How long would you wait to find out your love interest is emotionally interested in you? Sexually?

[VIVANT]

This is not for personal advice, I’m just curious if there is a large difference between the two and of course if the difference falls along gender lines.

Google image

Less than 1 year to know they like me & are sexually into me.

More than 1 year to know they are emotionally & sexually interested in me

I mostly only care about knowing how they feel emotionally and I’d give it more than 1 year

I’m mostly only interested how they feel about me sexually & id give it more than 1 year.

I’m mostly only interested how they feel about me emotionally & id give it less than 1 year.

I’m mostly only interested how they feel about me sexually & id give it less than 1 year.

OTHER.

Updates

+1 y

WOAH! I did not mean to write the title that way 😂

The question should read: How long would you wait to find out your love Interest is interested in you emotionally, and or sexually?

BEFORE moving on, I mean.

[Lliam]

I voted 'A'. But I wouldn't be interested in waiting for a year. I'd say three months max, but preferably much sooner.

I never needed any loyalty guarantees or proclamations of love before engaging in an exclusive, boyfriend-girlfriend (sexual) relationship. Infatuation with a woman who wants a committed relationship (as opposed to mere sex) is good enough for me. We'll sort things out or not as time goes by. In the meantime, mutual infatuation is magical.

When it comes to an exclusive relationship that I hope will transform into a very deep bond, I think sex is essential. It's the greatest gift. It indicates a level of trust and commitment.

I like women with strong libidos who are picky about who they sleep with because I want them to like ME and think I'm a catch. She has standards. I don't want someone who will sleep with just anyone because she is horny. But I'm not interested in a girlfriend who needs guarantees before engaging in sex. Sex is joyful. I see no reason to wait an inordinate amount of time before celebrating our relationship.

The thing is, I date women as opposed to men because I'm interested in sex. That why I date women that I find attractive. But it's not all about looks. We have to really like each other and get along well. I like having a best friend to hang out, go places and do things with, and confide in. And I love the physical aspects of romance - holding hands, hugging, looking adoringly into each other's eyes, and feeling the thrill of sensuality.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I understand. A year is long but I had limited poll space lol

Totally get wanting someone into sex but caring who they have sex with.

I find the guarantee becire sex to ge the mist distasteful thing ever. Like you want sex or you don’t. The guarantee feels like well I don’t want sex but if you promise x y z I’ll do it. Yuck lol are we for said it what 😂

[VIVANT]

Tho I do understand people who don’t want sex outside of a commitment — I just don’t think that’s about a promise as much as we’re in this together deeply & sex feels right. I will never understand checklists. Turn off.

[VIVANT]

Be not ge & most not mist.

I think people wanting a contract of commitment before sex are as creepy to me as people who lie and pretend they don’t want sex when that’s the main thing they want. I don’t have a problem with committing or casual it’s the inauthenticity I find gross.

[Lliam]

I agree with everything you said.

[VIVANT]

That’s so much easier than me typing another response 😂 😁😁

[Lliam]

🤣🤣🤣
It's all about having common sense and sticking to your values. You've got plenty of both.

[VIVANT]

Thank you very much, back at you ☺️

[NathanDavis]

at this point of my life... I do not wait

I can usually tell within the day if they are INTRIGUED by any of me, intrigued being different from actually interested, the interest does show within the week or two weeks

in my case it is never subtle, because either I make things happen or give them room for things to develop and happen, and I never ever go after sex first, it is either emotionally or intellectually that I will start to feel that mutual attraction so, if it is NOT a mutual intrigue and then mutual interest, I just hold my horses completely and do not give myself ideas, that is when I just keep it casual and friendly and therefore keep myself out of trouble

[VIVANT]

What does “make things happen” mean?

[NathanDavis]

well... in the case of my ex-girlfriend, we met by chance at this party/reunion from friends of friends we had in common... we met that day/night by mere coincidence, we talked, we did hang out, we liked each other at that moment, we were both intrigued and interested on getting to know more about the other so, before the night was over, we made sure to "repeat" that night, we both knew there would be more events the next days

so we made that "happen" agreed to be there at certain party and that we would met again there, lol

usually, people exchange numbers or social media, and wait or whatever, we did not wait, we made it very clear we had a great time and we were interested "see you tomorrow again at this party"

[VIVANT]

Oh yeah ok that makes sense. Definitely the way to do it but only works if the person made a strong impression. We don’t always know lol 😀 but yeah i guess that was kind of your point. When it’s obvious you don’t wait. 😊

[NathanDavis]

yes, worth to note that the first time we met... we did hang out for about six hours so, during those six hours of back and forth engagement, we definitely had the time and the right setup to make an impression on one another... lol

which is something you do not get over texting a few lines every day or so

[Nomina]

Why a year? Way less than that. It took me a long time to understand and come to grips that if someone doesn't reciprocate interest, I move on.

Dwelling on how they may or may not feel with no show of it, is a waste of time and emotionally draining and torturous, to me.

[melanieeeB]

Mostly you find out the sexually interested part first lol
But sometimes good things need time and I don't mind waiting if he isn't wasting my time

[VIVANT]

I’m usually oblivious to both 😂

[VIVANT]

But most times if / when guys are direct, they hide the sex part tyrn get annoyed bc I don’t seem interested, meanwhile I’m here thinking they are asexual 🤷🏻‍♀️

[VIVANT]

Only chance for me to know what’s going on irl ( bc online people are more direct lol) is if I’m the one who is interested bc if I am, I’ll say something. But I wouldn’t say anything about sexual attraction, I’d let that be shown over tine also bc I do t feel that right away anyhow. So a guy will more so know I like him before he’s feel I’m “ into” him sexually… I guess not so diff from a guy except in my case I’m genuinely not interested sexually at first, I’m not being coy or trying to seem “not like that”

[VIVANT]

Oh and I’m speaking on my case so if I say guys I don’t mean all men.. I probably attract the quiet ones 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😊

[melanieeeB]

Yea you probably do attract the quite guys, I never met a guy who wasn't showing his interest lol Mostly it's just subtle through flirting but still you just know

[Guy13]

Not long. Ought to be fairly clear after two months.

[SnowedIn]

This is a fabulous question. And tough to answer in terms of putting the words to thoughts. I selected A.

I think the answer on "emotionally interested" isn't long. I'm patient and all that and happy to let someone else be cautious, patient, etc., but there comes a point at which I don't want to invest anything more if it's not going anywhere. And by "going anywhere" I don't necessarily mean sexually. Where I'm struggling with your question is whether I'd assign some number of days/weeks/months to it. Probably not... I don't like those sorts of deadlines assigned to stuff like this. But... my gut tells me that I'd know after a month or two.

As far as sexually, that would develop, I think, organically through the process of emotionally interested -- if it wasn't an initial spark or explosion in the first place. Likewise hard to put a number to but probably the same as whatever duration I put on the emotionally interested.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's all a game of chance, basically. (Though I hate to use the word "game" because that sounds really bad.) Basically what I mean is, if I like someone, I will TRY. I will give it my best shot. I will make my intentions known. But if they are being dodgy and not really responding to my efforts, then I will keep my options open and start looking elsewhere. Even if I do love them. Because, at the end of the day, unrequited love is still meaningless.
... So, when I say it's a game of chance, that refers to whether or not she will come around and actually decide that she likes me before I officially start dating some other girl.

[Jamie05rhs]

As far as her being into me sexually, I'm pretty sure that's a question that gets answered later on in the process. So I'm not really worried about that right now.

[Brutus977]

A woman knows within five minutes whether or not she'd sleep with you. It may take a while for her to act on it. But if she gives you her number she's already gone through her primordial checklist of biological cues she looks for. The rest is up to you. As for guys it's a yes/no within 10 seconds. I'll walk through the grocery or mall and ping yes/or no as I stroll along.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

10 seconds? For me it's 5 at worse, lol!

[Price511]

While I would prefer to know more sooner than later, I have actually waited for somebody for 3 years before we actually got into a relationship. We disconnected for a little bit because of one reason or another for a short while and I also dated inbetween then and when it happened, so take my words with a grain of salt, but my feelings flooded right back once they came into my life again.

[Juxtapose]

I am definitely not waiting a full year to let an indecisive woman communicate her feelings to me lol. She's either into me within the first few minutes of meeting me or she's not going to be into me at all, that's just how it is. You subconsciously decide if you're into somebody veeeeerrry quickly.

[Juxtapose]

The most I would wait is a month.

[dustybiker]

I asked within 12-13 hours I think it was. I didn’t want to mess around if I liked him and he didn’t have the same feelings in reverse. I jumped in or walked away. No messing around.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I want to leave things in her hands when she tells me that she's ready, but I do believe in marriage first, then sex.

[SphynxUK]

I can usually tell right away if someone in interested in getting to know me, or is wanting to sleep with me. I’m all for being frank and honest and I’ll ask I’m not sure.

[Sevenpointfive]

i know immediately if i'm sexually attracted to someone. emotionally in a month to three. so if i haven't gotten their attention by then i move on

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how you mean that. Because I wouldn't be in love with her unless I feel she had some sort of sexual attraction to me. I mean sexual attraction is kind of the dividing line between friend and more.

[Opinion Owner]

And some women show that in the first hour and some show that much later like maybe months.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I wouldn’t know you feel that way tho 😊

I’m not interested in sex for quite some time after I’ve developed feelings for someone so that’s my baseline but I guess in your case knowing there was sexual interest seems key in your own feeling. Love interest doesn’t have to mean you’re already in love just that there’s potential, well in my opinion anyhow 😊

[Opinion Owner]

Well I catch a lot of flak from a lot of women on here (this is how I know there are a lot of low quality women on here). Because to me "relations" comes down to trust. And I CAN'T be interested in a woman sexually until I trust her, till I feel I know her and she knows me etc. And that typically takes time. It's been my experience that with most women I don't have to worry about "waiting". Because it seems like they move MUCH FASTER than me. Now that's either because they're just just nutty and chasing whatever feeling pops into thier head at the time. Or I just miss every sign thrown my way. Based Ion my past I can believe both. Either way at this point I I'm just tired of the game. I'm not bitter. I'm just tired. I think most people aren't really capable of real love today, real love takes effort on both sides and I'd rather be single and happy then be with a woman I have to constantly keep asking myself what is she thinking?

[VIVANT]

I completely understand everything you said I basically agree.

[VIVANT]

And yeah trust 💯 essential. No reason to attack someone for wanting that.

[humanearth]

Look, I'm going to sound like a PIG, but

But sooner the better, I'm not the type to wait around to find out.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

One year? LMAO! If she's not a virgin, 3 weeks at best.

[BoobMan]

More than a YEAR? Are you KIDDING me Vivant? lol! It most definitely shouldn't take a year for either one of those things!

[MysticDevice]

I think I'd like to know sooner than later. But with a little bit of time for the mystery to manifest

[Andres77]

I’d only give it a few months, tops…and it also depends on where I’m hoping the relationship goes

[exitseven]

I do not have a lot of time to waste so I say less than 1 year.

[pizzalovershouse]

I take both slowly an take time in relationships to get to know some one awhile after seeing them before sex

[Shark_61695]

I guess I'd mostly be interested in an emotional connection and a year is too long.

[Philyouup]

I’m a sexual person. I am older so i know what i want in my lover.

[jayhams]

Why wouldn't I just talk to them about it right away?

[Guardian45]

3 to 5 dates max

[VIVANT]

For what tho?

[Guardian45]

To show interest and a kiss

[VIVANT]

Gotcha 👍🏼

[TacosRAwesome]

A couple months.

[Anonymous]

You need to jerk off