I was hanging out with my friends the other day. The guy approached me, asked for my number and showed genuine interest in me. We decided to meet up for the first time and had a conversation. I realized that he has a kid with his ex. They don’t live together but his son and ex live in the same city where he lives. So he visits them quite often.
As a single young woman, it’s hard to consider dating a man who has a kid. I did some thinking about it but I just didn’t want any complication and unnecessary stress in my life.
So the next day, I told him I am not emotionally ready to date a guy who has a kid. I thanked him for his interest and his honesty. He responded and said he appreciates my honesty and wished me all the best. Then he cut me off completely and disappeared.
It’s been days since then but now I feel like I should have taken enough time to consider the relationship with him. i feel like I should have at least tried to get to know him better and had a deep conversation with him about his life and his kid before I decide whether I am able to accept it.
I just thought it would be better to decide before it’s too late.
I only met him once but I like him cuz he seems to be a straight, honest and genuine guy.
I know this isn’t right and I don’t really feel good about going back on my words. but I am thinking if I should message him and see if he is still willing to meet in person and have a deep conversation about it. I would like to get to know him better
or would you guys advise to just leave it and move on?
any advice?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Stressful and little time for you in most cases.
First, your question was thoughtful and articulate and so well written. We don't see that a lot here! :)
Second, you and the man really did deal with your interaction in a mature, thoughtful, and honest way. Well done.
I think this is a case where nothing ventured, nothing gained. And you hurt neither yourself nor the man if you reach out. If he says no thanks you're no worse off than you are today. He, of course, feels flattered that you reached out. But if you say nothing, you're left wondering if you should have done something.
Yes, I would reach out. Keep your message very simple. Polite. Something about perhaps you were rash and needed to spend more time thinking about the situation and would he meet again and you really enjoy his company. And then respect what comes from that.
Absolutely not! You made the right decision. DonMt get yourself involved in other peoples mess like that, especially if you don’t have kids yourself and is so young. And you met this dude once and saying how he seems to such a genuine and hobest guy? Girl no. He’s a complete stranger and even the most evil of psychos can seem nice and genuine for months, sometimes years. You wanna prsise this strangers character? No. And even if he really is that genuine and honest, that’s bare minimum things. Traits all people should have and no reason to date someone. There are honest and genuine men out there who doesn’t come with a broken family in his bagage. Just move on.