Guys, how many dates do you need to go on to find someone that likes you enough for a second date?

[uwotm8e]

And is there anything you did to reduce that number?

typically just 1

2-4

4-10

10+

💀💀

[churbleburble78]

I dated 20 women in 4 months in 2021... I counted 50 dates before I stopped...

Woman 1 - we just went for a walk and talked for an hour, no kiss at the end... lead to second date though! And kissing, but we both agreed no third date as she was also seeing another guy, and I'd seen another woman in-between our 1st and 2nd dates. We stayed friends and chatted for months - comparing notes on how our dating exploits were going... months later, we actually hooked up and had one-off sex too!

Woman 2 - a walk for an hour and a kiss at the end. Weeks of messaging lead to second date, and light petting in the car! Third date we had sex, we saw each other for 12 dates in two months - but it was mostly sex marathons!

Woman 3 - after it transpired that Woman 1 was juggling me and another guy and I was juggling 1 and 2, when that ended I picked up my next one to juggle - and SHE was ALSO seeing me and one other guy! As I was new to dating after 16 years, I figured that this was the new norm and went with it! Also, some of them had joint custody of their kids, just like me - so we couldn't all do each other's child-free days. Same as woman 2, saw this one for 12 dates / 2 months, but she didn't put out until date 6 or 7! We did kiss at the end of date 1, but it was a kiss goodbye on the lips, which neither of us were happy about! So I said let's kiss properly on date 2 and we did! We did also have foreplay the date before our sex date.

Women 2 and 3 ended the same weekend! Then hit a dry patch...

Woman 4 - date was terrible... she admitted she'd just come from another date, and now couldn't be bothered! Yet she showed up? We sat in her car as we were cold, she talked about herself the whole time, and when I got out to get into my car, she drove off before I could even wave goodbye! Awful rude time waster she was!

Woman 5 - date was good - we walked and talked for 3 hours and held hands. She said her birthday was coming up and asked if I could give her a birthday kiss - and she said no! Then I got the silent treatment for 5 days before she admitted there wouldn't be a second date

Woman 6 - first date was ok but no kiss - second date was 38 days later! We kissed on the lips throughout the date, but nothing lingering... when I dropped her home, she snogged me before she left. She messaged me later saying how turned on she was and sent me a photo of her in her underwear! But unfortunately neither of us could ever make a third date due to other social and family commitments. A shame; I liked her.

Woman 7 - date wasn't great - we walked and talked but it seemed she wasn't fussed about dating in general!

Woman 8 - date wasn't great - we walked and talked but there wasn't a spark. She ended up back with her ex a couple of months later anyway.

Woman 9 - date was ok - we walked and talked, held hands and ended up back at her place. After a while she told me she didn't want anything physical, ever! Not because of me but because of her. We didn't kiss.

Then with women 10, 11, 12 - I hit my best run of luck!

Woman 10 - I went to her house, we had sex, we had a second date (sex again), but then just stayed in touch as friends.

Woman 11 - I went to her house, we had sex, we didn't have a second date (her choice)

Woman 12 - we met up within hours of matching on a dating app, we went for a walk, talked, kissed at the end, she got really turned on and we went back to her house, we had sex, and a second date, but that was it. She was the worst in bed.

Then it went strange with women 13, 14, 15, - passionate kissing and petting, one second date, but lots of cold feet

Woman 13 - first date was like we were friends, we talked and got on ok. Second date, she came to my house, we kissed, we did some heavy petting, she was turned on but left and we didn't see each other again.

Woman 14 - we went out for a couple of drinks, and back to hers for lunch. We kissed passionately - but she got cold feet and sadly, we never saw each other again. A shame; I liked her.

Woman 15 - we met up on our lunch break, we walked and talked, we kissed at the end, sadly she ghosted me afterwards.

Woman 16 - we met up at a pub for a meal, we got on ok but she decided she didn't like skin contact, so it never went any further.

Woman 17 - I went to her house, we kissed passionately, I might have had a chance to sleep with her then, or another time, but I decided against it.

Woman 18 - first date was a walk, second date was a meal and a walk, she gave me a kiss on the lips goodbye but we didn't meet up again. A shame; I liked her.

Woman 19 - we met for drinks on date one and we snogged. She came to mine for dates 2, 3 and 4 - we had sex and drinks, but then we both ended it.

Woman 20 - we went for a walk on date 1, a walk on date 2 ended up in kissing. Date 3 lead to lots of sex that day AND for 5 days straight!! Then 2 days apart, 4 more days straight of sex, 6 days off sex, 2 days on, 1 day off, 2 days on of sex, and so on... we peaked at 6 days of sex, one day off, one day on and I stopped counting after that! Been together 20 months now and had sex hundreds of times

*Second dates (or more): 9 women = 45% success rate
Women dated: 20.
Kissed: 14. (70% success rate!)
Slept with 8. (40% success rate!)

Three dates or more: 5 women (25%)
Four dates or more: 4 women (20%)
12 dates or more: 3 women (15%)

*Women nos: 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, 12, 13, 19, 20

[uwotm8e]

How would you go from 0/6 in a year to at least 1?

[uwotm8e]

Of what very very rare opportunities I get. I typically lose their interest in an hour or so and can't even get them to hold eye contact. No idea why

[churbleburble78]

Confidence, perseverance, being brave/trying new things - I started off shy, but pushed through and each step gave me more/new confidence... it snowballed and the results speak for themselves!

[uwotm8e]

That's incredibly vague, and something I would say I have already exceeded expectations in... It didn't help at all

[churbleburble78]

You have to think outside the box - there is no "one-size-fits-all" answer - you have to listen to them, ask questions, find things in common - gauge what they like and build upon it. Be more positive! Confidence breeds confidence, trust me!

Share some info about one of their profiles' details - without giving away their identity - and I'll see if I can give some pointers

[uwotm8e]

I could just pm too if you're cool with it

[churbleburble78]

Ok, go for it

[uwotm8e]

Your settings block it

[churbleburble78]

I think as I'm a level 1

[churbleburble78]

Try again @uwotm8e

[Guy13]

Guys getting second dates are said to be 40%. Those who are characterized as "No Chance" are: 1. In your face non-alcoholic, 2. drama texter with capitalized letters etc, 3. one who has no knowledge of the world to share which means no couch cuddle with book or movie watching cause he useless that way, 4. too many emojis, 5. let's get married with where to live, kids and names, etc, 6. sexual limit violator including mentioning it, 7. mention Ex guy, and 9. Momma's Boy.

[NathanDavis]

none actually...

by the time we actually went out a first time, they were already into it for a more than just dating

but I go a bit differently about these things, I am not a serial dater that just finds out after dating someone

first I make sure we know each other well enough and only then, we go out and by that time, like I said... we are all in, already, lol

[MCheetah]

Typically, just one. That's enough to learn if we're compatible or not.