How long does it take for you to know whether or not you want something serious with someone?

Question

I watched a video last night where this guy was saying that guys know what they want from a woman within the first 15 minutes of meeting them.
I don't remember the guy's name, so I can't find the video, but it was in response to a clip of a podcast where these girls were saying they think guys don't know whether or not they want a serious relationship with you until after about a month or two.

Guys, are either of these true for you? Does it just depend?

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

it really depends on what anyone means as "something serious"I am always serious, lol...

- it can take me just 15 seconds... to know if I am seriously intrigued by someone I just me or noticed

- it can take me just 15 minutes... to know if I am seriously interested in finding out more about this someone...

- it can take me 15 days... of getting to know this someone to seriously consider going out with her way more often knowing very well that I would want to be in a serious relationship with her...

- and then it could take me 15 months... to seriously consider along with her... if we could maybe take it to the next level which would be something like living together, or marriage or any other longer-lasting relationship

and these figures are not all exact, just an estimate because every person and every circumstance is a little bit different from one another, so it could be a bit more or a bit less... and sometimes way faster or slower, it all depends... lol

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I am engaged now, so my answer is based on previous dating experience. I usually knew, by the end of the third or fourth date, whether I had a potential LTR in the future with a lady. Yes, I might discover red flags and warning signs later, but I would generally ask to date exclusively by the third or fourth date.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There's a truth in all of these answers.
Sometimes I meet someone and instantly feel a connection I wouldn't want to go away. Maybe even feel romantically attracted to them.
Sometimes I meet someone and only become attracted to them after months of spending time together.
And often, although I haven't experienced this, people know one another for years before they start to develop feelings.
It's all possible. There's no right or wrong in this.
What I do think is that it depends on where and how you meet them. If you're going on a first date with someone you met in the internet, that'll definitely be a different experience then hanging out with someone you've known for some time and start to feel attracted to.

cnj421 · Accepted Answer

I hate this topic so much. There is no hard fast rule when it comes to relationships. Every human and every relationship is SO different. None of these people can tell you this answer for sure. So I would encourage you to stop searching for the “answer” online and start paying attention to what’s happening in real life. Are they giving you the signs they’re interested? How does it feel? How can you let go of your fear and trying to control the outcome and just allow things to unfold as they should?

coachTanthony · Answer

I would say right away you know but just because you know doesn't mean anything. You now have to vet the person accordingly and not skim over red flags which many can't do. They just see muscles tattoos and blue eyes and are blinded to the fact they make minimum wage signing up customers at the local Gold's Gym with no future direction or goals in their life.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

That’s probably why they end up being hurt, you can’t decide that in 15 minutes..

Kaneki05 · Answer

A year cause anything before that can be clouded by lust.
And whoever say's 15mins is an idiot. It's okay to want someone within 15mins but to say you are fully in depth and knowledge of all the aspects of that said person within those 15mins is dumb as hell.
It takes months for you to really add up the positive and negatives of been with said person. Once it has been year I think then one can confidently say they are 100% in staying with that person and if they can't well that's your answer this one ain't for you.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

Just like every woman is different; so is every man. There are some cases where a person just clicked, and they knew they were the one. A lot of times the man may want to get to know the woman's thoughts, and get a good idea of her personality; this could take anywhere from a week to several months.

You also have situations where the two have grownup going to the same school, and have generally done things while growing up. Only later to find that they really want to be with each other permanently.

A lot of this hinges on how they were brought up, and the environment they lived. Bottom line: Every situation is going to be different when it comes to when a man knows, that she is the one!!!

Effably · Answer

All of the above.

I'll know within a second what I might want from you, or any other girl. After 15 minutes I will have an excellent grasp on it that will generally hold true.

But the people that matter the most to us tend to be exceptions to the normal rules. A month in, three months in, we might have changed. I might have discovered something I missed. Circumstances could be different. And suddenly what I want changes too.

So yes. We will know within 15 minutes. But that is always subject to change.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I honestly don't know how long it takes me. Some guys can just see a woman and know right away that they wanna marry her. It's usually based on her outer appearance.. We gotta understand that "dating" is a more recent phenomenon, and it's mainly in the West where we have the "pleasure" of vetting people and taking our sweet time getting into a serious relationship.. So in the past when a man saw a woman that looked pleasing to his eye more likely than not he would ask to marry her..

wolfcat87 · Answer

Men don't know in the first 15 minutes and neither do women. We know if there's an initial attraction and get a first impression. I know within the first 2 weeks of heavy talking if a man is long term material that's right for me. If a man isn't very interested in the first 2 weeks that you really start talking, he's not that interested in anything non casual either.

madhatters4 · Answer

i voted B but it's more of an average. i've been with girls where it took a while for me to actually realize something serious might be there. i've realized this feeling on the first date.

for example... i knew on the first date that i was way into my wife and something serious would come of it.

i've had it be within the first week or two

i've had it take months

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Sometimes you feel it after 2-3 meetings. I don't believe the first impression. It could be very wrong.

I like to know the person and learn some deeper things. What makes him laugh? What does he think? What does he like?

I think I would need a few weeks to be sure.

nastyb · Answer

I'm gonna say this as an experienced dater, you absolutely will not know someone within the first 15 minutes of talking to them. You might get a good glimpse of how their personality matches with yours. But, I can confidently say that a woman with a fun personality is not what will sustain a forever marriage. Compatibility is the key to a successful marriage. Passion dies, incompatibility will never die

SotiCoto · Answer

Back in the days when I still did relationships, I was always in it for keeps, and whether they wanted that or not was up to them. It never worked out. Never made it past the first couple of years. Eventually I just gave up trying and decided I'd rather just die alone than keep sinking myself into failed relationships.

Stefan181 · Answer

I would say I develope an interest in the first few minutes of meeting someone new and having a random conversation, but past experiences taught me that it takes time for the real person to show themselves sometimes
So maybe a month or so to actually developed real feelings

NZGirl07 · Answer

I've only ever had long term relationships. For me as soon as I'm romantically interested in someone I know I want it to be long term. I've never considered relationships as something casual.

Obviously if things start to go wrong you have to reconsider, but my mindset is always serious.

SunnyRS · Answer

I think it takes some time to get to know someone so at least about a month or so. But this month should be before we go out to date or start dating.
Cause if I ask you out I am looking for something serious it might not work out but at least I know what I am looking for.

kitsachie · Answer

At this point of my life, if I'm talking to someone in a romantic sense, I see potential in a relationship. It's as I get to know the person is when I learn that they're not going to be good for me, so it depends.

YesterdaysChild · Answer

At least a couple of dates. You both may be reserved on the first date. Follow-up dates will reveal more. But it might take a month of dating to get the gist of if it can go further or not.

dolemite58 · Answer

i think you know right away if a girl is more girlfriend material or just a hook up but i’d say it probably takes a month or more to see how she behaves, with all the dating apps and what not girls are more into being casual now a days and it’s harder to tell if they’re sincere about wanting to be serious tbh

TadCurious · Answer

Bella I can be really attracted in the first 15 minutes but that's way to soon for me to know that I want a serious relationship with them. It would take me getting to know them better in terms of what they're like on the inside.
😊🙋‍♂️

82lynx · Answer

I don’t have the foggiest.

I’ve never had a relationship and have no intention of seeking one. I’ve been burned enough times, likely just because the girls involved wanted validation. The only really sweet girl I’ve ever spoken with is now taken. Any that actually try to approach now had better be mighty careful; one wrong move and they’ll be dealing with my tailgunner so to speak.

JacobJordan · Answer

I knew within 15 minutes because I made a joke and my now wife responded with a joke of her own. Knew at that moment I wanted more. Wasn't sure how much but the outcome made it clear how much. Married and 3 kids

Monalisa77 · Answer

Disagree, the guy i like atm didn't start flirting with me till 4 months after i met them, unless they secretly liked me then (which i highly doubt it)

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I've thought that with some women in 15 minutes, some grew on me over time. It really just depends on them and the nature of where we are in the world and what is going on.

Jasmin01 · Answer

I must have met him a few times and talked about all sorts of things, I either know that it won't work or I believe that he could be the right guy for me.

SuperJJ · Answer

Sometimes it takes a few dates, but it has also happened to me that I had a crush on the guy after just a few minutes.

molonski2 · Answer

It takes time , serious time , more than 3 months if full time.

DizzyDesii · Answer

All I want is seriousness. So if i pursue you or admit that I’m interested, I’m talking longterm

LiamJHayden · Answer

I will know if there is potential on the second meetup. I do not judge by a first meeting because people are often either on their very best behavior or quite nervous.

Knowing if I want something serious takes me at least a month.

Hanrej · Answer

It takes as long as it takes for me to trust and commit to a mutual longterm plan. How long that is depends on how ambitious the plan is and how well and quickly I grow to trust.

Still-alive · Answer

It kinda depends on the girl. some i feel an almost instant connection with and want a relationship asap. others it can take a bit of time. I know for a lot of women it generally takes awhile though.

Miristheiss · Answer

Well, I can tell that I didn't want anything just within a few seconds or minutes.  I'd say within the first month I could tell.

Altheavas · Answer

It takes longer for me, I always feel like I’m being trap.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

It'll take about a month of talking to make the decision

DannyUk2017 · Answer

When she will prove it to me also... cannot be, like One takes the Whole weight and her None! 🤷‍♂️

spartan55 · Answer

@beebella 🐝 I'd say later than the first 15 minutes and sooner than a month.

Juxtapose · Answer

If you can last at least a year with me, then I will consider you to be serious. I am so done with people who act nice for a few months and then show me their ugly side.

AydenHazor · Answer

I take the time to get to know someone and build a friendship before dating, so I'll know if and when we start dating, but it may be weeks, months or even years of friendship leading up to that point

Nikki1989 · Answer

Once I feel like I know them well enough to make that call.

Dargil · Answer

The Negotiations: Three public dates at commercial venues.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Usually I know within 2 months or more.

Jonnywayne · Answer

I guess, I need a couple of dates and maybe I'll have to meet the girls family and her friends, before I can come to a final conclusion.

nawtee_me · Answer

I can tell in the first 15 minutes of meeting a girl if I want to put in the time and effort with her.

swettannie · Answer

It probably dépend of peuples. Pretty sure some are more flexible so take time, White others research spécifique qualité, so it can be fast

syncheart · Answer

There are a lot of variables to something like this! I can't even list them all!

Andres77 · Answer

If you ever find out who the guy is, find out how many times he’s been divorced.

Anonymous · Answer

No specific time as long as all the requirements is answered, then thats the time

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Within the first 15 minutes, I know whether or not I want to go on a date with them. Within 3 months, I can know whether or not I want to marry them.

Maddy2002_ · Answer

I say 10 minutes when they start talking. Also the way smell.

FenixG45 · Answer

They say you have 30 seconds to make a good impression. I think that's pretty accurate!

Anonymous · Answer

That's dependent on her. If she give me a lot of reason to doubt her it could take a LONG time.

Joker_ · Answer

as long as my ding dong

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

I know in the first 3 seconds if I want to seriously bone a bitch.

robocop666 · Answer

for men its just when you see them in tight jeans

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

Usually the first in-person meeting.

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

At least 3 dates

Worst · Answer

Takes 1 post nut clarity

RavVid · Answer

I know what I like.

Slim57 · Answer

Within the first month definitely

Anonymous · Answer

At least a few months, if not longer.

Iron_Man · Answer

60 days

Teabaggin · Answer

It really depends

How long does it take for you to know whether or not you want something serious with someone?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Usually I know within 2 months or more.

How long does it take for you to know whether or not you want something serious with someone?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Usually I know within 2 months or more.

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