Why some people date people who resemble their parents?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Just a musing.

One of things that everyone comments is that my wife heavily resembles my mother in appearance, to the point that it happened she got mistaken for her daughter while they assumed I was the son-in-law.

I didn't take notice of it until someone told me.

[OlderAndWiser]

I assume that is a subconscious process.

Years ago, there was a popular American song about this topic

https://www.youtube.com/embed/3OifREE71KI

"I Want A Girl Just Like The Girl That Married Dear Old Dad!"

I suppose this depends entirely on the nature of the relationship you had with your mother. I love my mother but if I was married to her clone, would go absolutely nuts! (And not in a good way!)

[CrazyGirl2]

I read a study which states that the first man most girls “fall in love” with is our fathers, and the first women boys “fall in love” with is their mothers. It’s certainly not anything Oedipal, (Kinky, for those who didn’t get to read Sophocles). It’s merely that to a boy the image of perfection in womanhood is their their mother, and the same goes for girls and our fathers. Then, as we enter adolescence and become attracted to the other sex, boys will often become attracted to girls who favor their mother, and girls will become attracted to boys who favor our father. As with every question involving human beings, there are always exceptions, but overall it does bear out in the studies. At least initially as that child enters the age where they begin dating.

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah, seen this happen too. My sister basically married our stepfather lookalike. Weird.

I guess it's about familiarity; and maybe comfort, affection.

But there are complete coincidences, too.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It could be especially if the figure was a positive one - however I don't know if your stepfather was a good step parent or not.

[Guy13]

I’m doing that right now and personality. The difference being mine is larger with the Betty Boop going on. And, she’s 8 inches shorter but same head and personality. Why 🤷🏻‍♂️

[catiecatie]

I’d say so yes. I still have to meet my guy, but I’m sure the guy I end up marrying will be a guy in the coal industry as that’s what my father does and I’m okay with that. Some guys that work in coal are pretty good looking. Trust me, I’m a female that works in the coal industry and I might e found my future husband… he just doesn’t know it yet.

[kevypatyy7]

There is a saying that goes like this, " GIRLS want to marry a guy in resemblance with their fathers. " But that comes in terms of character and behavior. Girls are the most touched to their fathers more than guys. So I want a guy who can give them that comfort, affections and care like their dad does. But not all girls want that because of bad behaved fathers like one who drinks a lot or beats the mom. I personally can't make that wish because there behaviors of my dad that I actually don't like.

[Anonymous]

I know my dad likes delicate girls, and he married my mom who's delicate, and I'm definitely interested in delicate girls. So probably. I can't remember exactly what it is, but I recall watching a video on the subject. Apparently the part or our brain that in some way acknowledges family member will later in development will be used for our love life. So there's like actually a literal relationship between these two things.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

That's really interesting, thank you for sharing.

[Sour-rose]

If I had one of my laughing gifs right now, i'd pick the ashton kutcher one laughing his ass off.

But if my partner is ANYTHING like my parents... ya gettin' ghosted. No ifs, buts, or what ifs. So i don't see how that can be so but what do I know, i'm living my life happily. Very happily I don't notice what everyone likes

[Tiffany27]

Yes. The guy I’m dating now resembles my father. Has the same personality and similar likes. My mom always hoped that I would find someone as caring as my father is. Too bad she passed away before she could meet him

[Anonymous]

Its more to their attributes and how they make me feel rather than physically appearance. I tend to look up to my parents. Eventhough my parent isn't perfect, but i they raised me so im used to how things were like.

[electromagnetic]

My fiancé is the complete opposite of my dad. They have similar opinions on things and how they do stuff though.

[xJayleenx]

Freud would be proud 😂 apparently that happens a lot and the same things can be said about a girls father. Me and my bf’s mother though are not alike at all the woman has always been skinny, she is mixed with indian so her features are different, she likes the news (i hate it lol) the only similarity that we have is that we both have black hair and like avocado toast.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I've heard that we might pick partners based on familiarity. Or something like that.

[jshm2]

Familiarity. There is comfort to be found in ones sense of normality

[CoolCatMar1]

I don't know. My boyfriend doesn't resemble my dad at all nor my mom😂

[Jamie05rhs]

Not sure. But I specifically avoid any woman who looks like my mom. Something deep within me is just automatically repulsed.

[linka_pat307]

Then I will one of the few who will want someone opposite my dad

[TacosRAwesome]

I seem to date men with my mum's personality. I don't get along with my mum and then I wonder why we butt heads. Looks they were all over the place.

[LiamJHayden]

Familiarity, especially if there was a good relationship with the parent.

[NathanDavis]

I definitely didn't... lol

[FieldOfVision]

Hehe moments before Luke Skywalker found out Leia Organa was his sister 🤣🤟

[CubaPirate]

I really know but it's a great question because lots do

[Kelly6]

This happens lot, because they liked how their parent treated them so want a partner who will do same

[Sam2021]

Its normal its mother nature the love the caring the comfort.

[KnewHOUSE]

That means you need real help.
They got meds for those types of people.
That nasty to think about how is that a turn on to anyone.

[Vick2828]

I had kids with the mother of my children because she reminded me of my mom. Personality wise not appearance.

[OddBeMe]

Psychologically its more likely romantic feelings have more to do with past experiences than the traits of who you’re attracted to.

[TenderFantasy]

Comfort and familiarity.

[Anonymous]

Can’t say I’ve dated anyone that looked like my parents😂

[SexyRedd1966]

I don't know something I never did 🤷🏿‍♀️

[BLP11520]

That never worked for me, dated all kinds

[krin_m]

I really do not believe that is true.

[Iron_Man]

The quality yes

[JustCantSleep]

Don't look at me. Nope.

[Manuelwe]

So they have arguments ready durring a fight

[akidbyheart]

A part of us does because familiarity is safety.

[mrmonogamous]

Nope.

[msc545]

hopefully not

[driven159]

not me

[Manuel2]

Easier to deal with