I want a boyfriend but what should I look out for to avoid dating a manipulative guy?

[Anonymous]

My ex was manipulative since he wouldn’t take no for an answer and kept persuading me to give in but I broke up with him. He likes to love bomb me with sweet words which is a red flag. Any advice and tips on how to recognise in a manipulative future boyfriend so I can take note? Thank you.

[HighValue]

The best advice is to not follow the advice of women. There are already a few giving you bad advice.

Also, don't be a hypocrite. Only try to get a guy with morals that YOU can also live up to. If you have ever participated in casual sex, don't expect him to be faithful. If you NEVER participated in that, do NOT accept a partner that had. You need compatible morals more than anything else. Also, each person needs to be FAIR to each other. Want him to pay your way? You should pay his way sometimes too, not just your own while he still pays his own way and thinking of it as a FAVOR to him. Want him to hug you, kiss you, make you feel wanted and loved? Then YOU also need to do the same for him. Be FAIR in a relationship. Fairness is one of the things that MOST women lack in relationships.

Be up front with your intentions. If you are only interested in something exclusive that has long term potential, leading to living together, possibly creating a family, etc. Make that clear within the first 3 dates so neither of you waste your time with someone that isn't compatible.

[lightbulb27]

You need to stop and process this relationship and heal the deeper wounds inside yourself from your childhood. When you grow from those and heal with God's love, your inner dialog /energy will change, you'll recognize these people quickly and seek better.

As it is probability, your emotional wounded heart is seeking a wounded heart like this and likely to draw similar.

Our therapists don't work as effectively at this as far as I can tell, some Christian counselors might get it. It isn't that complicated to figure out but it takes some effort.

Otherwise, go back and go for someone that you don't feel that much for, but get along with and build from there.

[KBird]

I used to date manipulative guys, and found a few things to look out for. Manipulative people manipulate their environment, including the people around him, in order for them to feel at peace, they typically are not open-minded or adaptable. So, I would say a great indicator, is to see how he handles a conflict (in general, but also with you). If he's not willing to consider other's opinions, or isn't willing to talk things out to understand your point of view, then thats a red flag. Especially if he is quick to apologize, or love-bomb, because it could indicate that the apology is not authentic, and he's trying to put an end to the conversation without actually understanding the issue. Another, is to see how he talks about others behind their backs.

[Bolt1104]

Same here girl my ex used to love bomb me too and then wouldn’t take no for an answer and that was a huge red flag. I learned that the biggest thing to watch for is how a guy handles boundaries. If he respects no the first time that’s a green flag in my opinion the right guy will respect you! If he keeps pushing guilt-tripping, or trying to convince you that’s manipulation. Also watch for moving too fast making you feel responsible for his emotions and only being sweet when he wants something. The right guy will make you feel safe and respected without all the pressure.

[AI Opinion]

Welcome to the love jungle, where we dodge red flags like a game of dodgeball! Your aim here is to spot those charming manipulators. Keep an eye out for lovebombing, as you've noticed. Also, beware of guys who don't respect your boundaries or communicate openly. Listen to your gut, trust your instincts, and remember—you’re the queen bee, and any worthy partner should respect that. Keep those standards! 💃👑

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't rush into a relationship and don't rush into sex.

[AviatorTom]

You generally won't learn enough about the guy until you've been on one or two dates with him. Then, your gut instinct will let you know.

[Finchie40]

Find a guy that knows what the word No means lol

[beefcakebradybatson]

DEFINITELY he must respect your boundaries

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Pay attention to patterns, not promises.

A manipulative guy doesn’t show his true colors at once, he shows them in small shifts.

* He makes you doubt your own feelings.

* He apologizes without changing.

* He pushes your boundaries then laughs it off.

* He gets close fast, but only on his terms.

* He makes you feel guilty for wanting basic respect.

A healthy man doesn’t confuse you.

He doesn’t drain you.

He doesn’t make you shrink yourself.

Choose the one whose presence feels steady not the one who makes you question your reality.

[Anonymous]

You passed the first test. If you did that without breaking you're stronger than you realize. A guy who LOVES you ISN'T going to pressure you. He may want to. BELIEVE ME he may want to.🤣 But you feeling safe with him and trusting him WILL be more important to him. Because he's in it for the long haul. Now there WILL be guys that will play the long game with you because those guys are typically seeing multiple women. But I'm trusting based on your first statement you're smart enough to see through those clowns game. All you have to is observant. He will slip up.

[CherryLove007]

Look out for the bastards and the ticking time bombs. Men that align with your same values is key. Your instincts are your best guide because when you begin to see someone new there is potential for manipulation out of the gate.

Also don't give them all your playbook at the start. Keep your baggage safe at first so they cannot use it against you. Best to you.

[MrChinaski]

I'm sure you had your reasons for leaving and I am sure that there were problems in your relationship. But there is nothing in your question that suggests your former boyfriend was manipulative. At most your description is that he was clumsy in the way he treated you. Most of us are clumsy in relationships.

[snermcger]

-Criminal record.
-Face and neck tattoos.
-Uses expressions like "Nawm sayin?" "Fuh real doh?"
-Doesn't own a belt, or worse yet, owns a belt, but doesn't wear it.
-Claims he has a car but needs to take yours as his is "in the shop".
-Spontaneously starts rapping.

Here to help.

[OneViewpoint]

I like to hear her recite prime numbers backward from 1,000,003. That is 78,499 prime numbers. It usually gives me the opportunity to get her off a few times before she can finish reciting the list.

[Anonymous]

Yes go after the nice guy who seems boring, who stays home, works hard, doesn’t go clubbing. A lot of women don’t want men like this that’s why they end up with the type of men you’re talking about.

[Noredcarpet]

Read up on manipulative signs, communication, you tube etc. Then again I think we can all be manipulative, not always fully knowing we are, even.

[jahaims]

Go to therapy before you date if you want a healthy relationship. People with unhealed trauma are easy to manipulate.

[Tamera952]

Have your guard up, remember that trust is earned, and remember that he will treat you as well as you allow him to. (If that makes sense)

[LiamJHayden]

Observe him when he doesn't know you are watching and check his behavior. If he is rude to others or flirty with other girls, run. If he is kind to everyone, young or old, conventionally attractive or not, green light.

[Jammannn]

Women don't just give chances. If your previous boyfriend was so obviously manipulative it doesn't seem like it would take very much to avoid that if you wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Track he behaves around you. Make sure he values your individuality. Base your opinion of him on his actions, not words.

[Alex-Snow]

Watch out for one who rushes things and is into you just for sex.

[In_Trance]

This has nothing to do with avoidance and everything to do with self control.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated

[beefcakebradybatson]

Be sure he is courteous, chivalrous and lusty.

[Anonymous]

If he's manipulative, just dump him and find someone else.

[itsannalee]

Be a bad woman, you won’t meet a bad guy.

[Batsy01010101]

You won't meet any you do that and in the off chance you do meet a guy he won't stay

[guesswhereivebeen]

Controlling and clingy

[rebelsunshine]

Gaslighting

[Anonymous]

Sweet words isn't love bombing 🤦🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️

[kayel27]

How to contact you?