What’s the best way to not be Friendzone by a guy?

[Justneedtokno]

From the short period of time of dating, I’ve learned once you reveal how you feel they’re running. Once you give it up, there’s nothing there left don’t be too desperate be a mystery.

This is not true of all men and just getting over a weird situation. Once I start liking the person and giving it an actual try, they start going the opposite direction when they were pursuing me at first.

[NathanDavis]

do not friend yourself in the first place...

if you want a romance, and they do not... then do not pretend to be a friend

[EaterPeter]

Friend zone is good for long run and relationship

[Justneedtokno]

Lol I’ve never thought of it that way please explain

[EaterPeter]

In order for relationships to last it is good to be good friends then why are we so afraid of friend zone

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for likes!

[Justneedtokno]

People are afraid of the friend zone because once you’re there, there’s not really a way to become more. You never looked at as a person for a potential relationship.

[EaterPeter]

Not most people. Very few knows about it. It's a time consuming process and no one want to invest.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for MHO!

[JamesDiaz11]

I think you touched on two separate things: one is the friendzone typically understood by men to mean being assigned into a completely platonic relationship, and what you seem to be describing in that you're placed OUT of the relationship category (I'll explain why you weren't in it to begin with).

So, typically men don't friendzone women. They keep some women at arms length for varying reasons, but they don't put women in a platonic position knowing the girls like them. There are reasons why a guy would disqualify a woman from sexual/romantic pursuit, which include her not being attractive, or having some severe character trait in his mind. So, the best way to avoid the "friendzone" for a girl is simply to be attractive. By being attractive no straight guy will put you in a platonic position.

However, what you're describing is a guy that'll flirt/ pursue you, even sleep with you, but then pull away when you want to get into a relationship (i. e. show feelings). First, it's important to note that a man pursuing you does NOT mean he's pursuing you for a relationship. Chances are he's not. When people start talking and they don't clearly articulate that they want a relationship, AND that YOU are the one they're interested in then the default is that they're interested in sex with you alone.

The pursuit of sex (i. e. lust) can show up as a man seeming obsessed with you, which tricks many girls into her thinking the guy is obsessed with them as a person, not just them as objects of desire. When they get sex they've accomplished what they were setting out for and the drive (lust) dissipates. Following this if a girl shows she's romantically interested in the guy it drives him away because he was only interested in sex, and now there seem to be strings attached to it. Typically, to be nice we'll say we're "not ready for a relationship," or we're "better as friends," etc. It just means that we were never interested in you for a relationship, and you mistook our interest for romantic interest.

So, aside from being attractive, to avoid THIS "friendzone" (placed outside of the relationship category) learn to discern the difference in being approached romantically and being pursued sexually. If you're talking to a guy and he's simply being comical, or overly flattering, he's probably just trying to seduce you. If a guy asks you about you, your life, especially your family and seems engaged (sharing his own) he's more likely trying to connect with you romantically. I'm not an advocate for withholding sex as a test (to see what he's interested in, or when you "like" him) unless you're a virgin, but the conversation of what you two are doing should happen after a few dates, and be definitive. Any lukewarm responses like "I'm having fun," "I'm interested in seeing where this goes," "I'm open to the idea of xyz" just means he's non-committal, and probably more interested in the sex than a relationship.

[Justneedtokno]

Lol I appreciate the time you took to really try to break down the situation. But you kind of have it all wrong and women don’t just friend zone guys for attractiveness. That Hass to be a connection and a bunch other things.
As far as the situation with the guy, we went out a couple of times, and I did give him the option of just being a friend with benefits he never chose it. Which was wrong on his part.

My discernment wasn’t off in the beginning I wasn’t pursuing him and I wasn’t trying because I knew that this wasn’t gonna go anywhere. I did, however, start to like him because of the consistency that he was giving me. But in the end, I already knew that it was not going to go anywhere, even if he was saying that he doesn’t just want me for sex and all this other stuff Guys lie. I think the only problem that bothers is you waited till after I started liking you to choose the option that I gave you in the beginning plus he’s way immature and younger than me.

[Anonymous]

I was friend zoned by the neighbour guy I would later marry. I was young and we had talked but he always treated me like a friend or a kid even though I was always flirting and dropping hints. So one night I decided to let him know I was clearly intrested and that I was a woman and not the little girl people thought I was because I was so short. So as he went to bed one night I crept into my parents bedroom who were out, waved to him so he could see me and he waved back. I took off my dressing gown to reveal I was fully naked, turned around so he could see my ass as well and just looked at him and smiled shyly. I couldn't really see hi reaction to me because the lights were on I'm my parents bedroom and his lights were off but he didn't look away. I heard my parents come home so I turned off the bedroom lights put by dressing gown on and walked out of there waving and smiling. as I went. It worked, things had definitely changed between he and I, he no longer treated me like a little school girl but as a woman and I would often catch him checking me out. A year later we were married.

[Part2603]

Surely you two were able to compare notes after the fact? What was his reaction at the time?

[Justneedtokno]

OK one this sounds like a scene from a movie and congratulations and reminds me of dirty dancing. Nobody puts baby in a corner.

[Opinion Owner]

No. This was my life and I dont remember sexy beast Patrick Swayze flashing baby. I did get the idea from American Beauty and it worked.

[Justneedtokno]

No, I think it’s sweet. But it still reminds me of like a movie like Roman Holiday one of them movies you got the guy it’s nice.

[Jamie05rhs]

I disagree with what you said. If he really likes you, then he's not going to run.

[Justneedtokno]

Yeah, it’s a joke.

[DizzyDesii]

When i turn down a guy, i start off by saying “well im not looking for friends but thats all i could see us being (if i were looking for that of course)

[Pyrofox]

I'd say one easy way would be a confession if you have been already pretty much a couple without making it official. Just be ready if he's like. I thought we already were a couple. 🥺

[Justneedtokno]

What is the tracking them?

[slatyb]

It sounds like you are rushing things. Wait a couple of months before you start planning the wedding.

[Justneedtokno]

Nope I’ve never rushed into any of it. He talked about kids first I didn’t he talked about a relationship first I didn’t. I haven’t been pushing him to do anything. I’ve actually blocked him stop talking to him for a while. He hit up my friends to talk to me I didn’t.

[KrakenAttackin]

Easy, don't chase Chad's. Go after regular, good men, who actually want to be with you.

[Justneedtokno]

You love saying this Chad character I don’t chase guys honestly every at the house I go to work and I hang with my family which I should probably go out more though

[Hardworkingguy]

One of my theories is that a woman has to show interest in really getting to know the man she wants to go out with. And also try to show him what she really is like.

[Chelsdope0]

Don’t be unstable

[Justneedtokno]

Can you expand on this

[Chelsdope0]

Just don’t act mentally unstable… lol

[Anonymous]

Choose the right man to begin with. Want to know the definition of insanity? Do the sane thing over and over again and expecting different results.

[Anonymous]

Be attractive and tell him you want to fuck him and do that day.

[Faith18letsgo]

Pick guys who usually get friendzoned.

[Part2603]

Flirt flirt flirt!

[bananathunder]

suck his dick?

[dolemite89]

be physically attractive 😂

[Jennz6]

I’m not sure about a friend zone

[Anonymous]

Put out on the first date lol