I always find myself being in relationships with men out of my league. And then they notice how people treat me versus how they treat them (my exes) and they end up leaving me usually after two years. Men who are strangers don’t seem attracted to me. How can I stop this cycle and date men I’m less attracted to and be less shallow?
Well. If he treats you well. I think when people say that someone is out of their league it’s a self limiting belief.
As long as he treats you well. Look. Sometimes some people aren’t meant to be. It’s not your fault or their fault (or maybe it was depending on the situation) but many times it isn’t.
If your boyfriend loves you and he wants to be with you. He will stay.
Hmmm. I guess that they "out of your league" guys you are attracted to are hot guys. Same happens for all of us. The solution is to just look for qualities other than sex. It's is easier said than done but you get the idea.
Of course, the bad thing is that, you should also hold a "logical" standard about they guy's look because:
1) You shouldn't go out with guys you don't visually like at all.
2) Even these guys can treat you bad and imagine been with someone you are not attracted to just to be safe but then also get up cheated or left on. Sucks...
Make yourself better. Be confident, powerful and have something you are good at and passionate about, people notice
Opinion
8Opinion
And not be who you are? And how would that help a relationship? truth is that you have to find a guy that embraces that shallowness as a compliment. I think that's the only solution unless there's a fully transformed heart. Who knows...
You have to start by being an interesting, 3-dimensional person for the men to bond with. You can’t just be physically appealing. Your looks, no matter how good looking you are, will never be enough to overcome a boring personality.
You should date men you find attractive, but you should also be able to treat physical beauty as an afterthought eventually
"Leagues" are a state of mind. I've dated female attorneys who are far better looking than I am and who earn more, and been rejected by average-looking women who work as cashiers in the Dollar Tree. I ignore what others think, take a swing, and see what happens.
There's this instinct present in all women (and to a lesser degree all humans) which is stronger than average in you; and that's why it keeps governing your life at an age where wiser women have learned to not give it power over their decisions.
It translates into you being who you are.
Are you asking us how you do stop being who you are, and start being who you are not?
I know what you mean because I'm a Black man who dates White men.
It's can be hard for you to stop it, but it's called female hypergamy and it's fairly common.
I do not buy into the whole league thing. I have seen couples that look mismatched on the outside that are really good relationships. Base your relationships on more than looks.
This is actually pitiful
Learn to lower your standards.
You can also add your opinion below!
