Does being rejected take a toll on your mental health?

[Engin12]

[Anonymous]

Depends on the following:

• how much you liked this person and much you were emotionally invested in them
• how realistic you were about your chances
• how they rejected you
• what your maturity and experience level is

I am 40 and for every girl who has accepted me to a certain extent there have been at least 5+ women who have rejected me. I have been threw 50-100+ rejections in my life (if you count all the quick ones). You grow a thick skin over time.

But in hindsight I can say that without a doubt the friéndzone was absolutely by far the most agonizing rejection I ever experienced in my life. Given I am a “nice guy” and unfortunately I encountered way too women were just way too confident with that bullshit. I slowly but surely got better at avoiding that crap.

But growing up nobody taught me how to look out for that. In fact nobody teaches young boys/men about that period. It’s not a sex/romance thing but a self respect issue. Just being aware that many women have no shame about taking advantage of men when they themselves interested for their own ends. They think they can platonically bond with a straight man the same way they can with snot it woman. That’s don’t realize how insulting that is to the man’s self esteem (if he’s interested in her).

[geonator]

It can if you have certain mindsets about it. With certain common mindsets it gives you the idea that you lack something important to attract a good person, but the problem is that most people nowadays aren't using the right criteria to decide who to date and who not to date in order to find a happy long term relationship. They expect to feel immediate butterflies, and want a long list of exact specific qualities that have nothing to do with your compatibility with them. Studies show that butterflies or lack thereof are a very poor predictor of whether or not a relationship with that person would be happy long term or not.

Why did arranged marriages work so well for centuries? Because people made the choice to make it work with the right kind of person regardless of what it felt like and whether the person had these exact physical traits, these hobbies, etc.

So if you're trying to be the best version of yourself and are controlling the controllables, remember that most people are not seeking the right kind of person. Even if you or they are a fundamentally good person that doesn't mean you would do well together in a long term relationship

[CA4444]

It depends how much you were into the person, can be devastating of course… like failure, if you put your blood sweat and tears into smth and fail of course it doesn’t feel good at all, but it may not have anything to do with you and even if it does you can learn… if it doesn’t mean much too it’s still best to avoid it repeatedly cause yeah it may erode your self confidence and it may be unnecessary it’s like applying to too many jobs without even reading the description and getting rejected over and over again

[Aerissa_Jade]

It used to, not anymore... so what if he isn't interested, I'd rather be rejected than have him waste my time and string me along trying to get nothing more than sex.

I don't usually think of a no as a big deal anymore, I used to put all my effort into asking one person and then would be devastated if he said no... but it was worse when he thought I wanted sex and nothing more and played me.

Learn from it, move on and find someone else.

[BlueScorpio]

I can but you can't let it take over your life. The more you let these people and their rejection of you take control over your life, you won't be able to move forward. Rejection isn't fun, u get it been there done that but it's enter to know that person isn't meant for you than to be being relationship with someone your incompatible with.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah it does unfortunately. But don’t be angry at someone for being honest with you and not stringing you along so you can find someone who is into uou

[coachTanthony]

It shouldn't if you just think of it this way. We can't be everyone's cup of tea nor should we. It's arrogant to think so.

[Guy13]

Sure it does. No one enjoys getting rejected although it should not immobilize another.

[Datboi65]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

A normal rejection shouldn't hurt anyone, since it's part of the process. It's usually the public humiliation/going viral that some people (mostly women tbh) would like sometimes put you through that may hurt, especially with this tiktok generation.

Is it a rare occasion? Probably. However, it remains itched in your memory. In a society where attention is becoming the main currency, do not be surprised if you get curved rudely, filmed without your consent and then go viral. However like I said, tough people are able to come out the other side and resume their daily lives.

[ur_gurl_Larissa]

oml long story but i had a crush on this one guy at youth group n i told my sister than my sister told my ex boyfriend and my ex fricken went up to him n said "my ex wants to fuck u." Dude rejected me so badly it was so humiliating cuz the whole youth knows now. I was hiding in the washroom while my ex told all the guys there that if they like me they r breaking bro codes. Now my sister and my ex won't stop making fun of me cuz i got rejected. Now I feel so insecure n not confident at all. *follow me on insta ill follow u back @butterfly_lv08

[msc545]

Being rejected or not getting something we want can be a difficult and emotionally challenging experience. It is natural to feel upset or disappointed in these situations, and it is common for people to experience a range of emotions including sadness, anger, frustration, and even self-doubt.

In some cases, being rejected may have a negative impact on mental health, especially if it leads to feelings of low self-esteem or self-worth. It is important to remember that rejection is a normal part of life, and everyone experiences it at some point. It is okay to feel upset, but it is important to try to find healthy ways to cope with and move past the rejection.

If you are struggling with feelings of rejection and it is impacting your mental health, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional or a trusted friend or family member for support. Remember that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.

[Chazmatazz269]

Not really. Not anymore. Rejection is a simple and unfortunate fact of life. When i was young i’d dwell on it and end up wondering what’s wrong with me. Now i know that it’s more likely something wrong with them. I’m a catch! Ell oh ell! You just have to be invested in finding “the one” to find that out.

[catiecatie]

I’ll admit I like this one guy I used to work with. I asked him out before I left, just for drinks nothing special and he said he was currently talking to someone. I still like him and a little part of me is hoping for him to reach out to me, but will just have to wait and see. As he didn’t say yes nor did he say no.

[lightbulb27]

It can depending upon how it makes you feel. Your feelings are based upon your perspective. You need to learn to appreciate the feedback you get and persevere in this world... or the world will bury you. the more sensitive you are, the more it can hurt... so become the master of yourself.

[jshm2]

Depends on your mentality.

Some people are fully invested in their friends and social appearance, some in their physical, some in their mental, some spiritual etc etc.

It's why some people can take rejection and tragedy better than others.

[Fireguy17]

nope not at all.
I was taught from early on that it is ok not to win all the time.
With the generations that never lose, you don't keep score, everyone gets a trophy etc, they are not prepared to lose, so they have no clue how to deal with rejection.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I always look at the bright side of things. I don’t look at it as rejection, I look at it like they did me a favor because they know they are not good enough for me.

[TaureanBull81]

Being rejected can take it's toll over time by increasing anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness however it's important to not let this take control over your life.

There's always help people can receive when it comes to mental health 🙏

[dustybiker]

It shouldn’t. People can’t control who they love. You can’t have expectations when asking initial questions. People either want to go out with you or don’t. At least they didn’t lie just to waste your time.

[Haha456]

It no longer does for me because I'm used to being rejected. At this point, I sort of expect it to happen. It really doesn't surprise me. Even if it does happen, it doesn't affect me too much cuz I'm used to it.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

If I'm feeling bad already, then, yes. Feeling like I can't do anything right then getting shot down is just a 1-2 punch.

Being rejected when I'm in a good mood doesn't have too much of an effect.

[serious]

Depends on how many times the rejection happened. Yes, if it happens more often than not then it may take a toll on mental health. However, if it happens once in a while then it is no big deal

[aaron210419]

I very much can take a toll on your mental health and causing you to doubt yourself, question who you are, and even make you feel like you aren't worthy of love. It's something that is very hard not to take personally since it is in fact personal.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

If you consider the toll that is. Otherwise you don't. It is up to you! So all is well. As you can control it.

[tzdc21]

It certainly can. Which is why you need to learn how to develop an abundance mindset. Don't put all your chips into one basket because it just might not work in your favor.

[Rossdasa]

For me it depends who it is rejecting me. If it is someone I like yes. If it is somebody I felt zero attraction to I don’t think I would care that much.

[Draco3471]

Yes of course it does in short-term it makes you feel depressed and pretty much lonely and long-term you finally say screw everybody and accept and think in your mind that you're always going to be rejected and then you just don't care anymore

[Nikki1989]

No, you learn from it, and it makes you stronger.

[MikeTheBartender]

No it's part of the game I've slept with over 200 women I'm sure I've been rejected by over 2000 in bars and clubs over 20 years

[melanieeeB]

Nope and it shouldn't be, a normal decent rejection is something good

[Labokachulaa]

It did when I was younger, but now I wouldn't care if I were in the dating scene.

[itsalyssaagain]

Not in a it affects my confidence way but in a I’m so hurt I wanted to be with that person kind of way.

[LazerBean]

If it does, you have bigger problems than getting just rejected.

[Shamalien]

Oh come on. Of course it hurts to be rejected. Imagine if your husband divorced you; said he thought there was someone better for him out there. You’re telling me you’d be fine?

[LazerBean]

You don't know the difference between being divorced by someone who said they would be with you forever and a virtual stranger telling you they don't want to go on a date with you? Thank you for making my point perfectly, you definitely have bigger problems.

[Shamalien]

Rejection is a broad term. My ex said she’s never leave me, said I was the one, that she wanted marriage and children with me. Made me so many promises. Then she left me. in my opinion the way you reacted here shows you have some problems of your own. I have no problems because I was hurt by this rejection; it is a natural response to someone breaking their promises to be with you

[LazerBean]

Actually rejection in the context used has a very widely accepted and specific meaning. You are specifically having to take it out of context to make your opinion work. You described as not a rejection, it's a breakup. And you will have to excuse my usage of facts, it's just a natural response to someone being ignorant.

[Shamalien]

You’re young so I’ll forgive your insolence. Consider reading the question again. No specific context is given; he just asks if rejection takes a toll. I can see you are very emotionally unstable so I won’t bother you anymore

[LazerBean]

And yet nobody here thinks he's talking about a job offer, nor a loan request. Because everyone here besides you has reading comprehension. Have a merry Christmas!

[Shamalien]

I don't know what I did to you to deserve this nasty treatment. Romantic rejection can be a breakup or refusal to date, and it has nothing to do with reading comprehension.

[Sasha0426]

@Shamalien I can see why your ex left you.

[Shamalien]

@Sasha0426 you’re monstrously cruel.

[LazerBean]

Lol true

[Sasha0426]

@Shamalien Eh, it was well deserved 🤷‍♀️ That’s what you get for being an asshole to LazerBean. I mean, out of all the comments who practically said the same thing, why her’s?

[Shamalien]

@Sasha0426 we are basically having an argument of the scope of the word rejection in a romantic context. I did not insult her in any way. Her comment insulted everyone who feels their mental health takes a toll after rejection. How on earth am I being an asshole? Look in a mirror lady, you and her are the ones being mean. Not sure where this is coming from or why you two are reacting this way, all I can think is that you must be very emotionally unstable to be set off by what I said

[Shamalien]

@Sasha0426 i mean jesus you’re literally stabbing me where it hurts most. Does that make you feel big and powerful? You could not have said a more cruel thing to me and you knew that. I won’t sink down to that level though. I ask that you take a good look at what you said to me and really ask yourself if that was deserved. Is what I said really so terrible that I deserve that? I’m honestly blown away by how un empathetic people can be sometimes

[Sasha0426]

See? That right there, “you must be very emotionally unstable” is what’s making you an asshole. No where did she say she was putting anyone down for being hurt by rejection. Yes, rejection hurts but you can find ways to get over it. You can’t let rejection control you like that. It’s not easy but you gotta find ways to help yourself.

[Sasha0426]

She was trying to explain to you that everyone else in the comments thought the same thing. But, you targeted her instead.

[Sasha0426]

You’re the one who insulted her by calling her emotionally unstable when YOU started this. If you can’t reap what you sow, then get the fuck out of here!

[moviedude714]

Well that says a lot coming from someone who is a member of the gender that is never expected to deal with even close to, not even a fraction or even a tenth of the amount of rejection men have always been expected to deal with

[LazerBean]

@moviedude714 My husband believes that more than any guy I know. He specifically encourages his single friends to ask girls out just so they can realize that being told "no" is the worse that can happen and isn't a big deal, and all the ones who have done so have agreed that his insight was correct. Being told no is only a problem for entitled people.

[moviedude714]

Well that says a lot when speaking of the gender that is expected to risk rejection

[LazerBean]

Well every male in my and my husband's family agrees. But we come from families where people are expected to work for what they want, which is a rarity these days.

[Sasha0426]

@moviedude714 Then start rejecting women.

[LazerBean]

Lol true, that's an easy solution

[moviedude714]

@Sasha0426 how is it possible for a man to reject a woman when women normally have never been and never will be expected to be the ones to make advances towards a man or be the ones to approach a man

[Petermorgan43]

No. It is a part of life, wether it be professional lives ie Jobs, personal, ie friends/romantic, the right person/people, or opportunities will come tour way

[grierwrange]

Yes if you think about it it’s not just relationships. If we get rejected by a company or get rejected by a school. It varies depending on how much you wanted it

[LiamJHayden]

Not on mine that I've noticed, but I really do not invest a lot of time and effort into asking a specific girl out. I wait till after we start dating to put in time and effort.

[DesiUwU]

being rejected by society, yes, but not by a boy or a girl.

[tonamimargaux]

Not really it does gives us anxiety for a while but I’m okay.

[cth96190]

Yes, if there are enough rejections during a long enough period of time.

[es20490446e]

Getting sad is not the same as losing mental health.

[lachuppacabra]

Not really. as people are saying in the comments you can't be everyones cup of tea

[AdithyaR]

Don't know about others but it definitely did to me.

[Tomisworthless]

I get bullied a lot and never receive compliments never been rejected cause I've never asked but people reject me on sight

[Anonymous]

If you let it. Applies to anything. Don’t attach expectations to things. Go with the flow.

[Matrix3003]

Yes, it’s exhausting and when that goes in a row your self-steem could be killed.

[Anonymous]

Yes it does. Hence why many men are checking out of dating. Women only find 20% of men attractive. The reason some men get relationship has to do with women needing them for survival.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

If the rejection comes from everyone family, friends, society, then yes.

[grega239]

It did until i stopped interacting with women.

Life is easier

[Anonymous]

It won't surprise me if it does, triggers the same part of the brain for physical pain as well

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's what I've heard research and studies say

[1cuteblackk]

Not really since i understand that’s, you’re either accepted or rejected.

[AsaKyo]

It most certainly does

[Akam93]

Not really I'm very use to it now.

[Sisters_Of_Time]

It does when you can't take it!

[Sparkie460]

Not for me it didn't. I just moved on.

[LimitedBenefits101]

For women yes, they won't eat for days.

[McKellar]

I would say so, yes.

[Anonymous]

It can if you allow it to man.

[Agape93]

Nope

[sassyredhead]

Yes it can

[lottiebannotie]

Of course

[Brando10222]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Yeah