How to stop seeing every guy I meet as a potential boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

And I do mean EVERY! It's not that I'm desperate for a relationship or anything like that, in fact I try to avoid guys completely. And I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that I've never been in a relationship before or had any male friends but I just can't help it. Every guy I meet I end up scrutinizing him as if we're going to date or something. Even guys I'm not attracted to! I'm not proud of this and I'm starting to think I'm crazy! But I don't know how to stop! I even think about these guys often and build attachments to them and of course its never gone further that hello, that's if they even say hello. This is obviously unhealthy for me so what should I do?

[thetundrawolf]

You have the same fuggin problem as me. "Is she a female? HUH! She's the ONE!" *SWOON!*

I have deep rooted sexual trauma from childhood, though, so that's my excuse.

What should you do? Fight through it. Force those scrutinizing feelings to the side, and try and find the level of your personality that is begging to come out.

Part of you is afraid of the shallow, empty crap that is "Modern" dating, where a woman's body is no longer of any value. Your heart, and soul see, and know what I am talking about.

You do not want to lose your virginity (Which is SO special, by the way, do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You only have that gift to give to one person...) to some jerk who is going to say all the right things, move his body the right way, and get you into bed- only to use that sacred bonding of body and heart- as another hash mark on a long list of girls he has bedded- then left.

Yeah, it's a scary world out there. My advice is to listen to your instincts. That still, small voice in your head will never, ever let you down. But your heart easily ignores it. SO be cautious. And be wise. Your first sexual experience, whether with some random guy- which will leave you cold, bitter, empty, and angry- or with a man who truly loves you for all that you are, who put in the time to get to know and love you, who put a ring on your finger, and waited till the honeymoon- who will give you his earthly heart- and give you a lifetime of shared memories- you must decide which one you want more.

[thetundrawolf]

Thank you for best answer :)

[SparksFly29]

I have the same problem sometimes! I'll meet a guy and instantly I think, "He's my new target; we're going to date." But nothing ever comes out of it so I move onto the next one. I've learned that it's okay to try to talk to the guy because it's just practice. Try not to let it affect you too much, though. Like if you know it's not going to turn into anything, don't make it your all time goal to go for that guy. I know I wasn't much help, but good luck!