Does it really hurt to get rejected or is it all in your head?

Question

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

Rejection itself? Only a little. Rejection followed by rudeness, gaslighting, slander, and harassment from her posse even after you've walked away, all while they insist you're the one with the problem?

That can lead to a lifetime of holding certain individuals in contempt, as well as a lifetime of fear that it will happen again.

"No, sorry, I'm just not feeling it, and would rather not waste both are time" usually suffices.

If this happens instead:

Her: "No..."

Him: "No? If you're sure. In that case, I'll be on my--"

Her: "What's the matter with you, asking me if I'd be interested in going anywhere with you? You some kind of sick? What other thoughts you have going on in there? How much of a creep are you?"

Him: "I said, I'll be on my way! I'm not playing whatever game you're throwing!"

Them (surrounding him): "Hey! You need some help, man!"

Him: "I asked if she wanted to see the fireworks show on Tuesday with me, that's it!"

Them: "You want her for a girlfriend, and that's concerning..."

Him: "Do I look like I want her for that reason right now? And how do you take that flying leap of logic? And why is any of this your business?"

Them: "We're just here because we can't be having you making her uncomfortable."

Him (visibly annoyed): "Irony is clearly lost on you!"

Them: "You have to respect her boundaries..."

Him: "Boundaries? I didn't violate jack squat! And why are all of you invading my bubble? You have no right to hold me here!"

Them: "We have to be sure you're not putting her in any danger."

Him: "As you're blocking my exit, after she gave me every reason to run the other way from her!!!"

Them: "Some anger management would do you some good..."

If that ever happens, be certain, real harm was done. Not only will that man face demons, even 20 years later, but the mob will endanger his reputation, threaten his job, possibly get him kicked out of school, or do worse to him in the short run before that. And he'll often be told how he is morally obligated to do nothing. By cowards who themselves know they'd lose big if he sued.

And so the original abusers slink away, while the rejected man now has to deal with real injury, real threat, imaginary additional threat, and the resentment that burns in his head for decades, with no proper outlet. Wishing he'd told them all back then what he still wishes he could scream at them, years later: "F*k all of you!"

To say that's all in someone's head, when they shredded the related paperwork around the 15th anniversary of being originally served it, is tone deaf, to say the least.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I think it's more of an ego thing.
For some people
We want that person to feel the same way that we do and when they don't
You can be embarrassed about it you can have all different types of emotions but in reality it doesn't even matter it's not that big of a deal.
If you turn it around and you reject somebody it's because of whatever reason.
The reality is is you're just not into them and it's not that big of a deal.. I have been rejected many times and I have rejected girls many times. And in the moment of rejecting somebody I feel bad because I know that they're going to feel bad or being embarrassed and I make sure.

And apologize to them for whatever reasons that I'm not into them at that moment or I like somebody else or I'm dating somebody else already. And in that moment I will hug them and tell them it has nothing to do with them it's about me and what I feel in that moment and I will hold on to them tight just to let them relax. And probably hold on a little bit tighter and longer and then be a smart-ass and say well wait a minute let me think about this a little bit longer LOL just to get them to relax and not take it so serious

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

Anytime you get rejected it is going to hurt. For whatever reason someone is saying that there is at least one thing about you that they don’t like and unless you’re desensitized to it you’re gonna feel it. And honestly that is okay. Just let yourself feel the pain, learn and grow from it, and keep living your best life

Potteplante · Accepted Answer

Depends on the circumstances.

It doesn't hurt me to get rejected from a job for example - that is just part of life or a possible romantic/platonic relationship. Being rejected as a child and later as an adult by my father - well that was hurtful and still sometimes is.

Summeroflove · Answer

Being rejected hurts anyone. But eventually you move on and find better people. Better someone reject you in friendship or romantically then string you along as if they like you. While inside they hate you and talk about you behind your back

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The pain of rejection is all self-inflicted.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Rejection hurts but at least I know and I can move on with my life.

AaronKrieger · Answer

It's really in your head unless they're a complete bitch about it, which isn't that common. It slightly hurts, but it doesn't actually hurt and for me I am happy I asked a girl out, so my mood isn't negative afterwards. It's better than just kicking the dirt and regretting shooting your shot.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

It hurts me real bad... right on my penis.

If I fumble a woman... my penis will bitch me out and not let just let it go. My big bad mean little fireman will remind me at just how bad I failed. Even after a win and I bang a hawt chick... my penis will be there, and remind me of that one time I could've banged that skinny chick with no titts as well.

The pain caused by my penis realizing I didn't get it some of that vagina.

Anonymous · Answer

Not anymore. I'm pretty numb to it. When you're young you take it personal. As you get older you understand they're just doing you a favor. Why would you want to be with someone that wasn't enthusiastic about knowing you and getting to know you better. The only thing I don't like (and I think I speak for most guys here) is the women who bait you with no real interest. I don't mind rejection. But I don't like being led on with her having the full intent of rejecting me when she gets bored. These types of women give all women a bad name.

Ninania · Answer

For me personally, when my emotions reach a certain point and get overwhelming, I experience actual physical pain as a result. Rejection doesn't always hurt, it really depends on both the person and their delivery. Common triggers for me are sudden changes, betrayal, deceit, and carelessness.
I've stayed friends with people after they rejected me, because they delivered their rejection with respect and thoughtfulness, and I've cut people out for rejecting me in a harmful way.

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes it hurts like hell. If you really have feelings for somebody and really want to be with them and all of a sudden she dumps you it is one of the worst thing that can happen.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

All in your head and ego. What's the worst that can happen, I guess, she could say yes...

inhua · Answer

no it doesn't it's the MeToo movement that can destroy your reputation

Anemone978 · Answer

When I cry it hurts.. so yeah it hurts... I am still not even over a guy I didn't even actually like.. but it hurts my self esteem and pride.. I couldn't even get an asshole to like me even as a friend :(

ShesRad80 · Answer

can make you feel bad. because its normal to internalize a lot of the times and question yourself what did i do? why wasn't i good enough? etc. but in the end its apart of life, everyone goes through it

blueonblack22 · Answer

What kind of rejection are we talking about? Someone who turns you down on a date? Or someone who leaves you for someone else after you dated them (or was married to them) for years? Context matters here.

lightbulb27 · Answer

It really hurts until you get your head right so it doesn't.

Emotional pain is like physical pain, maybe worse in some ways. It's the same brain telling the story...

Rejection is failure to get something you wanted. A flexible mind that is learning is key...

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Doesn't hurt. There's 8 billion people in the world. You don't want anything to do with me there's plenty others who do.

Billlewis · Answer

Being rejected is an important part of a guy's development, because the more often I'm rejected, the sweeter and more submissive I become.

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't know how that feels... but I am sure it sucks monkey butt, why wouldn't it? lol...

msc545 · Answer

Everything is in your head. Where else would it be? That includes the pain from rejection.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is not how you get knocked down, but how quickly you get back up again that counts,

slatyb · Answer

Everything, absolutely everything, is all in your head.

Stoner710 · Answer

Of course it hurts to get rejected that nature human emotion

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. We experience pain in the brain. No brain, no pain, no gain.

Anonymous · Answer

No actually. I've never been rejected before. I always reject the guy because we don't have anything in common or he isn't my type and they take it so well and are kind and gentlemen. I hate rejecting guys. They're always so understanding and respectful though.

Is it weird that I would find it funny and and kinda a turn on if a guy rejected me... I don't know maybe because I never experienced rejection before?

RobT312 · Answer

It is all in your head, but yeah it hurts! Never makes u feel good

pink_blah · Answer

rejection is just redirection so it doesn't really hurt 🤷‍♀️

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

It's in our head and heart which is why it hurts. You want them to like you but they don't. So it hurts.

serious · Answer

Yes, rejection will hurt for sure. No matter the gender.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Of course it hurts. That’s a silly question. But that shouldn’t deter you from trying.

SnowedIn · Answer

They're the same thing.

Christoff92 · Answer

Me. Personally can tell how women look at me. So. Don't even fellow that path.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Doesn't bother me. I prefer it to getting strung along.

Anonymous · Answer

It technically is in your head but from what I understand about the psychology of rejection, it can feel a lot like physical pain especially if done in succession.

Twalli · Answer

In my opinion it is until you don't for the first time

MaxUsefull · Answer

Rejected by who?

Anonymous · Answer

Why does it look like they have sprem coming out there eyes? 😂

Staximus · Answer

It hurts but it's all in your head hahaha

Sparkie460 · Answer

Rejection doesn't matter to me.

Minahh · Answer

It's you not knowing your worth type of thing

REX_JSWL · Answer

Rejection hurts that's a fact

Simslover92 · Answer

Rejection hurts like hell.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

You get used to it

RavVid · Answer

Mostly in your head.

Anonymous · Answer

hurts, makes want to murder her

MissBoogus · Answer

It does hurt but I’ve never experienced it

Lokiion · Answer

In your head

SeaStorm1 · Answer

is did hurt but i got over it.

Cherkez · Answer

I think it's a mental thing

hardboiledink · Answer

It hurts

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Hurts badly

Does it really hurt to get rejected or is it all in your head?

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Does it really hurt to get rejected or is it all in your head?

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