For which gender is dating harder?

[Anonymous]

[AviatorTom]

Guys get hard and women get wet... but I don't think that's what your question is about.

It's more difficult for guys to date. Guys are the ones who almost always do the asking out, and many women turn them down. It would be rare for a guy to turn down a woman.

There was an informal test done several years ago. An attractive woman asked random guys on the street if they would like to have sex with her, while a handsome guy did the same a few blocks away with random women. Many more men said they'd have sex than women did, even if the guy sweetened the question by offering money.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I remember that experiment. Literally every girl in the video I watched said no to the guy.

[Sixgunsound]

@WhiteBoyChill how many called police? Thats the likely response these days.

[tzdc21]

Men. No question. Most guys struggle to get sex, or get into relationships. Hence the reason why only fans and strip clubs are thriving, why 1/3 men under the age of 30 is either a virgin or hasn't had sex in a year, why there are multiple videos teaching guys how to get laid, and the risks of being a victim of false allegations (happens to women too but mostly men are the victims) when they did absolutely nothing wrong, and then there are the marriage laws that are stacked against men. In all it's harder for guys to navigate the dating atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. Men are the pursuers and have to take the risk of rejection, which I know is hard, but we are constantly being gamed for sex and have to discern who is legitimately interested in us and who just wants to use us. It’s often very hard to tell.

[NavyblueTacos]

A lot of people in here are writing men, lol. I think dating is hard for most people, and I guess the ones its hardest for, are the ones trying the most, since they will see every time it fails, maybe thats men, maybe its women, different struggles

[Guy13]

Men have and will continue to be the pursuer. It is in our Intelligent Design. The woman may tweak or even initiate the process, however, men are ultimately held as the responsibility party.

[JamesDiaz11]

Short answer: Guys

As everyone knows by now, 80% of girls are going for the top 20% of guys. Girls enjoy far more prospects, and can get a date with a guy (maybe not their dream guy) relatively easy. Average guys may not get a date for years.

However, actually getting a guy to date her long-term is more difficult for girls as once they qualify a guy (that he's great enough to catch her interest- meaning he's also got the attention of other girls) they have to convince them to focus on them exclusively. Girls nowadays have very little to offer a guy to focus on them exclusively.

[WhiteBoyChill]

To illustrate your point,
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=35fiNZTVVtU

[MCheetah]

Objectively, it is and always has been men. Because women can get sex easier and men desire it more and that gives women more "value."

Why is dating much harder for guys?

Dating is not hard for modern women whatsoever. Most modern women just have ridiculously over-the-top standards. As in, "perfection or nothing at all." They won't accept short men, non-wealthy men, non-successful men, etc. And if they could match those traits in the men they desire, that'd be one thing. But no; they are 3s and 4s expecting 9s and 10s. Aka, Hypergamy. Which is also typical when women are and always have been the more desired gender.

[Jaximus-Lion]

We still doing this? I asked in real life all the girls and women i know what pick-up lines on guys do they use, they all answered with (Women/girls don't use pick up lines on dudes) and that is very usual in Sweden. I asked them more questions, of course i would, i am an A-hole. I asked them would they ask a guy out on a date? 80% said (no) and followed by a hard (NEVER). Why? Because it's not their part to do any of this. It's always the dude has to extra effort. The effort to have a nie pick-up line, charming, tall, so on and so on. I know there is ladies out there whom asks guys/men out and give them compliments but! Here in Sweden it is very unusual. Men has most of the things in life more difficult. You can make a list all you want

[WhiteBoyChill]

Its just like that here tbh.

But at least in Sweden you have some of the world’s more attractive women

[Jaximus-Lion]

@WhiteBoyChill this is a very common general thing that the americans say to them selves all the time, which is not the case here, but fine 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

In todays world. Is it even dating anymore? Hook up culture has taken over. I wouldn’t call that dating. After loosing my son and then his mother and I splitting up I was forced into the “dating “ scene for the first time since high school. Eventually I just said. “Screw it “ And lived my life. I don’t fit into the new ways. A woman came to me. And the rest is history lol. Seemed the best tactic for this new scene was to legit not care if I found someone or not and to legit stop actively looking/ trying. I just focused on my job. My hobbies, myself. And the rest fell into place.

[MountAverage]

It is hard in very different ways for women and men, so I don't think it can be properly compared. Men have to compete a lot, they have to stand out in a sea of other competing men of which most go completely unnoticed. Women on the other hand, while having countless options all of the time, have to not only weed through all of these options, but on their way they have to deal with all sorts of creepy behavior, animosities, shaming and harrassment.

So if your only criterion is quantity, men have it harder by far. But if you add quality to the equation, women have it harder by far.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's harder for men.

Men are told we have to chase, but get punished for it, and women get love for just being themselves way more commonly than men do, because a lot of women were taught thar "it's ok to becan entitled gold digger" because every relationship problem is "the man's responsibility" (which is bs).

[TheSpaceGnome]

that*

[TheSpaceGnome]

be an*

[Izzy_3991]

Dang! What kind of women have you been dating 😅🤣

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Izzy_3991 I've only dated a few women, and despite them having other negatives that lead to breakups, they didn't do any of that.

I'm only into artistically talented atheist gamers that like tech, science, sci-fi, fantasy, anime, and animals.

I'm just very observant of other people's relationships, or rather they are very loud about their problems lol.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Men.

I mean were the ones expected to do all the approaching. Girls just get to sit back and pick from their pool of guys.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/jPuQ1Wjd2Rk

I mean just look at f*cking Tinder! Men swipe right around 50% of the time but for women its usually only around 2-3%.

And you might think “oh low quality men” but that’s really not the case when even this guy had absolutely no luck.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/35fiNZTVVtU

Modern womens dating standards just suck.

[Jamie05rhs]

That dude looks like Bert from Sesame Street.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@Jamie05rhs the cover photo isn’t very good. But in his other photos he looks about average and he is a highly educated and involved individual.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WhiteBoyChill Ok; cool.

[Anonymous]

Both have their advantages and disadvantages. The key to understanding this question is that men and women have different priorities, and both see the issue through the lens of their own needs.

Men are driven more by sex, and women more by commitment. That gives women the ability of sit back and be passive in the dating game and allow men to pursue them. So in that sense women definitely have it easier.

Where it becomes more difficult for women is when they want to get a good man to commit to them and/or marry them, because it is men who control that choice. It has become much more difficult for women in recent decades because men are increasingly cynical about commitment and especially marriage because marriage is not the same as it used to be and men benefit much less from marriage now than they used to.

So ultimately it evens out and both face challenges, but it's human nature to thing "it's harder for us than it is for them".

[Anonymous]

If you're talking about hetero dating, every single time a guy is on a date, so is a girl and vice versa. So pretty much by definition things would be exactly the same for each.

If you're talking about homo dating, I'm not sure, but I'd guess gay dudes date and swap around a lot more than lesbians do, so it's probably easier for guy guys to date but harder to get committed relationships and easier for lesbians to get into long relationships but harder to date. That's just a guess though.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends the way you want to look at it. Given the way women are it's probably harder for them to find a decent as most of the are very stunted in understanding what makes a quality guy

But typically guys have to endure a lot of rejection to find a woman who'll date him. So some guys simply do not use thier head and say NO when they meet a bad woman. Because I don't think most guys look deep enough when they first meet a woman. Women have guys outmatched by 100 times in this area. And since women today largely have no shame. Women know they can use any feminine wile to try to control a man.

If I vote I'd say it's slight edge to women. Because women can generally get most guys, but are incapable of determining character. Guys on the other hand have trouble getting women so while they can identify good women they can't typically land them. So they resort to the woman that'll take them sort of out of desperation. And she's usually not a very good woman.

[Adam1978]

It's not easy for anyone but certainly harder for most men. Unless you are chad. Women has the opposite issue unless you are among the fat and ugly you can get into a relationship, after that it's just a matter of settling with your expectations. If they keep running after chad they will struggle however.

[connemara_crocodile]

I think it's difficult on both sides for different reasons.

The guy needs to put more on the dates. I've been on many dates where the girl did absolutely nothing and yet I felt I had to put on everything to either get a second date or get a night (depending the girl).

For the girls I guess it's hard because of the danger of it. From psychos, to guys who want nothing but sex, idiots, etc.

[DarkWinterNights]

It’s hard in general. But it’s been harder for older unmarried, divorced or widowed women for a long time. Recently a very rapid increase in perpetually single young men is going to combine to result in the majority of the population single and childless by 2030.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's (slightly) easier for women to get sex.

It's easier for women to get a fake (short-term) relationship.

It's harder for both genders to get a real (long-term) relationship.

DATING itself (the functional process) is easier for men. As in, they're more comfortable doing it. It's harder for women because they are overthinkers. Their feelings get in the way of their other feelings which get in the way of their other feelings.

[AmyHew1tt]

Both, just for different reasons. In general, it seems like the beginning is hardest for guys, approaching, dates, and all that. Then long-term relationship-wise, it starts getting harder on the women.

[Looksnicholas]

The fair answer has to be, every gender can have it tough, I mean, looks, personality, it can be a shallow world as much as it can be a merry world. Lol. 😁

[monorprise]

Men, No question. Most women can get a date with relatively little effort, for MOST men like 80% it requires extensive effort, for almost 50% of men its almost impossible.

[DoctorSex]

Dating should have been considerably harder for men, but since the onset of feminism, dating is extremely easy for men and extremely difficult for women.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[DoctorSex]

Then again Im probably biased. My life story has been one of women chasing after me. Most men do not have this type of history. But in terms of what is required for dating, it has become a lot easier for men.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[inhua]

overall it's men. the average man doesn't fit the bare minimum standards of modern women some of which are completely outside their control such as height.