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Because as humans, no one likes or wants to be rejected.
As a disclaimer, logically I know there's more to being rejected than looks, status, religion, etc. As a matter of fact, I'd probably respect someone more if they didn't waste my time or give me false hope, and just say "why" I'm not their type. Will I like hearing it? No. But at least I'll know I need to move on.
My problem is HOW people reject you more than anything!
Rather than come out and say, "I'm not attracted to you romantically," people make up excuses, ghost you, play games (pretend like they're interested when they're really not), use you for sex and/or attention, use you until someone they want comes along...
Want me to keep going? Because I can...
All because people don't truly reject people anymore because they don't want to hurt your feelings... but they still wind up doing so because they're not being upfront. Hence you're left confused, hurt, and tired of dealing with people and dating.
That's why people hate rejection: we make it too hard and painful on others.
@exitseven not funny and never was.
@Cynicaldreamer
Yeah, I definitely agree with this. Some people go to elaborate lengths thinking they are making the rejection easier, but are truly making it much worse.
@spartan55 I'm going go straight out tell you my beliefs on my dating profile
Or sometimes they don't KNOW what they want but they know they want you RIGHT NOW yet here you are looking for a long term, when they just want a short-term!
They don't know what they want, but at least they have someone for now! RUDE!
Ex did this and that is why I know. He'd tell me all these FLOWERY nothings and promises but yet, his actions a lot of the time spoke NARCISSIST/SOCIOPATH!
I feel in the end, he couldn't TELL me verbally that it wasn't going to work out so he became "cruel to be kind" and started acting like a real asshole/jerk to me instead of just be straight up with me! He assumed that I couldn't deal with it! .. Either that, or he was just a real A-hole and I picked badly! Just my luck!
Okay, are you seriously asking why people get their feelings hurt over rejection?
Because sometimes it can be extremely disappointing and even painful or hurtful. It really depends on the situation, circumstances and the why. I for one have been rejected on several times... and maybe 1 out of 10 do I get upset about. But it never feels good.
So, like your STD example, in general I would agree with you... but if I really like someone it would all depend on the situation and what happened. Maybe her husband cheated on here and she did not know, and he gave it to her. I mean honestly that could not be her fault, but she is cured not and it not an issue. Sure, if something like herpes, that can't be cured then yeah, it's a bummer. But say it was gonorrhea, that can be cured and if she was cured then it's not a problem.
So, for you just reject people off hand with blanket statements like STDs is closed minded and hurtful.
I had women reject me because I was on month 14 of what was a 16-month divorce process. They themselve were divorced, and rejected me because I was not technically divorced, then acted sad about it because they really liked me.
I got upset about it, because don't sit there and tell me how much you liked me, but then reject me over not being 100% divorced yet... when yourself went through a divorce. It's hypocritical.
Some people are just closed-minded jerks, shit happens to other people that is outside of their control, and then to be held responsible for some that happened to you outside of your control, instead of something that you did on purpose... well, its bullshit to me.
Our brains are wired to protect us from wild animals thousands of years ago. It just hasn't caught up yet to our evolution in saying that approaching someone and saying hello to another human is not the same as a wild Tiger lol So we get nervous and feel bad when they don't like us.
It's "an std" by the way.
And for some people, it's hard not to take it personally obviously. There's always an element of an attack on your self worth/self esteem. Heck, even a job rejection is hard to deal with!
However, I agree with you. There's definitely a reason why break ups happen, and it can't always be one person's fault or both. Sometimes, wrong timing, there's SO MANY reasons and it can't always be personal. People just fail to understand it at times because it also means no more chance (especially if you're not going to get back together anymore in the future), to procreate with that person's specific genes. Or if you LOVED them, and got used to them, it's something you have to get used to (not being with the person anymore). People, as I've read, are LOSS AVERSE. It is PAINFUL for them.
I learned that sometimes break ups are a good thing and not really something to cry over. Learned it the hard way though unfortunately/fortunately.
Opinion
24Opinion
People ask this question a lot and it's the same answer. Nobody likes rejection cause everyone wants to be accepted and love. Humans are social beings and when we are turned away from our own be it romantically, platonically, etc. It makes us feel unworthy. Also I think our dislike of rejection comes from God just like all our other emotions. Now we know how the Lord feels when He's happy, sad, and rejected.
They take it as a personal insult, and it hurts their ego - they feel they aren't "good enough". Even mature people have a hard time processing and accepting rejection.
Recently a very good friend of mine got spurned by a man of whom she was exposing his works in her art gallery - and she doubled her commission on him, allegedly because of tax reasons, in reality because she wanted to spite him.
Because it's highly personal, or at least that's how we perceive it. When a person rejects you they're essentially saying "you're not good enough for me". But the problem is it's really NOT personal when you think about it. Even if someone rejects you, who made thier judgement the authority on anything?🤣 Many times we OURSELVES for other people's hang ups. This why I'll tell anyone if someone rejects you just smile and say OK. Because if you're a good person. And they're not smart enough to see that? Then they just dud you a favor by rejecting you. The left you free to pursue someone who can fully appreciate your awesomeness.
We blame ourselves for other people's hangs ups*
Because after a while (after enough harsh rejections and utter lack of attention) you feel like you’ll never be good enough. I’m 27 and have never had a woman interested in me. At 25 I essentially concluded that I’m unloveable, so I stopped putting myself out there. I’ve been content ever since, and likely won’t try again unless someone initiated first.
Because rejection means that even though you just took a huge risk and really tried your best to look good and attractive... only to be told no sorry your no where near my type... that's just soul crushing and makes you feel like you'll never be good enough
Do you know the body responds to rejection like physical pain. It doesn’t feel good. Your rejected= am I not good enough, am I flawed, inferior to those they do accept. It feels terrible.
I agree
Not that I would know lol but I assume it's to do with ego. It's actually not hard to understand. Who doesn't want to be considered valuable or a keeper.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
@cth2188 Rejection is so much more difficult for women simply because they're not used to it. Any man that has become successful has overcome rejection several times that just a part of manhood. For women it's more difficult because for the most part society Shields them from the truth and when it hits them they aren't emotionally able to handle it.
To be clear your saying unsuccessful men don’t experience rejection? Seems like it’s more likely for unsuccessful men. Furthermore it seems your saying anyone that’s never been rejected is unsuccessful. What is success?
But I agree with the shielding women part. They definitely get hit harder because they never had to deal with reality.
@VanillaSalt No, that was never written by me, so I can't speak to something that you just made up.
All men face rejection, however successful men learn how to overcome it. Success is a metric that you have to define for yourself, however you will find that any man that has reached success, has faced rejection. If you don't beleive me, name a champion in any sport that hasn't faced rejection or failure at some point in their career?
Women cannot handle rejection at all, which is one of the reasons why men typically approach women. that's also why you see so many questions on GAG about women worried about their boyfriend's cheating, because the thought that a man would choose another women over you triggers a lot of women's insecurities.
@Vegasrunner You were the one that used the word successful. In order to understand the main point to your whole argument we need to understand your idea of “successful” otherwise it’s no different than you inserting an arbitrary word in and expecting us to understand your line of reasoning…
@VanillaSalt You're making the mistake of thinking that your confusion is a result of my message. You're creating a completely different statement out of then air. If you're unable to comprehend that straightforward staement it stands to reason you'll struggle with others. The fact that you don't have a metric for success, is a reflection on you not me, as most intelegent people understand what the word success means and have a way to define it. My original statement simply implys that any man that has had success, has overcome rejection. The reader can then insert their own metric and come to their own conclusion. If you don't have a personal metric of success, then perhaps this conversation is a bit over your head, as I have to write w/ the assumption that the reader has the basic understanding of adult terms. If not I would have to break down every word in the sentence because there is no logical way of me knowing what words you are ignorant of.
@Vegasrunner “success is a metric you have to define yourself”… and yet unable to define success after making a statement about the success of others. You’re an idiot and I’m tired of talking to someone that thinks stringing together a few intelligent sounding statements makes them intelligent. You can’t even define the basis of success you payed about…
@VanillaSalt Again you're kinda making random false conclusions based on your limited knowledge. Remember you tagged me no one forced to. I can't speak to statements I didn't make. The word "success" has a dictionary definition. If you need someome to define the word for you then perhaps you shouldn't be involved in that conversation.
For me personally I don't exactly get upset, just hurt.
I have way too much anxiety and self esteem issues so even if the person clearly lays out why they rejected me, my intrusive thoughts will convince me that it's actually because I'm worthless and there's something fundemnetally wrong with me.
So I just don't ask people out at all to save myself the internal mental war.
Because if the 20% 80% rule really apply we really have a very big problem and an unsustainable society we are in some serious trouble and I'm going to leave it right here because plenty of fine people here have left their opinions.
I think it usually comes down to a lack of options for those that get all pissed off about it. A normal person responds with "oh well, next!" but someone that's put way too much hope in a thing suddenly hitting failure is going to be like "WTF?, Why?"
There is no real reason to be pissed off... sometimes people just don't like you. At least they weren't fake and dragged it out for 6 months and got it over with. That situation is worse in my opinion.
Because it sucks. It's a connection you're hoping to have with someone who has decided that they don't want to have a connection with you.
Probably because it hurts their feeling that people don't like them and they think it is something wrong with them.
They seeen has personal insults and yet get reject because of some red flags threy have. Not all people gojg to like you. Just take like pieces of cake or just move on to someone else.
Because they’re probably on a streak of rejection and the person just rejects them without any regard for them. That can be a reason. Is the question really why someone would dare have the audacity to feel hurt after rejection? Because this seems like a callous question.
It sounds callous because you said you’re straightforward about rejecting people, meaning you don’t care about how they react. You’re just annoyed people get upset about it instead of just being cold in return like you.
I don’t see why you’re getting so upset. I’m just being straightforward.
Why do people get so upset about being straightforward?
Clearly I read your post multiple times including your responses to others’ valid replies. You stonewalled every single person who said you’re probably being too blunt with these people that you easily reject. You told them they didn’t understand the post like they’re children. Then you said, obnoxiously, that you’re just blunt and straightforward implying people just can’t handle your honesty. I just treated you the same way in advance and I knew my reply would get under your skin, which four replies later, you confirmed.
I understood exactly what your question is and I know exactly what kind of person you are.
That part I agree with.
For some it goes straight to their egos.. For others they're not used to taking no for answer. That's what I think of it anyways.
That's the other elephant in the room.
Rejection sucks when its all you ever experience 😪
That's why whoever comes up with the companion robot it's going to make billions with that said if I remember correctly there's a saying about this in the Bible strange flesh and does that count?
@Cuminginside anyone I find who's a good match for me is already taken so I'll take the robots.
Yeah take the robots 🤖 and get what they have transmitted to you @Juxtapose
@Juxtapose yep My point exactly, and the beat goes on. I always thought strange flesh was a reference to animals or aliens now I see, flesh robots. Yep and here we go.
Isn't there a theory going around that HIV is passing around with the vaccinated?
The level of investment between men and women isn’t equal. Furthermore today women like to ghost rather then giving you an answer. I fucking hate ghosting.
Kewl so you can both put forth half assed effort?
Because rejection is a hard thing. It’s hard to reject someone and it’s hard to accept rejection. Not everyone has the same reactions.
Because you just told them their genetics aren't worth carrying on to Future generations. And it takes a whole lot of courage to walk up to someone just to get rejected most of the time.
Well my approach a woman I like I don't think to myself she has AIDS or she has a mental case or is any problems I do think she's sexually attractive that's my first step in the door but my next thought is who is she really what is she into her hobbies what was her past like what's her current like what's your future like these are all determining factors I calculate whether or not I want to keep talking to her.
You maybe to guard. Sounds like you should go to a sperm bank.
Some people have high hopes or give themselves false hope unknowingly the person they want doesn't want them.
I don't get upset. You just feel dejected over and over again
Perhaps they devoted a lot of time and energy to a person and were extremely disappointed.
Rejection is a loss of hope. People get upset or disappointed with hope loss.
it all comes down to people's egos They can be rich, be a 10 in the looks category or have whatever materialistic thing known to human kind but if don't have basic conversation skills or sense of humor which is a HUGE deal breaker to me
Well it hurts and if it happens all the time people can become bitter
It's upsetting when you're rejected but it comes from a lack of self confidence and assurance
Because they believed they had a chance.
Unable to process the right feelings
They are buzdil
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