about how they feel.

GreenLanternI0I · Accepted Answer

Avoid confrontation due to lack of courage and respect toward a person who he/she is ghosting.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Despite my earlier comment to @ManOnFire, I am going to post a comment. @Samarasaid has raised a valid point. USUALLY, the ghoster is taking the easy way out, and ManOnFire's explanation applies: the ghoster just lost interest, found somebody else, etc. and wants to avoid the drama of a break up.

BUT. . . there are situations in which a ghosting response would be justified, such as a partner becoming violent or caught being unfathful. So we shouldn't automatically assume the worst about a ghoster unless we know some details.

Summeroflove · Answer

It depends. I feel like doing this is worse then being honest. As well as cowardly.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Both, but little do they know that ghosting definitely does hurt and confuse someone's feelings.

Avicenna · Answer

It can be for one of those reasons, but I think it's more likely to be sheer laziness

Datboi65 · Answer

If we're talking about people that you care about, then I can see why ghosting without an explanation can be a problem. However, this is very situational. Of course if someone lacks the self-awareness to self-correct and you have given have told them about the SAME issue multiple times and every time they responded with something along the lines of "oh shit sorry, I didn't notice" or "I promise I won't do it again" then at some point you just have to let go. Another situation is if the person in question is violent/manipulative, then you do not owe them an explanation either.

With people you don't care as much about such as acquaintances or colleagues/co-workers, I can ghost them based of a terrible first impression/rude treatment because I don't owe them anything as I don't know them that well. Only maintain the professional bond, but completely ignore anything personal related to them.

However, of course I wouldn't immediately disappear if someone close to me did something I didn't like and I would tell them directly what it was that they did, and why they should not have done it. I think you should at least give people the courtesy of knowledge before you cut the rope and if they decide to continue disrespecting your boundaries, then it's over with.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

They don't give a shit about the other person. They do it out of cowardice and/or lack of caring about others. A person who ghosts cares about one person in that situation.

Legitimate reasons to ghost someone are if the conversation is unsolicited (like a spammer or rando), if the person is abusive/threatening/rude, or if you have already stated your boundaries and the person has shown they don't respect those boundaries.

Do people that ghost do it because they dont want to hurt the person's feelings or to avoid confrontation?

But most people who ghost just do so because they are bored and tired of using the other person as an object for their entertainment, but lack even the basic human decency to be honest about it.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I think it could be both, because how do you tell someone you really don't want to see them anymore? It would be difficult for someone to hear why another person does not want them in their life without taking it personally. In some ways it is personal and that's what makes it so hard, if you don't click with someone either as a love interest or friend sometimes it's easier to ghost then to say "hey I just don't really think we're clicking, and I'd rather not continue this relationshio/frienship." Just in my opinion ofcourse.

Pegases · Answer

I ghosted a woman because I discovered she was a Narcissist. And one thing about a Narcissist, you can't find common ground with them when you have a disagreement, because they have a deep rooted fear of being wrong. They have very low self esteem, so acknowledging when they are wrong is very hard for them because it often sends them into a downward spiral. They protect themselves by avoiding any accountability, often by way of gaslighting. So with all Narcissists, the only real answer is to separate yourself once u discover it. So ghosting is an option that must be kept on the table when it comes to dealing with certain personality types.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel that it's irresponsible when someone ghosts, and that behavior is avoiding effective communication.

Instead of telling the other person that the type of relationship they're having isn't working out, and trying to make it work, or end it on good terms.

If someone was harassing another person, and that person being harassed doesn't want to talk to the person harassing, therefore just cut off communication and contact, that I think is more understandable, but if two people had good conversations previously and all of a sudden one person just not respond, I think that's irresponsible.

ZackBan · Answer

Both I suppose.

Personally I'm a fan of hybrid break-up.

Meaning you increase the distance, reduce the engagement, and then you have the break-up. That way it's not a shock it's just the natural course of things.

Disclaimer: it's never easy.

Amy10223 · Answer

I think they may do it out of cowardice. It may be that they dont want it hurt the other person's feelings, and they dont know how to handle it. So they suddenly lose contact without thinking, and that's what hurts the person on the other end.

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

I think in most cases, not all, of ghosting it's because you mean nothing to them. You served a purpose at the time, but once they no longer need or want you, they just disguard of you by ghosting you. They don't feel they owe you an explanation because you mean nothing to them

Nturavgniceguy_69 · Answer

Dang a lot of people agree with me. It pisses me off more than arguing and ending things bitterly. Have some decency and courage to face me if you're feeling a certain way. Maybe that's why they do it. They know it's the thing that'll piss me off the most. Some people also use the excuse that they're busy. Those people are lame. Some people are just childish, some people are too embarassed to face things. Some people want you to be hung on them while they don't care about you at all. There are various reasons. All are selfish in one way or another

mstbooblover · Answer

When someone ghosts me I assume they're tired of me, my conversation, the subjects I want to discuss, my proposals, etc. That's their full right, and sometimes one does not know how to make people understand it's been enough for them. No offense taken.

I do not ghost anyone without a good reason. Recently there was that person constantly insisting about things I already had answered about many times. It had been enough. No offense meant.

Anonymous · Answer

Avoid confrontation because they say don't ghost me just tell me and then you tell them you want it to be done and they keep coming at you trying to get you to keep it going. If you're going to make me confront you about it, respect what I tell you I want. Too many people not doing that is why I would ghost someone.

TDDMS · Answer

If the context is that of a romantic situation, then yeah it's not good. But if the person being ghosted is a narcissist, psychopath, BPD, then ghosting is paramount. I've had the misfortune of dealing with these types and that's the only way you can deal with them. The above mentioned psychologies can't be reasoned with. So letting them know you are leaving them will cause you far more harm than it will for them.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Both and more. It's used as a manipulation tactic by plenty of people as well.

The only good reasons to ghost someone:
1. They can't take no or a rejection.
2. They are disrespectful
3. They waste your time and just want attention.
4. To humble someone with a disgusting ego

CateM · Answer

They ghost the person because they're not (wo) man enough to just tell them they don't want a relationship. I say ghosting is never ok EXCEPT for when your safety is compromised

midnightmoon05 · Answer

When I was younger…I ghost without thinking…so sometimes…we are kinda oblivious. Forgive me.
well there are others who ghosted me…but I forgot so…such is life. Don’t put too kuch energy onto these things.

Bre_0611 · Answer

I usually try not to ghost but if I did it was simply either because I forgot to respond to that person or if someone is just persistently texting me and blowing my phone up which gives me anxiety.

KaiidiraX · Answer

I definitely believe because the option to just bail with no consequence is there people often take that option. It is kind of a easy way out. It is kind of a dick move to leave someone wondering what happened.

CA4444 · Answer

Both.. or because they really don’t care (that’s harsh) or because they already said everything they had to say and see its not enough for the person to stop contacting them so they give up trying to give an explanation and leave

Anonymous · Answer

Human behaviors are not a result of A or B. There are many reasons behind things and many reasons are widely unknown. So for you to ask for a “this” or “that” answer is relevant to your question not being defined enough as you are being very narrow with your thinking in your need for justification. Perhaps you are looking for an excuse with your limited capacity to understand.

JDavid25 · Answer

Basically just to avoid confrontation.. There's no way out of hurting somebody's feelings, they just don't wanna deal with any blowback.. Most times at least.. Sometimes it is because they don't want to see the person hurt..

holdem4884 · Answer

It's weakness. Everyone deserves an answer or explanation if at all possible. Human beings seek closure when relationships end, denying someone that is selfish and shows cowardice.

fembotnpc777 · Answer

Different people ghost for different reasons. If I ghost you, it's a sign that you reveled something that made me mf run.

avaisfree · Answer

Ghosting can happen for a lot of reasons and nothing should be assumed. That being said, in my experience it's usually done by people who suck at handling confrontation.

bubblegunnn · Answer

Nope, instead they are hurt people's feeling already cuz of ghosting.. so ghosting or nah, their feelings are gonna hurt. Better left hurt with explanation instead of left without explanation

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

because they just don't care, you likely met online, had never met before, and chances of running into each other maybe slim. All they have to do is press the block button

annabananna · Answer

Yea I think it’s people that fear confrontation or don’t want to deal with the uncomfortable feeling you get when rejecting someone. It can give you anxiety. It’s still better to not ghost though.

Rose_84 · Answer

Or maybe we're so hurt and done with their bs that we have no choice. I ghost liars and disrespectful people.

Redhead1981 · Answer

They do it to avoid confrontation. It's going to hurt someone either way. Maybe even more so that the other person didn't even care enough to give them a reason

pewter_moon · Answer

The reasoning could be anything. Probably being cowardly and lazy ranks highest though. I would guess.

Anonymous · Answer

Avoid confrontation is part of it, but mostly because you know already they're the sort of person who won't take no for an answer. Avoiding pointless arguments, pleading, drawing out the inevitable, that kind of thing.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Avoid drama. It’s cowardly and not ideal but it conveys the message well if you do it right…blocking and such on dating apps. But it’s so rude.

Moose304 · Answer

Most people that ghost falls into either having issues with passive-aggressive behavior OR they are simply sociopaths. Neither one are really somebody I want to be friends with.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Likely they are selfish and just don't want to deal with it, all they think about it how they want to avoid or not have to talk to them.

pleaseloveme · Answer

Because they are narcissists who only care about their own feelings

Anonymous · Answer

reasons: annoyed, not interested, don't want to hurt someones feelings, hoping they'd get the hint, hates confrontation honestly, it's rude and cowardly.

melanieeeB · Answer

Avoid confrontation and not seeing you as important enough to clear things out

Adam1978 · Answer

To not waste time on something they don't care about.

ProVox · Answer

Or to keep feelings at bay and not cross a line that shouldn't be crossed.  Nip it in the bud.

chicosuave · Answer

girls are huge experts on this. they ghost everyone.

MementoMori_ · Answer

Sometimes one, sometimes the other and sometimes other reasons.

Samarasaid · Answer

I have ghosted a man I've been sooo in love with because he disrespected me...

Hairylegs222 · Answer

Move on, get over it. Obviously not meant to be if the person does that. Ghosting is immature though and inconsiderate.

Exterminatore · Answer

Avoid confrontations. It takes character to be up front with someone, a quality dearly lacking in many people at current time.

Anonymous · Answer

They do it because they have zero respect for the person they ghost, and are utter cowards. I'm sorry if you feel the need to ghost someone. Do your self a favor, just do not date.

People who ghost are unworthy of respect.

aaron210419 · Answer

It's because no one cares about anyone but themselves and are afraid of confrontation. Ghosting is not how to deal with other people as an adult.

OddBeMe · Answer

Yes. That’s why I do it. Sorry. I guess I see the same emotional distress for the person either way. By ghosting, saves me the time and you can hate me.

Crankor · Answer

They are too scared to be upfront and eventually do it so often it becomes a normal thing to do. Really just makes them apathetic

ArtemisSilver · Answer

I try not to ghost unless someone is being sketchy and I've already warned them once.

MissladyJ · Answer

I’d rather just avoid confrontation, but if he keeps bothering me I will be blunt with him since he can’t take a hint

Anonymous · Answer

The two women who ghosted me way back when we briefly dated are all still single and never married so…not really a winning strategy unless the goal is to be alone.

Anonymous · Answer

I do it because I'm scared of committing to that person and to avoid confrontation. Tbh I just assume they don't care if I leave or not.

Anonymous · Answer

I usually ghosts girls to avoid confrontation. I lead them on until they let me hit and I ghost after because otherwise they’ll argue when I tell them I don’t want a relationship

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

I doubt it's either. Just straight up no fucks given.

Minahh · Answer

Could be both, anyway they are jerks who don't know how to communicate like adults

In_Trance · Answer

No. It's because there's no value in spending time on something they're not interested in

Greekgoddess69 · Answer

When I think of ghosting I think it’s because the person who is ghosting just wants out  It’s not about confrontation

Do people that ghost do it because they dont want to hurt the person's feelings or to avoid confrontation?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people ghost on each other?

Do people that ghost do it because they dont want to hurt the person's feelings or to avoid confrontation?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people ghost on each other?

We're glad to see you liked this post.