How soon after seeing a women does a man know he wants to be with her?

[Anonymous]

How soon after seeing a women does a man know he wants to be with her? And how can I ask him what he wants without being too pushy? Especially if they both did not have any clear expectations at the start of their courtship? For example it took me 5 weeks to realise I actually like him. I wasn’t sure how I felt at the start.

Updates

+1 y

We have been seeing each other for 9 weeks now

[OfMiceandMen]

If I were you, I would just state how you feel at this point. I would start with something like...

"I just want to let you know that I've grown fond of our time together and I would like to continue getting to know you, do you feel the same way?"

If he says yes, then you should likely let him know that from hereon in you consider it to be exclusive at this point, as you don't want to see anyone else. I would also add, "I know everyone is different, do you need a bit more time?" If he does, that is fair it may take people a little longer to know what they want. If that is the case, I would say "let's continue on as we've been and perhaps you can let me know when you feel the same way."

It then puts the ball in his court and you can limit what you do with him till you find out where his head is at. That way you don't fall prey to a potential player.

[OfMiceandMen]

Thanks.😊

[Asker]

@ofmiceandmen I saw him last night. And last week he pretty much had a hard week. So he expressed how he was feeling and thanked me for listening. He pretty much vented for 30 mins and I listened and gave him advice. I guess that’s a good sign that he trusts me enough to tell me. Also he said he is free on time weekend and would like to catch up with me. I think as he has been going through stress, I might wait a few weeks to let him know everything you mentioned. But great advice

[OfMiceandMen]

It certainly sounds as if he likes you a lot and trusts you to vent some frustrations. In addition, to making plans this upcoming weekend, which is an obvious sign he likes spending time with you. Likely a good idea to wait a little while and hopefully the bit of stress he is experiencing drops off.

[Summeroflove]

You know. It really depends. Sometimes people hit it off right away. I do think if it’s someone you don’t know it definitely takes time to get to know someone and bond with them.

If it’s meant to be it will be. If you feel you’re ready to take the next step then see how he feels about it

[Pinay_ako]

You realized you like him after 5 weeks of the 9? So you’ve been continually seeing him for 4 weeks in a row without any interest? If you have been seeing each other for 9 weeks, shouldn’t that tell you there’s something there? Is this exclusive? Are you guys talking/seeing only? What do you guys talk about besides continually seeing each other? Shouldn’t where you guys stand be in the conversations most of all? Ask him. I need more information from this. But after 9 weeks, if the person is still with you, it means he wants to be with you.

[Asker]

@pinay_ako I realised I liked him before 4 weeks but was telling myself that he is too good for me and trying to convince myself that I don’t like him. But after getting to know him i finally decided I liked him. I know that probably doesn’t make sense but I had my walls up. It is exclusive.. I’m not seeing anyone else and either is he. Of course we do more besides talk. Last night he opened up to me about some stress he has been having. So pretty happy he trusts me enough to let me know. Yes I wanted to ask him what we are but will do soonZ

[Pinay_ako]

Yes do that. All the best

[midnightmoon05]

If you have gone out for more than 3 dates within 3 weeks…either can have this talk. If you are already intimate…have a talk.
Communications in relationships is key.

[Jamie05rhs]

You mean "seeing" as in dating?
That really depends.

There are two types of men:

The first kind is just dating around casually until he finds someone that he "clicks" with. But he is in no hurry to settle down. He may even avoid getting into a relationship even if he likes the girl.

The second kind is actively seeking a relationship, so if he dates a girl, then he already knows that he likes her, and he is definitely open to seeing where things lead and looking hopefully at the potential for the relationship becoming serious.

[abc3643]

About 1 to 2 seconds, he will make a cursory judgment of either "No" or "Possibly".
If that cursory judgment is "Possibly", then he will focus on her to discern new information about her to see if she goes into the "No" bucket or the "Yes" bucket.

[EricSummer]

If after a third date both still want to meet again I think it's a good time to say that they are officially together now. Of course, they should also talk about what they want in the first place.
It depends a bit how fast they go with the intimacy. I would make some commitment fir an exvlusive relationship somewhere between the first kiss and the first sex.

[shades777]

Like most men, I look at here physically, but at 35 there's more to it than that, how she treats me, treats others, her overall attitude ( optimistic/pessimistic), beliefs, things of that nature matter more to me now than when I was in my 20's.


For general hook up, I still require her to be healthy, hygienic, shaved, but I'm not as preferenced because I dont seek a future with a one night stand, its just a fling. And I don't like having a stranger in my home ☺️

[Kaamraj]

The more sexual choice and higher value the man is, the more time he will take becuase the more is at stake. But I'd say that a month is a good time.

[asphaltrhymes]

Maybe within a few seconds to a few minutes, but maybe I'm mistaking for lust 😋🙃😁

[FilmGuy93]

I can get a pretty good idea by the second date.

[noohair]

When men are looking seriously, they are doing the caveman math in their head with everyone they see. It is sometimes fast or not as fast.

[asphaltrhymes]

I've been there 😁

[David4358]

what is it you are asking here? like you want to be exclusive or something more like engaged.. marriage.. kids.. etc?

[Willoughby23]

Sexually, most men will know as soon as they see a women. Being in a committed relationship is a whole different story though.

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

Can relate a little too hard

[shades777]

absolutely

[dudeinohio]

I can usually make that determination during the first date.

[asphaltrhymes]

Or within 1-2 interactions. They either smell bad or they smell good. Type of thing ☺️😅

[sravmr123]

I believe it depends on the man & the woman involved and it also differs from couple to couple

[spartan55]

Does he know what you want? I will guess NO

[Asker]

I haven’t told him yet as I really didn’t know what I wanted until 2 weeks ago. @spartan55 I thought he was too good for me

[ChillaxingLove]

I personally can tell after 1 conversation.

[FunkyMonkee]

Sometimes, immediately!

[Anonymous]

Maybe about 10 years.

[Asker]

10 years to know if he wants to be with her? That’s excessive

[Opinion Owner]

It takes a while to know whether the woman you're with is going to flake on you or not. If she hasn't in 10 years. Odds are she's for real.

[Marlborossi]

It will come with time

[TheSpaceGnome]

3 years.

[Asker]

3 years to know if he wants to be with her? That’s excessive

[TheSpaceGnome]

No it isn't.
It doesn't take 3 years to know what I want, it takes 3 years to know she isn't lying about anything she says she is, or acts like.

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

Grow up dude, she’s talking about dating not marriage

[TheSpaceGnome]

@DamianTheSmikkelbeer You grow up, dating is a bad way to get to know a person, it causes people to rush into a relationship and do physical things with a person before they know them well enough.

[Anonymous]

Aaa!