I have a feeling i'm getting played in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I remember the day before his birthday, he suggests we get dinner on his birthday
and then on his birthday he said "you want to hang out another day? I am with my friends" he does send pics of his friends
Although I work every other weekend, he doesn't message me as much on the weekends and he's off.
Also the day before his bday I was over at his place, and his phone rang, and he started swearing at the person he was talking to, telling him to stfu. Later on he told me that this random guy called him to stop snapping his girlfriend. He said to me he doesn't even have snapchat and said he could give me the number. But thats kinda suspicious.

He also gets really really jealous and possessive

[Rkbleezy]

So at this stage it seems like the best course of action would be to start looking around for things that might be evidential in nature. Reason being, you do not want to start coming after him with labels when there is no significant proof of wrongdoing. Canceling on a birthday even though it does hurt does not mean he is cheating, or playing you, but it is extremely rude, and there should have been a consequence for that. However, it is past so do what you will.

The reason I say gather evidence is because your saying he is very possessive and jealous.

Jealousy comes from a lack of trust in oneself or others, if you have given him no reason not to trust you then I can guarantee he most likely doesn't trust himself. This is important to note because if you don't trust yourself it means that you feel like you already lost the person your with even years after being with them. Which can lead you to act weird and make you prone to doing something that would break a bond.

And secondly you have possessiveness, which is quite similar to jealousy in the root. It comes from a state of either losing things before or being in fear of it due to seeing it in others lives. This means he has either lost someone special to someone else or seen it somewhere and is so scared that it may happen to him that he will do anything, no matter how hurtful, to try and keep you. Both in my opinion require a trained and licensed psychologist to deal with properly.

Personally from what you stated in your description, I cannot say that that is enough evidence to say he is up to something per say, however, it does seem rather suspicious. So I would take some time and do some trust exercises in order to ascertain what is going on in his mind. Take it slow, but if you need too don't be afraid to ask for help from a friend or even a neighbor. Its best to tread lightly when trying to confront someone on an issue like this because it could always blow up in your face. If you feel like your words are being twisted, like things are constantly being spun back at you, or that you are a target to his defensiveness. Then it may be time to consider other people. Besides that I don't have much else I can say based on what's here, but hopefully this helps. Have an awesome rest of your week!

[Asker]

I don’t know what to do

[Rkbleezy]

Well, I would continue to take note as to when things look suspicious and mark them down as far as how suspicious they might look. And take any opportunity he gives you to fact check his statements. I would also keep an eye out for anything going on in the household that you see as unfamiliar. And most importantly I would go to a relationship counselor. Licensed professionals have honestly some of the best advice ever, I have been to several throughout my life and can assure you all the way that they will help you navigate this situation better than any response you would find on here. And a lot of times your insurance will cover the session, just make sure to call and check before scheduling anything. I probably wouldn't tell him that you'd be going to see a relationship counselor though just say "I want to see a therapist to try and better myself", if you try to push the idea of mistrust too much then you may have to deal with a lot of disrespectful behavior from him. And being sneaky for a long period can always lead to trouble.

[DribbleGodCurt]

You might be getting played, especially if he get's jealous and stuff always look at him when females walk by, trust me on this one bc if a hot female walks past him almost every man looks except if they love their partner.

[Asker]

Yeah he does look well before we were in a relationship

[DribbleGodCurt]

Next time you go to the mall or something look out for that, and trust me if he truly loves you he'll be staring at you the whole time.

[Asker]

Okay I’ll see, the next time we hang out. Which I don’t know when

[Asker]

Yeah i'm upset I feel like i'll never get over him since I love him

[DribbleGodCurt]

You'll get over him, everyone does usually well i have a different personality type i can cut someone off in my life that did me wrong too many times so quick and no regret it.

[Asker]

like why is he doing this to me?

[DribbleGodCurt]

Bc most men are scumbags and you don't know until it's too late.

[Changiis07]

Be careful if he gets really jealous and possessive, which is never good in a relationship. It sounds like he isn't putting you as a priority. I mean it was his birthday and he pretty much cancelled to be with his friends, that's not right

[Asker]

yes I felt like not important to him because he hanged with friends. He does know that I don't like going out though... but I don't know We hanged out the day after.

[Changiis07]

Just be careful and look at any red flags and if your woman instincts are telling you something is off more than likely there is

[Asker]

Yeah i love him though and I feel like its impossible for me to let go

[Woodchuck411]

Definitely be super careful with that. If you can avoid you he'll do it whenever you can. And if he is hanging out with other people and you can't go with that it's not a healthy relationship

[Asker]

Lol I don’t get it

[Woodchuck411]

What do you mean you don't get it

[Asker]

If you can avoid you he'll do it whenever you can

[Woodchuck411]

Meaning his priorities are straight

[Woodchuck411]

How long have you been dating for

[Asker]

Umm like few weeks

[Woodchuck411]

you both look at each other like boyfriend girlfriend

[Asker]

Well he just said we could be if I want and I said sure

[Woodchuck411]

How old is he and how old are you

[Asker]

I’m 28 and he’s 26

[Woodchuck411]

That is not a bad age Gap. But if you're supposed to be his girl you should be number one

[Asker]

Yeah I don't know anymore I’m so disappointed

[Woodchuck411]

Do you want to PM me and we can talk more

[Asker]

Sure