Pros and Cons of dating a guy with a child

[DiEms]

I've been getting to know this guy for about 2 months. He just recently told me that he has a child. I'm not really a motherly figure, I don't have the patience for children that other girls might. I think he picked up on my withdrawal after he told me. I want to give him a chance because he seems like a nice person. He says that he and his child's mother have a good relationship with little to no drama.

I've heard stories of the child driving the other woman away because of jealousy and such. Just want some other opinions. I know it is ultimately what I make of it, but I haven't been on here in ages and want to see what you guys have to say!

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the input! I'm going to talk to him about it. To the single father's I give kudos to you guys for still being there for the children evening though the relationship didn't work out. Keep up the good work! It's guys like you that keep us women hopeful. :-) To the girls, thanks for your opinions and experience as well!

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

No offense, but I am taking the cynical route:

For starters: HE should have told you in the first place that he was a single father so that you could have made an informed decision upon if you wanted the broken leftovers of another woman. Nevertheless, if you choose to continue to deal with a man that withhold vital information such as that from you, G_D knows what the hell else could he be hiding from you.

Second of all: If you believe there is potential jealousy of another woman pertaining to the guy, perhaps it is a situation you probably should not even enter into. It sounds like a whole hell of a lot of drama... Unless you love drama, and suspense in your life... To each their own!

Finally, you must consider one thing... Let's just trvel to that magical world of "If and when", where unicorns and lying pigs exist, and ask ourselves something: If things do work out, would I want to be bothered with a snotty little brat that is likely to disrespect and ignore me because I am "Not MOMMY"...

You re probably better off with a guy without kids.

For the record, any fool with a d*ck can have a baby. IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM RESPONSIBLE! Responsibility would be having children with someone when you are really sure of being tolerating the bitch/bastard for at least 18 years... Otherwise, he is just another dumbass that stuck his penis in a vagina without a condom and brought another human in this world...

Pros: Not sure if there are any...

Cons: Mother of said child and her jealousy, Drama if mother is a total c*nt and disallow his visitation, his LACK of responsibility, Child may grow to be a nuisance to you, Child support (She may be taking him for a nice chunk of money that could be used for other crap... like dating you), and The joy of being second rate wen you should be first.

[justincider]

Im a single dad, and there are pros and cons. You will be able to have time to yourself when he is with her, which could be either. If he and his ex are on good terms that's a plus but it fluctuates, so be ready and be willing to listen. Just don't meet the child or spend time unless you are serious. He will not want to do introductions with every girl he dates as that can be confusing for the child. Go with you gut

[Anonymous]

You should talk to him about how you're feeling. If you discuss it, and both of you are seeking a serious relationship, you'll have to keep in mind his child in the bigger picture. The guy you're dating probably isn't expecting you to step in and be this child's mom. Ask if the mom is in the picture and see how much communication they have, and you'll also have to bring up that you're worried that maybe him and his baby mama will get back together.

My boyfriend had a child when he was in high school but they put their daughter up for adoption. He told me relatively soon into our dating stage and it hasn't stopped us from developing deeper feelings for each other. Of course your situation is different, but still.

[girlme]

pros: he's responsible, you get a chance to raise a kid

cons: his ex, child might not like you, you grow up faster

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

So, what would be the pros and cons of a single guy that never been married and no children at age 34?

Btw, I find single fatherhood to be IRRESPONSIBLE... Regardless to if he is in the child's life or not.

However, opinions are like ass-holes... And I am a stinky cynical ass-hole.

[Anonymous]

feeling like "the other woman" even though everything may be "cool" that thought is still in her head.

[--phil--]

you'll be able to spend time with him and his child. and trust me helping raise a child is actually kind of fun. I've got a daughter who lives like 4 hours away from me and I love her so much. so maybe you'll be able to connect with the child.