How to stop feeling like I always date guys who are out of my league?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I can’t stop force myself to stop doing it,

But I also can’t stop feeling that way.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I never really thought in terms of leagues but I think it's because every human being tends to have varying strengths and weaknesses as well as varying future potential. If you realize that about yourself and others then it no longer makes sense to see one human being as better than another, just different.

Also focusing on compatibility helps negate that. The best couple is the most compatible couple. People tend to talk about "settling" when like a rich man dates a poor woman, or a beautiful woman dates a very plain man, yet to me that's not settling. Settling is staying with someone incompatible; that's what messes up relationships, not one person being hypothetically out of someone's league.

So if the more you focus on compatibility, the less you should generally think in terms of leagues. Compatibility is also a deeply subjective concept. Mr. Right for one woman might be very different from another, and Ms. Right for one man might be very different from another. Leagues don't account for the wild subjective variation in compatibility.

[nessiee01]

It sounds to me that you have implanted a believe of “ I am not enough “ to yourself and therefore you feel/ believe that the guys who you date are way “ out “ of your league.
I strongly believe that if you want to solve that issue of yours you will have to come to terms that you are a work in progress, that you are still in the process of becoming the woman that you want to be. How does that ideal woman behave, what’s her personality like? her values? what are her believes? If you are happy & comfortable with yourself as the woman that you are you will not ever feel that those man who you date are “out” of your league. You will feel that you are also at the same frequency as them. You date guys out of league I assume because you yourself feel worthy of dating guys who are good for your soul, and that’s good. But one thing for sure is, if you don’t feel comfortable with who you are as a woman now, you will always find yourself feeling that those men who you date are so out of your league. To add on, if they are actually so good to be true, so good for your soul and so “ out” of your league- and you happen to be in a relationship with one of those guys who you consider out of your league - I suggest work on yourself while being in the relationship ( if you feel that your boyfriend will be supportive and he should be if you say he is out of your league ) have a vision of the kind of woman that you want to truly be - and make it happen. you have so much time to slowly become that ideal woman. Now, I am only saying all of this because by the question that you ask, my best guess is that you yourself don’t feel comfortable with the kind of woman that you are now. Reminder: We all are a work in progress.

[nessiee01]

** only reason I suggested to you to work on yourself while being in the relationship is because I am assuming that you yourself have similar values with the man & if he wants to be with you long term he will most likely be okay with having you work on yourself while being in a relationship with him as long as you don’t hurt him. But he should be able take care of himself and be able to apply healthy boundaries.

[StarWarGirl]

There is nothing like "out of league". We are human and we all can change ourselves or develop our qualities and personalities as per our desires and requirements. What is important is we should be really wanting to be with each other.

Second thing is we never date "out of league" the person who chose to date you has seen something in you and found you fit for himself that's why he is taking chance with you so if you are still thinking you are not as per him then you are actually doubting his choice.

And finally how to stop feeling that we are dating out of league? This only our partners can make us feel confident about ourselves telling us how we are fit for him how our presence is important in his life. That's why sometimes words of appreciation and acknowledgement are important in any relationship so that to kill such kind doubt on ourselves.

[ohsheeT]

You're not out of anybody's League and if that's the way they make you feel then you shouldn't take them look we are all equal when it comes to something like that..

If you're talking about money or things like that I would much rather date a poor girl than a rich girl any day of the week for many many different reasons but I would much rather date a poor girl than a rich girl and she's going to be on the same level as me no matter what because that's just who I am anyway I don't look at people that being in a different League than I'm in I could really care less about that League

[Finchie40]

If they were out of your league, they wouldn’t be dating you period. Understand you are a beautiful girl , if you weren’t beautiful , you wouldn’t be getting hit on or asked out by guys’ period. So stop being your own worst enemy and accept who you are as a person , treat your partner the same way you want to be treated in return , it won’t always be perfect , because no one is perfect , so find yourself someone that accepts you for who you are that accepts your flaws as well , the same way you should accept them for who they are and their flaws That’s the only way love grows between 2 people , choose your partner the same way you want them to choose you , if they choose to walk away from you , understand it’s not you that chose to walk away , it was them that chose to walk away. Love only grows when 2 people choose each other over everyone else in this world. Selfish people , will never experience true love , because they only care about themselves

[FreyaRed]

Men at some level don't date women below their league. Maybe some really desperate guys do that, or when they are drunk they find even ugly women attractive. Nevertheless usually when they date you and they are sober and it's second on third date, you're playing in their league or above, because boys are hypergamous.

[kmg9150]

Men marry below, woman marry above.

[Anonymous]

Okay, seems to me everyone feels this when their ideal girl or guy shows. When faced with someone who seems perfect, any average person will generally feel inadequate (because their perfect guy/girl seems so amazing, we look at ourselves and feel less).

So, accept it. Also, remember the golden rule, regret is the worst! If we don't be in the moment (e. g. just experiencing how amazing they are and not thinking out from that) we miss critical moments and might never end up with someone superb (aka we all sort of end up pulling ourself down to our fear of inadeqaucy).

Live in the moment, assume the best, tell them properly how amazing you find them, and hope they might tell you the same.

[PeachyPie93]

If they were out of your league they wouldn't date you. They would try to be friends with benefits or say they "want" to date or "would" date you you but never will. If they are actually dating you they obviously like you and think you are hot.

[OtterMan68]

if they were out of your league, they would not date you

[spartan55]

Try to remove the whole concept of 'leagues' from your dating mindset, and let the chips fall where they may.

[worldscolide]

If they were out of your league they would not be interested in you. Perhaps enjoy the fact that they are interested in you and drop this whole leagues nonsense.

[TacosRAwesome]

If they want to date you then they're in your league. Or you're bringing something to the table that is hard to find in someone in their league that they value.

[Grond21]

Isn't it a blessing to be with someone who is out of your league? Especially if you're willing to rest in their love for you and not feel like you don't deserve it. That is the best in my opinion

[Heolurt]

So you date ugly guys? All women believe that anything less than a 10 is not in their league so are you dating 9's and below but only want a 10? Just aim for that 1% of guys and you'll eventually get one.

[NewgodOmega]

Stop dating
Single women are the happiest group its scientifically proven
Why willingly be unhappy that's stupid and miserable

[BonzoInBitburg]

Your "league" is higher than you think. You always attract your level. Like attracts like

[Staximus]

If they want to date you then they are not out of your league. There is no leagues for a good looking woman. If you were an old mud bird then that's another story

[Chelsdope0]

By not dating guys you feel are out of your league… lol

[Joshydavid25]

Don't know, how many words of affirmation do you want?

[DreamLife7]

How are they out of your league if you're dating them? Sounds like denial. If they're low value so are you

[Anonymous]

What exactly makes you feel like you’re out of their league?

[LadyLa820]

Hi you’re probably overthinking this. Just go with the natural feeling.

[MrDaveAPSI]

Liking someone is one thing

Doing something about it, is another

[justabuddy]

I don't believe in leagues. I tend to treat people as individuals.

[justabuddy]

I don't think you need to be so hard on yourself. Maybe do some self searching and see if you need to change the way you look at guys. But just because things don't work out doesn't mean you are at fault.