Should I accept going over his house?

[Anonymous]

So he already knows we aren’t automatically doing sex and he knows it’s off the table. We have been on a couple of dates, he been tied up with work, I told him I would come over and visit to keep him company. Is this acceptable after a few dates or am I slipping up?

[quaranta]

It's all in your power. If go over his house, and you don't want to have sex but he expects that, well you just have to say "no", maybe reminding him you warned him earlier that you stated it was off the table. He might hope that in the back of his head but that is... His head, not yours. Unless he gave signals that he interprets coming over as an implicit agreement to have sex, but that is his head anyway, just you might want to make sure you aren't giving him false expectations and suggest earlier you are not in for sex, before going there, so that when you go back home he doesn't feel it like if he failed something that repulsed you. But even so, you don't "owe" him sex, imagine having sex as a duty instead of a pleasure.
I think you can totally go there, you have a hot chocolate together, see the house, see what person he is at home, and after a couple of hours you go back home.
You can do this as long as you know yourself and you know you are totally capable of saying "no" (some women can't). If you are unsure and you think you might be soft enough to end up having unconsensual sex just because of the pressure of his expectations, then clearly don't go, if that is off the table... You might reinforce yourself with this by for example not shaving yourself down there, in a way that makes you feel embarassed so you have another reason to stay firm on you "no", if your personality strength alone feels not sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have anyone over here after just a few dates. Who knows what you're inviting... but in your case when sex is off the table, you also need to take responsibility to avoid compromising situations as well. All it takes is a hug...

[Asker]

I didn’t give into it lol

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe not yet, but it's only a matter of time...

[Asker]

Yeah when he’s my boyfriend lol

[ManOnFire]

I don't think it's wrong to go see him. If you told him no sex then he should be respecting that. You will find if you go. In fact it's good if you do so you can find out of he respects you or not.

[Asker]

I’ve been to his place once and he didn’t do anything except we did cuddle but that’s all I’ll accept

[ManOnFire]

Then there you go. Although, if that's the case, he MIGHT expect sex to finally happen. I don't want to say that for sure or even accuse the guy, but could be the case.

[Summeroflove]

If you feel safe and comfortable sure

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s ok but best to do it in daylight hours and then leave to get some food. Don’t go over after sundown rn

[Asker]

It’s sun down 😬 about to tell him I’m too tired honestly lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Good idea. Best to plan another date this weekend

[Asker]

I’m not lying either lol like honestly I’m tired and been waiting around kind of too.

[BarryLiverstone]

He made you wait, tsk tsk

[Asker]

I didn’t go lol although now he won’t be seeing me for a week , oh well

[BarryLiverstone]

Good things come to those who wait

[Berethor]

Only if you fully trust him, he would likely be going to push for sex anyway while you there.

[HappyWoman34]

No. I’d advise against it.