GUYS: How long do you wait to ask a girl on a SECOND date? :)

Question

I went on a awesome date with a guy 1 week ago, and he still hasn't called, despite him saying that he wanted to take me out on a second date. Seemed very into me, and chemistry was amazing!

How long do you guys normally wait to call?

P.S. I texted him once or twice, to see if he was okay

kanadets · Accepted Answer

I am no certified mind reader, so I can only guess... There are so many things that could be "the problem" so I'll just focus on what I think is the probable one. But first, I'll answer your question.

It depends. You see, there is some male dating logic involved here. If a girl really enjoyed the date, then if you let it sit for a little bit, then she will keep waiting, waiting, waiting, and will forget all the little mess-ups that happened during the date. She will spend the days waiting for the next date/call and will perfect him and the date in her mind. As guys say in that case, time will be working for us. The guy is supposed to call at the moment when her eagerness is at its peak. This is usually 3-7 days, depending on the girl and how the date went. As for 1-2 days... you do it in the case the girl didn't really like the date and you want to "make up" for it. You don't want to wait a long time, because she will quickly forget about you and you will lose all your chances.

In your case... I don't know. From what it seems like, I think he either thought you were too good for him and couldn't get the courage to ask you again or he is simply very busy with work and can't think about anything at the moment. I know I do go through those periods when I completely dive into the work and fall out of the "real world". Ofcourse, there is still chance he just didn't like you, or found a better date, etc,etc, but I really really doubt it.

As for advice... You really want to know why he hasn't called? Why don't you just call him and say that your previous date went amazing and you were so super excited! Be very positive about it, describe how well it went and how much you liked it. Compliment him indirect. Don't blame or hint-blame him about not asking you for a date. He might have been super busy and feels like sh*t for not living up to his own promise. He might be hating himself for not having the guts to ask you out again. You can always help him, you know. On a side note, mention when is the next time you are free and what you'd like to do (such as "Oh man.. everyone is talking about that restaurant down the street... I wonder if the food is really THAT good." or "Oh boy, I so want to see movie X, but I can't seem to find anyone to go see it!"). He must take it a subtle hint and do exactly what you want to do. The more subtle you make it sound, the more excited and willing he will be. He needs to feel like it was HIS idea to take you to THAT restaurant and THAT movie.

You know, women do a lot of thinking when it comes to these things, when the actual answer might be very simple. If you are REALLY dying to know and are willing to risk your chance ever dating this guy (since you must NEVER hint or directly accuse a guy of letting you down/not living up to his promises) you can just ask him.

I don't know where you are from, but it is exam time in most universities. So maybe he is just busy studying?

Either way, good luck!

PHILR · Accepted Answer

i'm 64 year old guy but here's my opinion

this guy was trying to play you the only reason why he said most likely all that bs was he was wanting in your bedroom with you in the bed. since this didn't seem to pan out for him it sounds like he blew you off.

let me tell you that (in my case anyways if I had a date that amazing and the girl was into it also and I knew it and saying he wanted to take you out on a second date most of it would have been settled before I left from the first. maybe the only thing not said would be what we'd do . the air of excitement and unexpected,.

you say you text twice did he respond either time I'm assumming this was within that same week you were refering to. if not a week is a bit long . if he had been a nice guy (which if he was he would have said I'll call you on or at such and such time and did exactly that. )" jerks are ones who do such things as to let girls wait exstended periods of time.

example you have a supposed friend you telll them you need a ride to such and such and you have to be there by a certain time they agree to pick you up and take you . problem is they either don't show up at all or come way to late to make your appointment. what or how would you handle that supposed friend. take that and compare it to said guy you mentioned .

being this is 7 months old post and no apparent update I'm assuming this guy never did make an apperance as said

ggazelles · Accepted Answer

I've had this happen to me on several occasions.

Here's the deal; guys this age don't know themselves very well (yet). This means that he could think that you're totally hot and have a really wonderful time with you and feel like he's ready to have a girlfriend, but once the date's over, he might begin to think about how much a relationship would tie him down and worry about his freedom and other options. He may completely freak himself out and never call you, even though you guys truly had chemistry and he thought you were great in the moment.

Unfortunately, this is the peril of dating in your twenties...guys rarely seem sure of what they want, and their needs change in an instant, which means that you are probably fantastic, but he has some soul searching he has to do on his own before he can commit to anyone.

With girls, it's all about finding the right guy, but with guys, it's all about finding the right girl at the exact right time.

My advice? Stop contacting him ASAP and perhaps he'll come crawling back in a few months. Until then, onto the next one...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You really shouldn't have texted him. Now you seem desperate. Next time, wait for him to initiate contact after a first date. You need to be a "challenge".

Fc180 · Accepted Answer

Did he call you in the meantime? It's now almost two weeks, right?

TonyMetal25 · Answer

When someone loves you, he can't wait long until he see you again, personally I chose B option, but I prefer to see her everyday without a date and the 3rd day is a date, I like being with person I love everyday and to spend time with her as much as I can even if I have to sit and only watch her, just her presence makes me feel happy and comfortable...a hug from here and a kiss from there are stronger then words & also the eyes looking at you explains everything;)

about your guy, there is something strange, have you thought that maybe it was only one night stand just for fun...what makes you sure that he will call you back or will see you again?

LukeLockehart · Answer

I'm currently in a situation similar to yours, and I kind of feel bad for the girl. I met this chick, we chatted for awhile, went to have dinner and some drinks on a Wen. and the date went really well. But I wasn't sure if I was really into her or not, so I asked her out again on Friday so two days later...

We went to a movie and hung a bit after. What's bad is, the date went really well, we had a really good time, but I just realized that I'm not romantically attracted to her, and I would prefer to be just friends with her.

Although I'm sure she thinks things are going great because we had fun together both times. In your opinion, should I tell her I'm not interested, or just stop calling her?

neardark · Answer

well at least within the next few days to at least let a person know what's going on with me ... if not to do the second date then to at least explain that I was buisy or had other things going on .. or to just keep in touch with an amazing person I just spent time with :)

Dan2287 · Answer

Well I've been single forever and almost never go on dates. In my dates in the past, I've waited over a month.

Moral of the story, you should not ever ever ever wait more than 2 weeks if you want to see the person again or have any kind of relationship. It clearly doesn't work :P..

KarKingJack · Answer

FOX. Ohhh man. That's a lej compliment. I got called Foxy once. Loved it, hahaha. Uh anyway. I don't wait, biiiitches. LOL. I don't know why anyone would.

zeeshan2 · Answer

Maybe he said the same thing to every girl he met and maybe he's a player?

This happens to me a lot. We go out and get along, but she never calls me back or texts me. Just don't text or call too much, then it makes you look bad.

snackeyg · Answer

I'd say 1-3 Days. I'll pick 3 since it seems kind of annoying to spring asking for another date so quick, but maybe not. Would you be annoyed getting asked the next day?

Cartiphilus · Answer

It's difficult to answer what happened/why he never contacted you.  Do you know where he likes to hang so you can just happen to be there too?

Cartiphilus · Answer

He'd be a fool not to follow up with such a hot girl.

0ddjob · Answer

Maybe he's broke and can't afford to take you on the kind of date he wants to.

-0x0- · Answer

Whenever there's something worth asking them to come along to.

Yeahhbro · Answer

It depends in a lot of factors I usually wait a week because I am busy as hell

emzy-89 · Answer

around 3 days I would say. definitely not a week or more.

aswinkc · Answer

well maybe your boyfriend is a liar and hv taken the advantage of your blindness...these types of guys are a beauty from outside bt nt inside

Ugliness · Answer

Why wait?

frustratedchump06 · Answer

3 days

GUYS: How long do you wait to ask a girl on a SECOND date? :)

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GUYS: How long do you wait to ask a girl on a SECOND date? :)

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