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I’ve got a man on here who keeps bitching about the fact that I rejected him and I’ve noticed that men in general that I’ve met, seem to take rejection harder than women do and it stumps me as to why. Why is that?
Mature adults (both men and woman) can handle tactful rejection. But we are also told we aren’t supposed to take rude rejection personally and it’s the other person’s loss and so forth. But if if happens often people do start to get jaded.
So I have to ask how did you reject this guy? If said something along the lines of “thank you but tbh I am not interested” then he should take that in stride. If really did respectfully reject him then it’s a him problem not a you problem.
But I’m noticing fewer and fewer women nowadays don’t put the mental effort and respect into rejecting men the right way. They are ghosting, asking men “can’t we just be friends” (huge insult after he put a lot of effort into dating you), playing dumb, giving men shitty insulting hints they aren’t interested (like asking him for “advice” about other guys they like), etc.
I remember a few years ago I asked a girl who met through work (who recently for laid off) if she like to meet up for a drink. I was going to give her advice on where to go next with work but there was a hint in there I was interested. I talked to her quite a bit earlier and we both smiled while doing. She responded positively when I texted her
She rescheduled first meeting time which was fine. But then I went down to the place at the time we were supposed to meet up at and 20 mins passed. She then sent me a text saying “oh I’m so sorry I forgot”. Then I was pissed. Really pissed. I took time getting myself ready and looking good. I spent 30 bucks (60 round trip) on an Uber and went out of my nothing.
Yes she was a flake and it’s no wonder she lost her job. But that wasn’t no way my first incident with flaky women in recent years. More and more women (and some men) just “indulge” whatever emotion they have in the moment when it comes to romantically rejecting men nowadays. There is a lot less respect. Women think likeability = respect and they are not the same thing.
Anyway not saying you did that to that guy (hopefully). But men can get raw around the edges when it comes to that bs.
"But I’m noticing fewer and fewer women nowadays don’t put the mental effort and respect into rejecting men the right way." Like y'all have ever cared about doing anything for women the right way.
A firm no is not a rude rejection. You don't have to be coddled with filler words. "I'm sorry to hurt your feelings, but I want you to know that I'm grateful that you noticed me and wanted to date me..." bullshit. All the effort he took into asking our? Oh my God, all the HARD WORK and bridge crossing and mountain climbing it took you, poor boy.
Maybe stop telling women to reject in a better way and start telling men to handle rejection the better way. Women are literally getting murdered for saying no out there.
@CubsterShura "Women are literally getting murdered for saying no out there." No women are not.. Stop the hyperbolic language... Some women get murdered by crazy guys, but plenty of women rudely reject guys all the time and the guys may walk away mad, but walk away regardless.. In fact I would say men get rejected far more than women and probably take it with grace too..
@Joshydavid25 exactly. So fed up with the modern woman’s delusional take on how most men act. They always take anecdotal examples as an excuse to act shitty and disparage all men with blanket generalizations.
Yeah exactly... She is definitely giving into the feminist delusion of men as a whole.. "Most men need to be taught how not to be violent, predator demons, while some women might be bad, but most are good but flawed beings that need to be uplifted"..
If I am being so delusional and it is only a few cases of crazy guys, then explain why I see news like this every other time I refresh my feed.
apnews.com/.../uk-london-teenage-girl-stabbed-ab3237d3e2a9f6a4b2976d1d943f15c0
@CubsterShura That and don't forget their Incel martyr Eliot Rodgers: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Isla_Vista_killings
"Rodger complained of being rejected by women and envying sexually active men"
@Still-alive yeah lol I don't see women going out on a whole rampage of shooting male CEOs because they hate patriarchy
@CubsterShura Yeah there's whole movements behind men being insecure over women rejecting them or not giving them sex... so you definitely are not deluded.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Going_Their_Own_Way
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men%27s_rights_movement
www.newyorker.com/.../the-rage-of-the-incels
These guys are lol.
I'm ready to hear the usual 'simp' label lobbed at me now :P
@Still-alive @cubstershura of course you two had to take this in overdrive. I didn’t start out that way but @cubstershura escalated this of course.
I don’t like the truly violent incel morons any more than you do. But if you want to start using anecdotal examples like Eliot Rodgers. He killed four men during his rampage by the way including shooting men who were trying to STOP his rampage by the way.
But if you want to go down that rabbit hole then I can give you a whole list of metoo false accusers who destroyed mens lives and careers and suffer NO legal repercussions.
But before we go down that rabbit hole I will say this with confidence. Every generation of people has good and bad people. There were Cersei Lannister types when it came to female sociopaths hundreds of yeses ago. But modern feminism is brainwashing women into thinking that their emotions are “their truth”. It’s pervasive and it’s making women embrace the shitty negative emotional impulses of “when in doubt it’s fine to disrespect”. It is NOT disrespectful to just say “thank but I’m not interested”. But the earlier list of female behavior I provided is becoming more commonplace in our culture.
There are long term ramifications to this bullshit. It not only harms men but it ultimately harms women. Men are not going to keep sticking their necks out of women don’t respect the position they are in. They won’t take chances.
It’s no surprise that single hood rates are skyrocketing. That’s not good for society. Not good either gender. But it’s a dog eat dog world right? Zero sum game. If someone screws you then you are completely justified to screw over an unrelated person to “get even” in society, right?
"I don’t like the truly violent incel morons any more than you do. But if you want to start using anecdotal examples like Eliot Rodgers. He killed four men during his rampage by the way including shooting men who were trying to STOP his rampage by the way. "
Thats good you don't like them... so don't go on to downplay the violence. Eliot rodgers was highly motivated by his hatred for women rejecting him and not only that he is heralded as a hero in many incel circles. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43892189
So clearly there are lots and lots of sad frustrated men out there that will take up violence against women for daring to say no to them. So how on earth can you blame girls for not taking rejection well when people like rodger and those h inspires will literally go on mass murdering rampages against them?
Women have every reason to fear violent repercussions just for rejecting men.
You can probably bring up false metoo accusers but you will not find as many of them as you will men killing and/or raping women. the evidence is overwhelming.
The rest of your tirade there is just the usual anti-feminist b. s. ill not bother with. sorry.
Look dude open your eyes and see where @CubsterShura is coming from before you react like you just did. I'll grant you one inch there and that is i do agree men of our age are a bit lost. we have been led astray... but imho its not because of feminism its toxic masculinity. its men (some women too but mostly men) telling us to bottle up our emotions in a very unhealthy way. telling us we are weak for letting out our emotions once in awhile. I sympathize in that regard.
but rather than blame women for all this just take a step back listen to what women are complaining about and then try to change. I did... and its working out
"I can give you a whole list of metoo false accusers who destroyed mens lives and careers and suffer NO legal repercussions."
Very cute anon. A guy who was broadcasted by the Trump Administration 5 years ago as a victim of MeToo movement and his accusers saying that they "feared for their lives" recently got arrested for murder of his girlfriend.
themessenger.com/.../joseph-roberts-law-student-accused-beheading-girlfriend-touted-victim-metoo-trump-administration
Me stating out the reality is not "escalation". Men going out their way to destroy women's lives because they can't handle women giving themselves out to them on a silver platter are the ones escalating things.
But sure dude, but still women are the ones who can't handle rejection cuz flaky or whatever. You're alive and well to be able to bitch about her online whereas most women facing violence because they dared to say no are not even in the position to speak out.
@Still-alive @CubsterShura You guys can cherry pick stories of certain events all you want.. If there was an epidemic of men acting out on women for saying no I would see women scared everywhere.. I can sympathize with women not always feeling safe.. But it is delusional to thing that most men will act out when a woman says no, when women say no all the time and not always in the most friendly ways.. I've seen it for myself.. Internet Incels don't represent the general male population.. Just like man hating feminist, who say that all men should be sterilized, doesn't represent feminist or the female population in general..
@Joshydavid25 "But it is delusional to thing that most men will act out when a woman says no,"
And im not saying it happens 'all the time' im saying there is always a risk and way more than if a man says no to a woman. there's numbers that back it up too. so what i am saying is women do have reason to have this fear when rejecting a guy. there's always that 'what if' in the back of their minds.
@Still-alive One thing about Elliott Rodgers that people tend not to mention is that most of the people he killed were men.. Not women.. You know it was when they say "people" instead of any specific sex.. Elliott Rodgers was an Incels, but he seemed angry at the world and not just women.. Also the analysis you posted seems pretty bias and not so neutral at all.. The whole point was for them to make it a point that "toxic masculinity" exist and through rejection violence..
I agree that there is a risk of violence for saying no, just the same as there is a risk of me getting robbed or shot walking the streets at night.. But that speaks more to the fact that this world is full of danger for everyone..
@Joshydavid25 ". Elliott Rodgers was an Incels, but he seemed angry at the world and not just women"
no it was aimed at women. stop gaslighting dude. regardless of who he actually killed he wanted to kill women specifically. and there's a reason the incel community heralds him as their hero. if you try to deny this you are just willfully ignorant or have an agenda.
"But that speaks more to the fact that this world is full of danger for everyone.. "
No it doesn't it speaks about how the world is just not very safe for women as a whole there's date to back all it up. i take it you didn't bother to check out the sources i provided. thats telling. you just don't like being rejected all the time.. just admit it. its ok now no one likes being rejected... but instead of pointing the finger at women as a whole point it back towards yourself and maybe just maybe you are partly the reason it keeps happening.
@Still-alive I'm not gaslighting.. I'm going based off the fact that he killed mostly men and not women.. I think he even killwd both his roommates... Who were male might I add.. And his last recorded words were “This is it. In one hour I will have my revenge on this cruel world. I HATE YOU ALLLL! DIE.” He was being indiscriminate on his rampage.. So it doesn't seem like a man who only wanted to kill women like the story is being told.
No it speaks to the dangers of the world as a whole.. People act like women are the only ones who are at risk for anything.. And i actually did check your sources that's why I said what I said.. They were bias.. And nobody likes being reject my guy.. But this isn't about me. I've been rejected and I'm fine, I don't pin any rejection on women as a whole because that's silly.. Also, I've gotten enough attention from women to where I'm good my guy.. 😏👉..
@Joshydavid25 men are not the only ones at risk they are just MORE at risk and there is data to back it up. Do YOU got data to back up that men fear being attacked by women for rejecting them? lets see it if so.
I guess the manifesto Eliot rodgers wrote or where he specifically called out women for rejecting him and this is why he has to kill people. " It's not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. It's an injustice, a crime, because... I don't know what you don't see in me. I'm the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman"
Address that if you want to continue this discussion in good faith. if you can't then well yeah you do have an agenda. you can't ignore this stuff and say 'both sexes have it just as bad' after reading this.
@Still-alive Women reject men much more than men reject women so naturally there would be more data on violent rejection attacks.. But there's a lot of things to consider like how much of a percentage of women does this actually happen to, is it close to one of the main causes of death for women? Cause that's what y'all make it sound like.. In that analysis you showed me, there wasn't any numbers data, just the author analysing 40 violent reactions from rejections to define "toxic masculinity"..
Yeah but he didn't specifically murder women now did he? That's the whole point.. In fact he rehearsed murdering his roommates, whom were guys.. His manifesto just means that it was the contributing factor to his rampage but that doesn't prove it was the main factor..
Also I think you are projecting.. It seems that because I disagree with you I must have an agenda..
@Joshydavid25 I'm not gonna continue this conversation any further until you provide sources saying men fear women attacking them for rejecting them. until you do you then yes i will rest on thinking you have an agenda. you likely fall into the incel/mgtow camps and have a vendetta against the women for overlooking you.
I literally provided part of the manifesto where rodgers specifically calls out women rejecting him for his impetus. you cannot seem to grasp that.
Can you also explain why incels think of him as a hero? i bet you can't explain away that one.
Rodgers is only one prominent example anyways. there's more out there. just a quick google search brings up quite a few other examples. like the guy ramming his van into people: "The attack is characterized as misogynist terrorism because it was motivated by revenge for perceived sexual and social rejection by women. At the time of his arrest, the perpetrator described himself as an incel to the police and in prior social media postings, and described the attack as the continuation of an "incel rebellion", started by the late Elliot Rodger."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_Toronto_van_attack
toronto.ctvnews.ca/...-s-lawyer-confirms-1.4869252
anyways. produce evidence that of women committing violence against men for rejecting them until then i will let this conversation die.
@Still-alive "I'm not gonna continue this conversation any further until you provide sources saying men fear women attacking them for rejecting them. until you do you then yes i will rest on thinking you have an agenda."
Why would I provide evidence of something I never claimed Sir.. There are far more things to worry about than that.. I don't have any agenda I just don't care for the "most men are insecure evil beings" narrative being perpetuated here.. Also, I'm not an Incelsor MGTOW.. I get attention from women thank you very much.. 😏👉..
I grasped it just fine, I even admitted and called Elliot and Incel.. Never said he wasn't.. I just said that there could have been more to his rampage than just being rejected by women.. Especially since he killed his roommates who were male.. Stabbed one 94 times.. That's hatred right there..
I'm sure some looney Incels did consider him a hero.. Not denying that.. But I'm pretty sure most normal Incels thought he was a crazy bastard..
And yeah like I said you can point out specific examples all you want.. I never said women commit violence against men for rejection.. So you asking me to provide evidence for it is not valid in the least sir.. Have a good one..
@Joshydavid25 “ "most men are insecure evil beings" narrative being perpetuated here.”
And neither me nor @CubsterShura said this either. We are just saying there's a good reason with data to back up why women have this fear of men reacting violently for rejecting them.
@Still-alive I never said you guys said that, but that there is that type of narrative going on here.. I mean some of Cubster's first words are "well y'all don't do the same thing for women, and teach men how to handle rejection better" and her whole narrative is that "men are so insecure when rejected that they turn violent".. Also, I looked at your links and most of them were instances of violence and not this wide spread violent spring against women rejecting men like you guys made it out to be..
@Joshydavid25 I'll let Cubster speak for herself about that if she wants to.
All ill say is there's a reason incels herald elliot rodgers and people like him. in my opinion it is very indicative that saying no to a man has way more potential to turn violent then saying no to a woman.
@Still-alive "All ill say is there's a reason incels herald elliot rodgers and people like him. in my opinion it is very indicative that saying no to a man has way more potential to turn violent then saying no to a woman."
Only cause men are generally stronger... Otherwise there would be little difference.. As seen with domestic violence where women initiate it more, but most of the severe cases are also women..
I think a lot of boys from a young age are taught that their worth and value comes from the acceptance of women through media, care givers, peers, etc. I think girls are taught similarly if not the same but because of how courting is in the west I think rejection weighs a bit more on the male population.
A long time ago when early humans lived in tribes to be rejected meant eventual death and/or that your bloodline would end with you and naturally the human agenda is to reproduce. The feeling of rejection is believed to be an evolutionary tool to help prevent being ostracized from the tribe and if you can imagine what early humans were like only the biggest and strongest were the ones that reproduced. Currently because of this for men being rejection feels like a direct attack on who they are fundamentally despite human survival not being dependent on tribes anymore, at least not in the literal sense.
I genuinely believe that the world will be a much better place if we raised the next generation with the teaching that being told no is okay, being rejected is okay, and that it is not the end of the world.
Regardless of gender, people have a hard time dealing with rejection because we are taught a lot of toxic things about love from a young age. Not that anyone says it in our face but as a child you observe it in the behavior of other people, you observe it in the media, everywhere you learn about the fairytale love stories and the success of them, hence showing any kind of rejection as a failure and opening the grounds for taking it very personally. Now if you're a man who grew up believing that you need to uphold a certain image as a man, and rejection hurts that image, you will not be able to accept it. If you're a woman who grew up learning that men are all down bad so no man would reject you unless there is something gravely wrong with you, your self-esteem will hurt with a rejection.
Men can bicker about how deep down it's women who actually cannot handle rejection more than them and it is actually men who are used to always being rejected while women are coddled, but the reality says otherwise. Didn't a 15 year old girl get stabbed recently by a guy who asked her out with flowers, and he already had the knife with him planning to stab her in case she said no? All around the world women face situations like acid attacks, stabbings and even murder just for saying no. The fact that men can even think that a woman just bitching to her friends about a guy who rejected her is the worst thing one can do when women's lives are on the line just shows men's ignorance and privilege.
Because their fragile little egos can't take it. I remember when I broke up with my ex because he was treating me like shit, he was very angry. Apparently I was a whore and I must've found someone else, when in actual fact, I couldn't think of anything worse than being in another relationship. The thought of being with someone who is like him by even a smidgen put me off completely.
Opinion
24Opinion
This is a very complex issue that could stem from many things depending on the individual in question.
Depends on the person. Just block him… Seriously. I’ve dealt with crazies on here too. They’re not worth your time.
His ego is hurt. Plain and simple !
Women never stop bitching about men rejecting them. They and you just deny it and overlook it because you want to be able to continue doing it or avoid being called out for it, and avoid having to stop it. But perhaps you have been brainwashed by feminists into believing this nonsense.
I actually don’t do it. Maybe lots of people in general take it badly then. Why is that?
Honestly, I’d evaluate what’s the common denominator in these men? I know in my social circle there is more acceptance and sort of a “cool, move on” if you asked a girl out and they weren’t interested. Plenty of fish in the sea. Seems like some pretty immature men (or boys maybe) to be so invested in a single date that it would impact them so much. Rejection is simply part of being a man and asking out women. No need to get all twisted over it.
Because it's totally different for a guy 😂
Imagine a saleaman who closes 70% of the time and has more offers than they know what to do with vs a dude who closes 15% of the time and comes across not many leads.
One is affluent, content and reassured of their value regularly.
The other is poor, frustrated and questions what's wrong with them regularly.
Perhaps everyone has unrealistic expectations when they meet someone. Everyone thinks very highly of themselves, which in turn leads to thoughts that the next person that comes along will be better. So they continuously reject others.
I actually think I’m pretty humble. I ask questions to improve my understanding of others, rather than thinking I’m superior and ok yes I’ll admit I don’t just think.. I know I’m better than some people. Why settle for the fish that John West (and everyone else); rejected?
I like having discussions and I’m open minded to criticism and being challenged.
Something to think about is it not? Every person has met to be with the first person they meet with a second. Just finding someone that makes you happy and respects you, and you do the same for them, might be a worthy goal.
Voice to text didn't work so well on that last reply. Something to think about is that every person is not meant to be with the first one they meet who intrigues them.
Rejection probably wouldn't be very hard if individuals retain some self-worth, when a relationship or a date didn't work out.
I’m finding this discussion really interesting 😊. Thanks for sharing your views (all of them). That’s probably true.
I just try to shoot straight from the hip :-) you can't read into everybody's minds, so I just try to relate in the simplest manner
Men in general don't take rejection any worse than a woman would.. But because it's rejection everybody in some way has taken rejection badly at one point.. But we all evolve past it.. Some people are just hurt people and have a hard time getting past it..
Bruh 😂 I love this question. I've been rejected so many freaking times by sooooo many different people. Its gotten to the point where i just laugh when someone does. And its not just in the perspective of love. My parents rejected me, many bosses have rejected me. Dont stress about the small things like rejection y all. Happens to the best of us.
O ya know... it's like looking at the lady who's giving away free apple pies and when you ask for one, she just smiles. then someone cuts your ass and she takes the pies away.
Or a child throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get the toy they wanted
Peaple take rejection badly because they have to put them self's out there as a person to be judge. Most women won't, most men have to over time the more experience you have with rejection the more calist you because and you just dont care what peaple think. This guy probably is young and still thinks your opinion maters.
I wouldn't say how you take rejection is gender based its cultural more so. I also disagree for western cultures, women handle rejection worse than males because it happens way less often. Males are conditioned from a young age to expect rejection as a norm. You are taking a small sample size and using it as your average confirmation bias.
Rejection is hard. If you really have feelings for someone, if they reject you it crushes your ego for one thing but it also makes you think that you are worthless and life will always suck.
Either because they still trying to make it work, or because they butt hurt cause they think the dumper is beneath them and they are supposed to be the one to reject them
Because rejections bring them down to floor of reality.
They're immature. No one likes to deal with rejection but the best way to deal with it is to move on and never talk or think about it again.
I think anyone crying about getting rejected on an online site is insane
I don't get it. Fragile egos are the
main culprit... both men and women do this.
Men get rejected more often. And still they're expected to make a move.
Spare me. Women don't have to deal with rejection to nearly the extent men do.
Well, maybe not. They still get hurt and disappointed by losers and idiots though.
Men also get hurt and disappointed by losers and idiots, but we also are the ones who have to take the initiative and risk rejection on top of it, something women have no concenpt of. When you consider that, it seems silly for women to complain about their lot, doesn't it?
OH... I PROMISE YOU NO ONE TAKES IT WORSE THEN ME
Really? Why do you take it so personally?
Why would you?
Being friendly online you might think you would get better results? People find a reason to reject you overnight. Some people take it personally I don't
The guys I reject seem to take it well and respectful towards me. I think it depends on how you reject the guy. How are you rejecting them. But I also think it depends on where you meet these guys. Some cities are full of weirdos.
His problem is he thought he can make people fall in love
I don't know if that's true. I've seen some women take rejection pretty damn bad.
It is the male ego. It is as fragile as an egg. Once broken, it does not mend well.
probably because they are not use to getting rejected
They are more insecure than girls?
you’re 34 and don’t understand this? Really?
*men and because they are desperate and annoying
Big egos.
Fragile personality
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