How do you cope with dating someone "out of your league"?

Question

This guy is fucking gorgeous, and he says I'm beautiful, but I still feel like he's out of my league lookswise.

Seket · Accepted Answer

Ah, another case of low self esteem.

Fear not. Once someone choose you, whether they are "out of your league" or "within your league," it doesn't matter anymore. He chooses you because you have the qualities he has been looking for in woman.

If you judge everything from looks, all you will have in the future is disappointment and despair. You need to look beyond and realize that we men can call women beautiful not only from your face but also from how you behave and how you talk.

Ask him what he likes about you and polish it until you have no more room for improvement. Only through that you will be able to find confidence about yourself.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

If you feel that way then he is! Change your mindset!  Leagues only exist in your HEAD!

sejla · Answer

Just try to enjoy being with him. No one is out of a person's league. Now the other person might think so but that's not reality. I was the same way as you when I was young but now I know that is flawed thinking. As long as he treats you with respect and kindness just enjoy.

Dongtai · Answer

You fail by thinking there’s leagues to begin with. Why? Because attraction is completely subjective. What you think is a 10 might be another person’s 2.

You could be dating someone who you think is a 10 when you think you’re a 5 and they could be thinking you’re a 10 when they think they’re a 3. That’s why you will see people who you see as a 10 with someone who’s a 2. How they feel about eachother isn’t dependent on your opinion or perception.

There’s nothing to cope with because you’re making the league up in your mind based on how you feel about yourself and others. It’s based on your own perception. This is especially true with looks. Personality can change the entire script when it comes to attraction.

For you, I would say get it out of your head that there’s a league. The fact that a guy you think is out of your league is with YOU proves my argument. You’re the only one between you two who thinks he’s out of your league. Weird right? YOU want to date him yet it’s YOU who thinks he shouldn’t be.

Be you’re own best friend. It’s cool if other people reject you. Their loss. But when you start rejecting yourself, that’s when you put yourself in “a league”. Cheer yourself on and date the hell out of that guy.

AbleLearner · Answer

You can't worry about it. Love isn't about what's deserved. For whatever reason you both like one another, and that's enough. Don't goggle or anything like that, just play along with it if you like the guy.

I'm talking to several Chinese women right now who are all perfect "10"s and I'm only like a 7 or 8 at best. They like me enough to keep talking to me for several days each. I gave up on talking to 20-somethings. I'm talking to 30-somethings and a 40 years old, they all look 10 to 15 years younger than their age anyway, so I get a young looking woman who is more mature anyway. What's not to like? I'm going to figure out which one is most serious about talking/meeting in real life, and concentrate on her, obviously.

Anyway, if you like this guy, Just play along with it, and try not to do anything too stupid.

TheSoundOfSilas · Answer

Well, I don't really believe in leagues; I find a lot of the "higher-end" people to be fucking losers, just as I do the lower-end ones.

But I'll put it this way; hypothetically, assuming I liked someone, it would be just that. The feeling just manifests, with little to no rhyme or reason. Doesn't matter if they're stereotypically fucking gorgeous or plain and unremarkable, there's something about them that catches my interest; and that's all that matters. If it does matter to me, I'll try my damnedest to make it work.

Just as you should make your situation work, because it sounds like the guy is just about handing himself on a silver platter to you.

Ripper_E · Answer

Get over it because there is no "league". All that is in your head. People date who they want to date, it's that simple. All that out of my league bullshit is your own insecurity. Althought there is no league, that level of insecurity is very unattractive. Get over it and be more confident. He's with you for a reason.

Browneye57 · Answer

There's no such thing.
But there is SMV. A severe mis-match generally never works long term.
A guy's value is more than being 'gorgeous'. He needs to be able to sex you and entertain you, and support you and the 84 children you want to have with him. So his success is also key. And why you see 'gorgeous' women with so-so guys - they either have a big dick, or lots of money. ;)

Anonymous · Answer

I know for girls it is even more of an issue. As a guy, I am in a similar boat, but girls usually are way less concerened with looks. And that helps me. For you, I think one thing you should remeber is that guys generally get bored with looks very fast. But if the girl is beautiful on the inside, meaning, if the girl makes us feel content and calm, it is very much required in today's world.

jss123 · Answer

There's no such thing as leagues. My last girlfriend was beautiful in my eyes. I told it to her all the time but she never believed me. Believe your boyfriend. He undoubtedly means in. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks by the way. It matters what he thinks.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Knowing that as a girl, you are equal to a guy you perceive as out of your league. But also be aware your insecurities will eventually make him leave if you don't sort that shit out.

smølf · Answer

"out of your league" must be an American concept, I know don't this form real life. My girlfriend is 21 years younger and should by your standers be out of my league. My ex girlfriend was much younger as well and also out of my league. Point being, there is no way of clearly defining out of your league, it all depends on the mixture of your both.

Looks, personalities, circumstances, social and financial situation etc etc etc.

nerms123 · Answer

Good looking people often date a variety of people. He probably thinks you’re pretty and likes your personality

Haraald · Answer

Who cares if they are 'out of your league'? If he likes you then that about wraps it up don't you think?

TacocaT6969 · Answer

Stop caring about “leagues”. They’re imaginary, made up, non-existent.

Philyouup · Answer

No such thing. If he or she are dating you and they are still with you... the only person thinking about leagues is you. And that’s really about self confidence

Avicenna · Answer

If he's dating you, by definition he isn't out of your league.

Wowgirl30q · Answer

First off you think he's out of your league which sets you up to fail. Nobody should be out of your league.

tootoot · Answer

You need to trust in your feelings. Look, when he said you were beautiful, did you feel anything? If there are strong feelings at play, then he will love you regardless of looks.

winterfox10 · Answer

I don't believe in leagues, so that thought has never really crossed my mind.

DespiteBeing · Answer

Hi! Few things to start off with =] 1. Yes I
added you because you're a female
gamer, 'tis an awesome thing to see!
2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but
I'm not a stereotypical guy.
If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

alex_x988 · Answer

Nope he's saying such stuff just to use you... I'm good-looking guy and that's just a trick we use to get girls like you to drool over us... bluntly speaking

Gamillions · Answer

give in and enjoy the sex when it's offered. tell him he's the best lover on earth. if he's that handsome, believe me your not gonna get him to be faithful anyway.

Lightning8 · Answer

Eh, there's almost no such thing as being a male that's out of a woman's league.

Funistwo · Answer

No way baby , you are special and believe me in 25 years looks aren't everything.

DWornock · Answer

You are not good enough to marry but you are good enough for sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Leagues only exist for people who use Google to figure out what they're attracted to, the rest of us know from feeling and we are usually attracted to most people

crazy8000 · Answer

That's only in your head about league

COMMODOREII · Answer

Enjoy it while it lasts. Lol

Jason121x · Answer

can't say, can't see either of you

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Just give him plenty of head

BeHappy1985 · Answer

We don't care.

How do you cope with dating someone "out of your league"?

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