Why do men match with you on dating apps but never message?

Question

And no, I'm not going to message first because I am a lady.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Well If you're not going to message first... you can just sit there wondering.

Hopefully, eventually some guy who marches with you; likes you; AND shares your archaic view of gender rolls decides to message you first.

It's impossible to have any sympathy for you here.

If you want to pretend it's 1950 that's your choice. But don't complain because guys don't generally see it that way anymore.

This is a self-inflicted wound. So, until you're views change... I don't know what to tell you. Yeah... you're gonna end up feeling this way (obviously).

Lionman95 · Accepted Answer

Because he´s either too insecure since guys that are insecure offline are often insecure online too since they don´t know good start for a conversation or he never intented to get to know hence he´s just collecting likes or spreads them widely to increase his chance of getting a conversation with any girl that helps him with the start.

A last thing is that he either never intended to find someone he just uses the app when he´s bored or he deleted the app but not the account at some point.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Hahahaha! Well then, you get what you get. You’re more likely to get what you want when you’re willing to go after it.
You’re also likely cherry picking only parts of what it means to be a lady. Ladies aren’t boastful. So all those attractive personal traits and flattering photos you put online, not ladylike. Ladies don’t speak unless spoken to. So, you’re appropriately applying that to your advantage in order to avoid rejection, but i doubt that the only times you’ve ever spoken in your life is with other women and after a man addressed you. Ladies don’t wear pantaloons, those are for boys and men. Dresses that cover the knee are for ladies. Ell oh ell!
So maybe edge one more useless bit about being a lady out of your way and hit a fella up. Or don’t. It’s your game, play however you see fit. Also, if you’re using Bumble, men don’t even have the option to message first there.

churbleburble78 · Answer

Beats me? It's a numbers game - surely the more matches, the more you need to explore them... however, some women are equally incapable of replying

I matched with 200 women on fb dating, messaged all of them at least once - led to dates with 20 women, although 2 were Bumble, 1 was POF, 1 was in real life, so call it 16 out of 200

AmeerX · Answer

For me, either the girl is too beautiful that I fear she will think she is worth more.

Or there is fear of scammers. I mean why would that beautiful girl be looking for online dating.

Or I just sometimes mistake it and end up not be able to message at all.

HighValue · Answer

From what I have seen, many men just swipe to match with A LOT of women without even looking at them and then after they match they finally look to see if they are interested. I think it is dumb. For one, it wastes people's time, and two it makes people think way more people are interested in them than actually are so they may pass on someone, thinking they want another match that really didn't even read their profile.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I'm only on Bumble and even when girls match with me, they seem to always "forget" the whole point of the app is that they have to message first 🤣. I've resorted tp using the compliment feature to just initiate the chat myself, since even by design of the app itself, women won't bring themselves to write a basic ass greeting 🤣

FilmGuy93 · Answer

They might just want the validation of knowing you find them attractive. More likely though, is that they don't message you because they just don't know what to say.

For all the criticism women give men for not having good dating app profiles; a lot of women have absolute garbage for profiles too.

RealMarek · Answer

Online dating is a numbers game and there is a lot of behavior like this and ghosting. There’s no telling what the reasons are. Some guys just like to be able to find pictures or keep someone on their list in case they decide to pursue her later. Don’t even worry about any of these people until you’ve exchanged a few messages first.

MCheetah · Answer

They're turned on by one's looks, then immediately turned off by one's personality. ... And I don't agree with that last sentence at all.

zagor · Answer

That gun probably scares them off.

But seriously, men match with dozens (or more) of women. They get tired of sending messages that don't get responses and so start to be more selective about who they bother messaging, and finally give up on it altogether.

dragoblack · Answer

Yeaaahhh, get out of "ladies don't message first, nor do they put much effort into the messages" mentality, because dating requires interaction from both involved and it really doesn't matter who starts the conversation as long as it starts and it is an actual conversation instead of just 1 side asking questions.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

Hahaha most men text first, if they don't, it's because you're not attractive.

Still-alive · Answer

How many messages do you get on these dating apps/sites? how many did you respond to? Guys do message... but i got a feeling these aren't the guys you want or like...

DavidRaul · Answer

That never happens with me. I message them first whenever we match. But dating apps suck overall. Some women wouldn't even reply on Bumble after they match

chicosuave · Answer

because most men dont have faith in it. Most women ghost, flake etc etc. so why even try anymore.

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

Honestly you were cool when you were 24 but im starting think you're a Karen at 25

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Do you really think there are rules? I mean, it's ONLINE Dating.. It's already awkward and artificial as it gets...

Berethor · Answer

Men are much more likely to get rejected than women, so why you don't message them?

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that rejection and no responses are common. And well tbh the like youput as well

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because the Chad's have lots of options and you are far down the list.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the rules are reversed on dating apps. I NEVER message first. It's really not worth it.

htmndg183 · Answer

I don't know. In my case the reverse has always been the scenario

eagle1951 · Answer

probably because the site won't let them without paying even though it saids free app

slatyb · Answer

They are probably just there to perv pictures.

Chthou95 · Answer

Men dont want to message you? Oh well tough shit

Anonymous · Answer

You're just stupid living in a brainwashing world

Mark987 · Answer

Same goes for women

Alex8736 · Answer

that's strange. not all men 😇

Why do men match with you on dating apps but never message?

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Why do some people match with you on dating apps but then never reply?

Why do men match with you on dating apps but never message?

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Why do some people match with you on dating apps but then never reply?

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