Who should pay the check?

[soz11122]

If you go on a date for the first time with a person, who do you think should pay the check ? Or are there other ways that you prefer ( go 50/50 or pay what you eat) ?

[DaveJord]

My guidelines are if I ask her out, I pay. If she asks me out, I still try to pay, but if she insists then it's not an issue to me. Especially when says she wants to pay at the time, she asked me out. But I always say next I am paying.

If I ask a woman out and she insists on paying, well that's not a good sign. Means she wants to get through the date and not feel like she owns me anything, when I had no expectations that she would own me when I asked her out. Means there's probably not going to be a second date... unless she texts or calls me and takes the initiative, to chase me. Because that is what women expect men to do, so if she wants to be the man then she needs to chase me like a man would a woman. Which is fine honestly with me. I have no issues with that.

But don't emasculate me one way, then expect me to respect you as women in the ways you want a man to respect a woman, when you are not respecting me as a man in the ways I want a woman to respect a man.

Some guys would say they have no issue with a woman paying, and that's fine to. There really is nothing wrong with a woman paying. But I am a man, and I want to be respected and treated like a man. Because I promise you, I will respect her as a woman, and no matter who pays for what I will always see her as, respect her as and treat her as a woman, in the ways a gentlemen should treat a good woman.

So, for me personally, I am a gentleman, and a gentleman always pays, and when the women insists then she is not a true lady, or she just not interested in me.

[Brutus977]

A first date should be a coffee or a drink. Both of you know there's an attraction just being in each other's presence for 10-15 minutes. No need to burn $100+ on dinner. I tend bar at a higher-end place on the beach. I witness it time and time again. Dumpy-looking dudes with billfolds trying to impress women who are out of their league with expensive dinners. Guys, don't do that shit. Make them EARN it. If you don't, she'll let you simp and pay for everything all of the time. You're not trying to buy the pussy. You want them to want to give it to you without asking. I've gotten lucky a bunch of times on the coffee date. trust me, if you treat her like a celebrity she'll make you a fan.

[NeverknowNeverTell]

depends on your relationship dynamic honestly. personally if I had someone to go out with, I would split the bill with them or at least pay for what I order/ate. but some people will offer to pay the whole thing. Others will do a trade off, you pay this date, I'll pay the next.

Honest depends one what the couple is comfortable with, it a start to setting boundaries.

[Agape93]

If I ask you out, I'll pay.
If you ask me out, you pay.
If we both decide to go somewhere on a whim, we pay for ourselves.
If you take me somewhere and you won't pay, ill leave. If I take you somewhere and I don't pay, you can leave.

[SnowedIn]

Brilliant.

So well said.

Someone please make this required learning in schools and pass a test before being given a driver's license.

[Agape93]

Thank you kindly. Way I see it, its fair.

[SnowedIn]

Totally fair and also It's just so smart and simple and easy.

[Agape93]

Exactly, appreciate it

[DoctorSex]

@SnowedIn don't get too optimistic, because how often do women ask men out? That's the trick. Lol most won't, so the dynamic of her paying is redundant because most women will not put themselves out like that.

Or at most they'll get your attention and expect you to come over and close the deal, that way she still holds the cards.

This is chess not checker's my friend 😆

[Account]

Whoever feels like it. On my first date with my ex I paid the bill. I enjoy spending money on others in general though.

[OpenClose]

My preferred is to go Dutch. But I usually offer. I mean it's usually a hour's pay at most.

Some might see it as a sign of disinterest if she pays for herself, but I see it as a sign of respect.

One girl who outearned me significantly just straight up slipped the bill my direction. NGL, rude AF.

What really weirds me out are the women who are insulted if the man pays. Like, they think that's being progressive, but progressive would be to see it as a nice gesture they weren't expecting, not make it into something insulting.

[MCheetah]

Pay for your own meal, be a simp and call it "traditionalism," or agree not to go somewhere that costs money at all.

I'm so sick of this double standard "women just want equality, but also want men to financially slave to them and pay for their food like a f*cking small child" bullsh*t, as well as the pathetic simp losers who think bribing their way into a woman's panties makes you a "gentleman." No, in 2023, that makes you pathetic and showing the world you have nothing to offer a woman but your money.

If you're "traditional," fine. Go ahead and lose all your money to a woman who couldn't care less about you. Otherwise, grow some goddamn f*cking self-respect and demand to be treated with some dignity for once in your life.

[MCheetah]

I also just realized this is a 22 year old, Level 3 admin asking this question who just joined the site only a month ago and already has more power than the rest of us. I'm already weary of this person.

[TroyDT2]

Good catch. That is weird.

[TroyDT2]

The first meetup should be something super simple, get-to-know, see if there is potential but easy to bail out early if it is not happening. Each should be prepared to pay for whatever was individually ordered. Here's the trick: if she offers to pay, I'll likely pay even if not interested. If she doesn't want to pay for her own then I suspect she will always behave that way and is only going out to get freebies. Adios.

[Kiran_Yagami]

Going dutch is always the safest option for both men and women. It removes expectations and it prevents exploitation. You'll find that most modern girls are ok with "foodie calls", IE going on dates with men they have no interest in for the sole reason of getting free food. Going dutch eliminates that scam. Don't be suckered by a pretty a face and don't invest resources into someone who's not investing back into you in some way. Go dutch or go get coffee. Losing out on a $5 cup of coffee you can live with.

[Blackcupcake]

it doesn’t matter to me if he pays or I do… I will always offer to pay, but if he insists on splitting then that’s not someone I would want to spend my life with… lol

[Anonymous]

It depends. Are you an entitled majesty, some sovereign, or, in a wider sense, a being superior to humans (and man-humans)?
Or are you on the level with the other humans, men included?
That's the real question here.

[jshm2]

These are things to be discussed before the date and determine the success of the date, usually.

[xJeremyx]

Simple.

You invite, you pay.
You get invited, you offer to pay. And if they pay for you, the next date is on you.

[OddBeMe]

Ideally it’s whoever asked. But chivalry will remain for a while. Best bet for all is for girls to offer and respectfully accept men who say “no no I got it.” It’s our power move to get in your pants. Show us mercy.

[exitseven]

The person that invited the other one on the date should pay. Lets face it it is always thye guy.

[Berethor]

I prefer for everyone to pay for oneself, I don't like gold diggers, so why should I pay?

[Fireguy17]

I come prepared to pay, if she really insists on paying or paying halvies, I'm fine with that.

[CateM]

Either split the bill or whoever initiated the date should pay

[Rangers]

The guy should pay but talk to her a bit before the date so he doesn't just get caught with a girl who just wants to get a free meal and run

[Anonymous]

If the girl i was on a date with didn't at least offer to split the bill with me, SHE didn't get a second date. I always declined and covered, but if the offer was not made i declined a second date.

[es20490446e]

We could ask the lady if she thinks a woman shall be empowered.

If she thinks so, she pays 😁

[Pudsmucker]

Usually the person that asked to have a date is the payee. If it's a joint mutual let's go have coffee or let's have dinner you can go dutch. It is also best to discuss who pays before you go.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I believe the guy should pay.

[Agent_Elflord]

I make sure to bring enough money to pay. If she tries to pay instead, I’m not gonna get pissy over it.