Is it rude if my girlfriend keeps saying come on baby lets do it and starts sitting on my lap and putting her hands on my pants, I push her off?

[williambolt447]

I say no not right now in a respectful but stern way and push her off.

Is that rude?

[Effably]

Not really. Its a simple balance. If you are both happy all is well. Rejection is never fun, rejecting others is also rarely fun. However at some point do you not both want the attempt to be made?

If you do, you need to find a balance where neither person feels bad about an outcome. While that sounds a little complicated it typically is as simple as both of you initiating sometimes and making sure that at least from time to time you make the other one feel desired. Since what really sucks is not rejection but the implication as to why.

[williambolt447]

I would honestly be more friendly and cool in my approach like "sorry baby not right now" or "lets do it another time" or "not right now honey" because I get horny myself and I dont like being told no and I dont like to stifle a girls sexuality and I don't wanna feel like im doing that. I have autism and adhd and wanted to have a nuanced discussion about this situation to help me inthe future. I didn't know where to go.

[Effably]

To her, I'd say. And for what it is worth I think your stern approach is likely better than a sorry. There is nothing to apologize for, you are simply not interested at that time for whatever reason. Depending on her preferences it might even be more like a game than denial. Of course you can talk about it like sensible people. Talking about how to handle this is actually pretty normal!

That said, same as before. Encourage the attempts. Maybe include it in the dirty talk sometime so she feels noticed. And just make certain she feels you want her. Not just horny, but that she is the focus of all your lust and desires.

[williambolt447]

Yeah I like to have a neutral balanced respectful yet assertive when have to be and maybe aggressive when have to be approach to things. I try to be cool and stay cool and just do what I gotta do to handle that situation but not be uptight and stuff.

I dont like being mean to girls. I have struggles with my mom she is toxic. When im overwhelmed and issues with my mom come out, I can accidentally take that anger out on a girl unnecessarily potentially and I dont wanna do that. Sometimes girls are hard to talk to they can get offended or angry or not understand.

[williambolt447]

I live in America and its not that easy right now, inter gender interactions can have contention to toxic drama in them.

[Effably]

While I understand that you two are partners. You both decide what is and is not right, normal, or acceptable between you.

If you both do not want anything to do with the gender conflicts, simply make the mutual decisions they do not matter. After all, it is again the implications that are important. Knowing each other's standpoint fixes most issues and nips them in the bud.

[Finchie40]

You have to be careful with that man , denying your partner sex can lead to them going to screw someone else if she feels her wants aren’t being met , if You don’t feel like sticking your dick in her please her in other has , finger the shit out of her or eat her and get her off , if you constantly deny your partner intimacy and affection don’t be surprised when they get it from someone else

[tfan1]

No. Both of you should wait to be in the mood. Take a shower together and I’m pretty sure that both of you will be in the mood either during or after 😉

[jshm2]

Are you really her brother or something?