What do women really want in a guy?

[theblackdog]

im so frustrated i feel like i have to be mean to girls i like so they end up liking me and make tones of money and be very good looking. look im 29 years old and i have never been in a relationship i consider my self very handsome, funny, smart, and kind. yet im only attracted to bad women like really sexy sluty girls who have no class. so what do women really want i hate being a man whore i really want to vibe with the right girl?

[btbc92]

The real question is: What do YOU want in a woman?
And what KIND of MAN do YOU WANT to BE?

Because I can give you the most simple generic answer as a woman and you can give me the most simple generic answer as a man and we will both be right AND wrongat the same time.

What a woman/girl/female wants in a man?: A man who will love, cherish, provide, care and of course MARRY HER.
What is a woman's dream?: To be married.
What does a woman want in a relationship? Partner?: Varies by person to person.
How does a woman want to be treated and courted?: Also, Varies by person to person.

There. I told you what we want. Now is this true for every woman in the world? Yes. BUT do EVERY person now shares that desire as opposed to their past selves regarding relationships? No. Because the reality is this. People have been sold a lie, have poor experiences, unrealistic expectations not only formed for ourselves but also expected and dumped on us. Just like with men.

So, the same question applies to you as a man.

What does a man/boy/male want in a woman?: A woman who honor's, respects him and his personal leadership, a woman who won't cause strive, somebody he can provide for and she lets him, somebody he can love, cherish, provide for, care for, and wants to MARRY HIM. Somebody who is willing to be his helpmeet.
What is a man's dream?: To live a simple life according to his needs, and share intimacy with another human being. Somebody to express sexual intimacy with, and have offspring.
What does a man want in a relationship? Partner?: Varies by person to person.How does a man desire to be treated and be dating?: With RESPECT. But the answer is also, Varies by person to person.

Now it is best to remember that Jesus said not EVERYBODY is called to marriage [sexual relationship]. Some are called, others are NOT. Then there are those who were made eunuchs [physically or spiritually] for the sake of the kingdom. <-- Has little to do with being a nun. It is also wise to know that there is a major difference between abstinence and celibacy. Abstinence just means to abstain from it until a certain time frame. Celibacy is having NO desire for a sexual relationship and what it entitles or comes with it [dating, marriage, children, sex PERIOD]. Now you may ask what does any of this have to do with what you're asking or referring to? A HECK of a lot. Whether one believes in God, religion or not, it is imperative to know that we are made as human beings to be SEXUAL CREATURES. That's why we have sexual organs to procreate and desire sex. Everybody unless there is a mental or medical problem has them. But just because your body wants it, like craving for sugary things. It doesn't mean we personally want it, if not, or that its healthy to indulge it in not just sinful ways but unhealthy ways and intent. It hurts EVERYBODY, not just you.

[btbc92]

While you have been taught that girls prefer it if you're an a*hole to them, or that you are a sexy, handsome, smart, nice, creative, etc man or person. It doesn't really MEAN anything in REAL relationships, or in reality. BUT the REALITY IS, is that society have taught us WRONG with lies about relationships and connecting with people. But let me answer your overall question and point out the many errors you're struggling within your description. Please be patient with me as I have to address and write a lot, but bear with me and don't be so quick to reply or type until I am done to avoid confusion. I ask respectfully of you. :)

Regarding treat us like s***. Just to debunk the myth right now. WE HATE IT! Nobody in their right minds wants to be treated like that. EVER! Not even the ones who are snots and you know what, want to be treated that way. Point blink. Plain and SIMPLE. Got it? Now you may disagree and say "But I have seen plenty of girls do this after I have done it and the flock right to me! I have seen players act like pricks and girls hop in bed with them. So what's the deal!" I will tell you what the deal is. Ever heard of attachment style theory? If not, here is a good video to look at.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOowWxOXCg

[btbc92]

You can also look it up and read an article or blog page at your own time for more in-depth answers and descriptions. I will assume you watched the vid. The overall premise is that unless one has a secure attachment style many people fall into categories OTHER than secure. Secure people KNOWS to stay away from bad people. In this case, men. If you treat them like s***, in your own admission, they will AVOID YOU AT ALL COST! They will not TOLERATE it! Why? Because they were RAISED to have respect for others, to have respect for self AND to be treated with respect in RETURN. They will not look for you. The ones who are not secure will have either a fight or mind over heart over body VS. just doing the opposite they should NOT DO: Chase after and end up in bed with you. Dreaming a person is abusive, it's manipulative and it's not how you show love. It's NOT love. Some know its not love, but their desperate for any man, it's all they have. It's ALL they know. Unless they are the rebellious type, and NO it is NOT a PHASE, its a CHOICE. They never really asked to be used. And just because the relent, it is still no excuse to do it. At the same time, you lack LOVE for yourself truly and within yourself. When you do what you are doing, it is a sign of self-hatred. Not self-love. You just became selfish as a man. And now you are realizing you're hurting yourself and these women.

[btbc92]

That's #1.

#2: Women do NOT want MONEY! Yes, while it is true that we love to spend, enjoy things, buy things to keep, etc. Remember that not everybody is materialistic and not every woman is after you money, let alone for bad reasons. God never designed women to work behind her means. That's why we have gender roles for good reasons, as LONG as it wasn't demeaning. But there are GOOD reasons a woman needs a man with money. REMEMBER, Men no longer have an obligation to make a woman's decision:

1. To by a home/Mortgage <-- EXPENSIVE. Especially with high interest and property tax! Just telling you as I live in a home and took real estate.
2. To raise and have Children <-- Let me correct another myth. Children are not items. They're NOT EXPENSIVE. For eons, many families survived to raise children with little or NO income. BUT, because the world and gov tax us like crazy, raise up the rent, food, education, insurance, doc visits, meds, etc like crazy. We have to rationally budget even more. Babies cannot raise or take care of themselves. Children may be resilient and face impossible odds. But we all know that we need love, care, affection, and attention too. And if you have a love and care for children. You would want what is best for them too, no? Pick a woman who has the same desires and mature mindset. Not a woman who wants to Jet setting all around the world, expect YOU to pay for everything and DOESN'T CONTRIBUTE!

[btbc92]

3. Things you both want. I don't think I have to explain this one to you. But let's face it, we ALL want a little something right? As much as I love my anime and video games, I know that my money needs to be on more practical things like with 1 and 2. But there is also nothing wrong with enjoying a little something. And vocations and emergency expenses are just as important. Mainly emergency expenses/savings. I know for a fact that I wished I had more time spent with my family. But money was always an issue. I never even went bowling or Disneyland or even 6 flags. :(

#4. Being Good Looking doesn't cut it for everybody. Look, everybody will tell you that physical looks matter. And that sexual attraction is important, sexual compatibility this and that, and it's okay to lust and want. But what does all of that really MEAN? Again, especially in some countries. Most pagan nations believe in eros: sex, and worshiped the human body and flesh and form. Unless you never took Philophosy classes, I don't think I also need to explain about the debates between what is morals, and all of those 'questioning the human condiction/existence' and IS THERE A GOD/IS HE DEAD? nonsense. But again, it all ties in and relates to everything and shapes our society's views today. It's because of their sexual promiscuous society that now we are suffering even worse off than they did. And they were mostly killed off and wiped off the face of the earth. But that spirit still lingers and affects us today. God's views and desire for us is that we live and lead in the spirit and not the flesh. The flesh wants to murder, steal, rape, and destroy. It wants to feel pleasure, it wants to do bad. It wants it. But what we choose to do with our flesh and the mindset we have and personal desire will be judged and count more in his eyes and the eyes of others. That's why we have ethics and why we have laws. And why our choices have consequences, good or bad.

[btbc92]

The point being is, unless you want to continue being used as a dog and treated like a dog, you have to learn to put away those thoughts that lusting, looks and fleshy desires matter more than the state of the heart. And I know you have a heart and desire change.

Your attracted to a bad woman because:

1. Through pornography [And I KNOW you watch it], masturbating, and being influences and being around that filth, now all you know is women like that so you had conditioned yourself into wanting that. Just like with attachment styles, that is ALL YOU KNOW. And it is not good. Now when it comes to a good woman, not only are you going to have a love/hate relationship with her, you would be hurting her on account of your sexual and personal choices. If you say you hate being a manwhore, CHANGE! It is a simple as asking God for forgiveness, asking these women you hurt for forgiveness, but most importantly FORGIVING YOUR SELF. That's the most important thing you have to do for YOUR sake and happiness. Understand that you are human, we're all sinners and make mistakes. Even murderers are human being most of the time, and make mistakes, and turn their life around and live better lives but with some difficulties, right? If some of them can win their freedom and change regardless if anybody else forgives or not, why can't you do the same? Having the right attitude and mindset will get you far. BUT again, you must have wisdom to know what you're doing, and getting into. You have to make a LOT OF CHANGES if you expect things to get better. We can't change you for you or do the work for you. You decide how much you want it. But you at the end of the day have to apply it to your life.

[Bribree18]

Every woman is different. In a man, I seek a partner. An equal. Someone who doesn't treat me like I am a child that needs affection and caring for 24/7, but loves me as a whole and appreciates who I am. That is what I seek. Someone who I can laugh with - who has the same humor. Someone willing to go on random adventures with me, cuddle with me, is willing to work on becoming us. I have bad days, someone who can live through those without a problem. Someone willing to watch what I want or to teach me new things. Someone who is not all about sex, or reminds me about sexual stuff 24/7. That is what it is about for me. I, however, am not all women. All women have different ideals for a man. I seek an equal, some seek a protector, others a provider. Be the man you want to be, the best version of yourself... the most you can offer a woman is your best self and good communication (as in honesty). Never fake who you are, never try and be someone else. No woman is worth it if you aren't true to yourself. Love who you are. Treat everyone with respect. You will find your person.

[theblackdog]

god bless you you seem to have a good idea on what a healthy relationship looks like i came from a very abusive house and my parents never new how to love each other properly

[CaptainSmartass]

I've been told that chicks dig a funny dude.

Simples...

[Primrose21]

I dont get the "yet I'm only attracted to bad women".
You mean u only like bad women or only this type of women get attracted with you?

[theblackdog]

i think because i have a crazy bad mom, maybe because my mom is a psycho she pulls knives on me calls the cops for control over me. i feel that that is all i know and i tend to attract these bad women.

[Primrose21]

Maybe your lifestyle also would shooo "good women". Watch whats wrong with your lifestyle and behaviors that can be a turn off for these good girls and turn on for bad girls.

[devilish-cutie]

we are all people with different preferences
the thing is that you just have to be lucky to meet a woman that likes you for you, and that you also like back! talking about impossible!

[leahzrc]

Everybody has different preferences