What is a good start of the conversation when you first match with someone on a dating app?

Question

What do you want the first thing they say when you match with them on a dating app or what would you say? How do you keep the conversation going and or make it interesting?

Weapon77 · Accepted Answer

First, my advice is don't use dating apps. Real life interactions are superior in every way, especially since they won't affect your self-esteem near as much negatively and in person should even INCREASE your self-esteem over time. I just got a date of Hinge recently, and I'm talking to a couple other girls. It's not THE WORST, but stuff like Tinder and Bumble sucks. Hinge is ok, and Match and E-Harmony are ok too. Just not better than meeting someone in person 90% of the time. You'd honestly be better off sliding into DM's on social media since your odds are about the same if not HIGHER since the girls can see your social media pages, who your friends are, etc.

But if you are using a dating app, you open by commenting on one of her pictures or something you found interesting in her bio. Just say what you found interesting or mention a date you could both go on related to that thing. Don't be a creep and mention her body, and don't be a simp and mention how hot she is. You can compliment her smile or eyes or something respectful, however. But you can't just chat about it forever. Direct your conversation toward getting her to agree to a SPECIFIC date at a specific place and time, and getting her phone number. None of that SC nonsense unless you get her phone nunber first and only use SC to flirt or send something funny by video. You can use your phone for that, but it is easier on SC.

Last tip will help keep the convo going, but is just good advice in general: ask her questions, and don't talk about yourself AT ALL unless she explicitly asks you a question. Make her earn learning things about you. If you offer them up, she'll lose interest unless she's desperate. You have to leave her something to discover on your first date. Try to only use texting to flirt a little before and after dates and to set up the next one. Texting her just to text her all day won't end optimally if it works very well at all. Less is more. Just don't be an ass and ghost her unless she starts stalking you or something creep.

slatyb · Accepted Answer

Do you mean in messaging or in person? I have a lot of experience dating online. Here's my advice:

1. Don't waste time messaging, calling, whatever. Establish mutual interest, then arrange a meeting. If she's unwilling to meet without a month of texting, forget it. She's too stupid to date.

2. Make the first date simple -- coffee, a drink, lunch at the most. Then if there's no chemistry it's easy to end it. If it's going well you can always go to lunch or dinner or whatever.

3. When you meet, just do the usual: "Hi, nice to meet you. How are you?"

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Keep it simple. Don't try so hard to impress people: it will actually work against you.

To make a good first impression- bring up something from their profile and mention it when you first message or chat with them. For example, if they have a picture with a pet or animal ask about it! I guarantee it will get them to talking.
Are they a gymrat? Ask about their fitness routine. They like to cook and bake? Ask what is their favorite meal to make for a date.

Or some random fact they mention in their profile. I used to do that to show that yes, I read and pay attention to them.

Once you get them chatting with you, just treat it like a regular conversation: ask why they're on there, what they're looking for, etc...

Basically it shouldn't be a forced conversation. But don't make it cliche or predictable either, because they'll lose interest.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

I've never used a dating app, because when I was dating, they weren't around/available. Some thing that I've always remembered from high school: take an interest in the other person. It's not all about you.
don't jump the gun and try to be someone you aren't, and hopefully they will follow that same pattern. That just wastes time.

kylee2437 · Answer

Well what worked for the current guy in talking to is he asked me out on a date in terms of what it seems like I’m interested in.

Guy13 · Answer

Identification so that I can see if I am talking to the person on profile.

Avicenna · Answer

One that lasts and results in a meetup

virtue2332 · Answer

I think you have to stand out a bit from everyone else to get noticed. Women get bombarded with responses. I've actually done some experiments to see and Its sad to say a photo looking over my shoulder with my back and behind exposed got more replies from women on tinder than my face profile did using similar openings. Not sure what it says about my face but my ego hopes it was that the exposed photo was enough to grab attention allowing for my message to be read. It never got reported or taken down but this was a few years ago.

Dee00_2x · Answer

Don’t use dating apps just meet women in person. I get a lot of matches and compliments but most women on dating apps only want to promote other platforms, validation or an ego boost. Some will start conversation out of boredom but overall it’s a waste of time. If you’re handsome enough you’ll maybe get a quick conversation before they ghost you tho

JPresidente · Answer

People always love to talk about themselves so be inquisitive and polite and ask them how their day is going. You're looking for an emotional connection so you want to make them at least feel at ease with you. Also, don't vomit too much about yourself. You want them to be curious about you and your habits. The more mysterious you are at first, the more interested they will likely become in you.

Mangospacho · Answer

“Are you taking any mood altering prescription medications?”

Trust me, that will help weed out the crazy ones. The ones who are clean will think it’s a joke. If someone is on the fence about their answer, casually mention there will be a mandatory drug test just to verify.

SassyAussieAddy · Answer

Resist the urge to be like "Hi, How are you?" It is so boring and it is what almost everyone starts with. You have to stand out a bit.

SphynxUK · Answer

Just say what’s on your mind at the time and go with the flow. If you can’t think of what to say or it isn’t going well, then you can safely say that the match doesn’t warrant meeting.

SnowedIn · Answer

"Glad we matched" and then follow that up with a question about something that interested them from their profile.

RavVid · Answer

I'd say if you try to be interesting you won't be. I tend to ask about the girl. Usually they mostly want to talk about themselves anyway.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

When I use this app it just sends these messages, "hi, how are you?", then, "when do we go out?", just that.

Beardedman1996 · Answer

Start small, the weather where they are, their favorite book or moving their currently into, hobbies, careers pursuits, drivers license, photo id, birth certificate, proof of residency, income and financial statements. You know small stuff lol

Illaskalotof · Answer

Dont try to impress just talk like u would talk to a stranger at first

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I say the same thing wherever anyone says hello to me anywhere…  “Hi, how are you?”

sheikalana · Answer

Ask them their day has been or simply how are they doing.

cheetocandle · Answer

Give us something fun to answer. We want to engage we don't want to say hi back and forth for 5 minutes.

Iron_Man · Answer

Just try to find out what your common interests are. I like that picture with the two cell phones.

Revvl6pro · Answer

You have to love the irony of this question.

kevypatyy7 · Answer

Identification and age then filtering because we already know why we are on the dating app

PatriceONeal · Answer

Don't use dating apps. Investing yourself into them, especially as a man, is an insane waste of time.

Jltakk · Answer

For whatever reason, people don't like being asked how they are doing. Instead, bring up literally anything in their bio and go off of that.

Guardian45 · Answer

Hi! My name is... I work in... What's your name? What do you do?

hismave · Answer

Are you up for serious relationship or u just wanna cruise. I feel like it gives one a headstart

Ryfyle · Answer

Uninstall the app, you fucking loser. Just make fuck loads of money and get shredded.

Manuel2 · Answer

Are you as sad as me. Or Is that picture really you

krin_m · Answer

Be genuinely interested and let the conversation flow naturally!

Anonymous · Answer

"Should I cum down your throat or in your ass"?

mrinalashesh007 · Answer

Probably a witty and clever statement.

Anonymous · Answer

Just don't say "hey."

clampfan101 · Answer

“How do I know you’re not a bot?” 🤣

boobliker · Answer

you look veary nice for the weather

justFriend · Answer

its can be Skype

Anonymous · Answer

Woof woof meow meow woof

In_Trance · Answer

Hello

Anonymous · Answer

Being funny

What is a good start of the conversation when you first match with someone on a dating app?

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