About how long does it take a guy to decide what he wants a woman for?

[Anonymous]

After how many hours or days does it take for a guy to know whether he wants a woman for just sex or something more?

[MrOracle]

Usually, it doesn't take very long - often less than an hour, but in some cases, perhaps a few days or even a few weeks if he doesn't spend much time with her.

This is more-or-less how men sort the women they meet (who are single and within their target age range): a few are considered "relationship material", the ones that aren't "relationship material" but are still physically attractive are in the "good for casual sex" group, and everyone else is in the "I'm not interested in you at all" group.

A guy can look at a girl and in half a second, he'll know if she's in the green section or the grey section - "is she attractive to me or not?" Every once in a while he's not instantly sure, but usually spending a few minutes talking to her will clear up any confusion.

It's a little harder to know if a girl is "relationship material" or not - that takes some time either talking to her or sometimes just being around her and seeing her behavior and listening to her interact with other people. Lots of girls are seen optimistically by men as "potentially relationship material" only to do or say something that immediately and permanently demotes her to "only good for casual sex" - being demoted is quite common and quite easy. Promotions upward in the rankings are incredibly rare, but they have happened on occasion.

Lots and lots of women confuse SEXUAL interest with RELATIONSHIP interest, but there's a HUGE difference between the two. Sure, the guy wants to sleep with both groups of women, but that's where the similarity ends. For most guys, the standards for what a guy wants for casual sex are very simple and relatively low: she needs to be physically attractive, not psycho, and willing. He doesn't care about her morals, values, personality, education, career, family, etc. etc., because none of that has anything to do with him banging her - and that's the only thing he's likely to do with her.

But a man's standard for a relationship are MUCH higher, and he definitely DOES care about her morals, values, personality, life-goals, and those kinds of things. Sure, he'd like her to be pretty, but few guys are overly concerned about the details of her looks, beyond not wanting her to be significantly overweight. Most guys really don't care that much about her boob size or her ass size or if she has some cellulite or whatever - her morals and values and personality and her past are WAY more important, and if she has some nicer body parts, that's just a bonus.

The reason it takes a guy a little while to figure out if she is "relationship material" is because he has to uncover the details about those things: her morals, values, personality, and her past history. Those are the things that are going to make all the difference between whether she is considered "relationship material" or not. Of course, most guys don't TALK about these evaluations they're making - the women who didn't make the cut would tend to get upset and often make a scene - but that's what's happening. And guys will even warn off other guys - one guy will see another talking to a girl, and he can just give him a look, and that guy will know "this one is NOT relationship material!" I'm not saying that every man listens to those warnings, or maintains his standards - but a lot of men do, and the ones who don't usually suffer for it.

[Asker]

Wow I didn't know the glancing thing, tysm.

[HighValue]

I think it is often decided before they even meet. Some people only look for a partner for a potential LTR and after they date either she is a good enough match for that or he stops seeing her.

Or he is the type of guy only interested in hook ups/casual sex. Regardless of what that type of guy says in order to get sex from her, that was his intentions from the beginning.

[Wubs3000]

I doubt its a conscious decision you just realize one day that you want a relationship and that you love them instead of just sex. There is no set time it just happens

[spartan55]

This is a really odd question. This isn't something I've ever timed, or even thought about how long it took.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s not a matter of time for him to decide about a specific girl. It’s more so is he looking for a casual situation or looking for a real relationship. Does that make sense?

[FilmGuy93]

Realistically, it takes a few months to actually know

[MikeInHawaii]

In many cases, he has decided before ever speaking to you.

[_Aragorn]

me: texting for a few days, then dating, then texting again for a few days, then I know :) :P

[jahaims]

It's not a set amount lmfao. Males don't have universal wants and needs just because we share a gender.

[Asker]

Never said they did. In that case the question means how long does it take YOU to decide.

[jahaims]

I'm not into casual sex so I only dated to marry.

[JakeS00]

I look to date to marry. It shouldn't take that long for a man to know what he wants a woman for.

[Guy13]

☝️ 👀

[Asker]

1 minute?

[Guy13]

Yes and one look