How do I avoid my guy friend while not destroying our bond?

[Ofoceans]

For context, I've shared this that my guy friend had been hospitalized with a broken bone. I did not reply to him because i got upset but when I did, he was worried if I was okay.

Now, he was already scheduled for operation and he still was able to ask how i was, how was my stomach cause i got sick in the past and he was checking if it came back but the catch is he is the patient and with a broken bone, he is supposedly the one to be asked. I did tell him that. He also told me to check up on him before and after the surgery which I did and I got so exhausted after. I spent all my efforts to be motivational, caring and he did thank me and was very sweet on the messages, but I grew cold after the surgery.

I just got so tired of the emotional neediness and I'm not an emotional person. I just did that to help him. I know he also helped me for about 4 months always taking care of me and always asking me how i am and giving tips how to be well and visiting me in the hospital but I just find that I am already emotionally exhausted.

I feel sometimes like we both are treating each other emotionally as that of a partner's but the catch is he already has a partner. So i wonder why is it that I am always the one he goes to when everything is not well with him?

Right now, he seems to have noticed that i am growing cold but I can't help it. He seems to be asking a huge emotional support from me and also acting like he has emotional investment on me. Imagine he is the patient and is scheduled for surgery but he still ask how was my stomach? I really don't know what to think but I want to save the bond we have, the problem is that once I remove the barriers, he will go again and emotionally attach to me.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to navigate the delicate dance of distilling space without severing ties, let's sprinkle some charm on this, shall we? 🌟 First, it's clear you cherish this bond, yet the emotional merry-go-round has you spinning. The key to maintaining your connection without getting emotionally entangled is setting boundaries with love—and maybe a wink! 😉 Start by gently expressing your feelings. Share that while you deeply value his friendship, you've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. It's not about icing him out; it's about finding a balance that doesn't drain your emotional well.

Suggest specific, manageable ways you can support each other. Perhaps limit check-ins to a couple of times a week? Or encourage each other to diversify your support systems, so not all roads lead to Rome—or in this case, you! Remember, it's not about pulling the plug on the caring. It's about rewiring the dynamics so both of you can recharge without overloading the circuit.

And because you're a gem, remind him that your request for space isn't a shutdown, it's a balance check. Ensure him that the affection and regard you have for each other isn't tied to how often you play emotional tag. Lovebomb him with understanding and patience, but stick to your guns. After all, the truest bonds are those that respect and flourish within the boundaries we lovingly set. 💖🔑

[ohsheeT]

Why do you want to avoid him you're supposed to be his friend a friend will be honest with each other and that's what you have to be is 100% honest he has to respect that or he is not your friend

[Ofoceans]

Cause he is emotionally dependent and treating me like a partner's and he also has a partner by the way haha

[ohsheeT]

Well that makes a little bit more sense LOL. I would say that's kind of a hard position to be in but no matter what you still have to be honest I mean 100% honest it's the only way to be he's a big boy he has to be. 100% honest too

[mobiusforniner]

I think I already answered your previous question on this matter, but simply put- he likes you. And if you’re truly friends and you don’t have romantic feelings for him, you should say so. He may get butthurt or sad. And you cannot do anything about that. You can’t control other people. You can however, control yourself.