Why do people think there is something wrong with them when they get rejected?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

You're never going to appeal to everybody. People have preferences. So if you get rejected, it's about THEIR personal preferences and doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong with you.

Just say "Oh well" and move on.

Why would someone get so invested in someone they don't even know? Why would they be upset if a stranger didn't want to date them? It's not a reflection on them.

In dating, you are playing the odds in search of someone who is looking for someone like you. You're not going to find your perfect match unless you continue the quest.

There is a twinge of pain and disappointment when you put yourself out there, only to be turned down. It's embarrassing. But all it really means is that the person isn't right for you. So what if she's pretty. There are lots of pretty girls.

At the same time, it IS possible to improve your chances. You can learn lessons on hair and clothing styles, posture, behavior, attitudes, conversation skills, ...

aaron210419 · Accepted Answer

Men eventually get used to being rejected and those weaker minded guys tend to get hung up on it. You can't "not take it personally", it is very much personal and it's not a question of ego or entitlement either. The pain of being rejected is processed the same as physical pain in your brain except it can also be phycologicaly damaging to those who do not know how to process rejection. That being said it is on the man to find a healthy way of dealing with rejection and not blaming the other half of the population for their shortcomings. Just know if someone rejects you on something as shallow as height, occupation, etc. then you're dodging a bullet by not being with them anyway.

itsalyssaagain · Accepted Answer

No confidence or low self esteem. I’m happy enough to know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and my confidence comes from within. Yes I’ll be upset if someone rejects me but I won’t think something is wrong with me.

Labokachulaa · Accepted Answer

Because it goes straight to their egos, a lot of people equate rejection to "something's wrong with me". I feel like there also may be some sense of entitlement there.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because it’s a personal statement. They hold the other person in high regard, and that person has decided that their connection isn’t worth them investing in further, for whatever reason.

They say you shouldn’t take rejections personally, but personal is exactly what a rejection is, even if the reason has nothing to do with the person being rejected.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Because on a primal biology level a woman who rejects a man is basically saying you're genes are worthless go fuck off and die.

That and some people lack the resilience to handle repeated rejection. It takes a bit of courage to ask someone out afterall.

Loser94 · Answer

Because it's really scary and nerve wacking to work yourself up. Clean up. Dress good. Have a good positive face. All the just to ask someone out and for the to just shoot you down and say something like oh your not my type, or I have a boyfriend already, can make someone think oh well if she/he rejected me then I guess it means I'm not good enough even when I try

OddBeMe · Answer

Natural to question yourself.

Ironically psychologists show research that says choosing a mate is way more subconscious and based more on past experiences than say your potential mate’s looks. That still matters, especially at first impression. But gals have been known to date dudes like their dads, guys with chicks that treat them like their mommies do…

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Some people have a different mindset & as for me if I get reject I look at it like they did me a favor & I simply move on with my life.

Avcfhcic · Answer

Because why do you reject us? We think we aren't good enough or there's something wrong with us that the girls we like don't like me back. If I was ok, she wouldn't have rejected me right?

exitseven · Answer

The first thing people do when they get rejected is to wonder why. If it keeps happening and then you see other guys scoring it is not hard to connect the dots.

SphynxUK · Answer

I think it depends on what you tell someone. I mean, I always tell people why. If they don’t know they will try and look for a reason.

Katyalov · Answer

It’s very normal to take it personally when rejected. Nobody wants to be rejected, it’s a horrible feeling especially for those with low self worth and low self esteem.

Clairebear799 · Answer

I think it’s normal. But oh well there is others out there

Noahzaid · Answer

Because every rejection has a reason behind it.

AdithyaR · Answer

Well in my case Low self esteem, anxiety and a brain that creates an endless supply of negative thoughts.

Chthou95 · Answer

Because there could be something wrong with them? You don't meet certain criteria and the person doesn't think you're good enough so logically there's something wrong

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think that way... I think she just don't have good taste I love on to other girl.

Twalli · Answer

Why would you reject me if there's NOTHING wrong with me? If I am perfection, you should want me more than anything else.

Anonymous · Answer

They put the other person on the pedestal far too much.

kallmesagg · Answer

i’m here for the rest of the answers ! but i think it just makes u feel less than like you look me dead in the eyes and tell me no? you think i’m unattractive then.

dustybiker · Answer

They shouldn’t. People are over-sensitive anymore.

Guardian45 · Answer

Duh! Cuz they were rejected!

sheenagwapa · Answer

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Why do people think there is something wrong with them when they get rejected?

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