I've dated someone who breaks down easily. And I'll pass on doing it again.
The whole relationship revolved around her, her past and issues. All she did was use me as a therapist to dump her issues on. We call it 'trauma dump'. And honestly speaking, it was mentally and emotionally draining having to constantly reassure and be a therapist. Just thinking about it feels exhausting.
People seriously need to work on their past hurt and traumas before entering a new relationship. That relationship took a huge toll on my emotional & mental health that I spent the next couple of years recovering until I started dating again. Why? Because I didn't want to burden my next partner with my pain.
The last thing you want to do is trauma dump on your new partner. Don't abuse the fact that a partner is supposed to be there for you. A partner is not your therapist.
I admit that I do get angry easy, and I do cry over almost anything, but the reason I’m like I am is due to being abused for 36 years of my life, I’ve only been free from it all over a year.
I admit that I’m a difficult person and hard to get on with mainly because I see things differently to everyone else, but for me I wouldn’t get with someone who breaks down easily not because I’m a dick but because I have enough trouble with my own life and adding someone else to it would just make it unbearable.
It always depends at how much trauma and how you process it. As someone who has a sister who suffers from mental health issues it’s difficult as theirs a large burden placed on you to have a smile and be kind no matter how frustrating they can get. I don’t know if I could handle a really big issue because while trying to help you my mental health could also deteriorate.
s No, I have a history of trauma and I also have bpd, so I cry over nothing a lot of the time and can breakdown over the smallest things. So if I were to date someone similar like that, I would understand them well and be there for them. I’d rather be with someone over emotional rather than someone who’s emotionally like a brick wall.
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I think it is best for every straight man to know that as a man, women wantvyou to be their shoulder to cry on and not the other way round. They may tell you that it is okay to cry or be vulnerable, but in reality, that is exactly what puts them off.
As a man if you are not prepared to be the bed rock of the relationship or your created family, it is best not to start.
Yes. I want a physically and mentally strong men.
I recommend you to seek professional help for your trauma. It's of course to have your past but for your own mental health you should take care of your mind and soul
Yes... If it's other people I'd think that's kinda too much.. can't they pull themselves together... But if it's my girl, I'd be like oh babe come here to me and squeeze her lol... When you really like someone you don't see their flaws as flaws...
Thats a contradiction, the love of my life is a creative, artistic, inventive, logical, positive, optimistic go getter business type, those kinds of women do not break down emotionally over small things, or even most big things, they are unphased and undeterred from reaching their goals in life.
The love of my life is like that, I've gotten pretty good at knowing what she needs in those moments. Of course, it's a lot of work and it's hard sometimes. But it's not a deal breaker, for me at least. It's not for everyone. But since meeting her, I've found that I'm extremely compassionate and sensitive to stuff like that.
Sounds like you need to work through this in therapy and for some reason, you haven't. I don't think you're ready for a serious relationship if you haven't resolved past trauma. You're not even working on it. This is a serious red flag.
Listen, if you have unhealed parts of yourself then you shouldn't be in an a relationship and neither should I have to sacrifice my peace and the safe/healthy space that is my life...
Work on yourself, for yourself, get better and you will see that it's not about getting someone else to tolerate your toxic unhealthy side, but looking to heal and finally have healthy and stable love with someone accepting you for you in all of your greatness even with past traumas.
I think a guy who can be described this way may not be in the right place for a relationship right now. I would be a sympathetic friend but I would not want a relationship of this nature. Sorry and JMO!
i will have no problem with it especially because i have my mental issues myself and mine is tough really tough and so that help me to empathize more with people so go ahead no problem at all no big deal
There's a difference between having emotions and just being a p*ssy. Most women are OK with a guy with emotions so long as you cab control them. Personally, I'm me I'm soft like cookie dough but also as hard as iron. I can handle mine. But I do have feelings and am not afraid of expressing them. If that's not OK wither she can f*** off.😆😆😆
I don’t have an issue with people having mental health problems. What I wouldn’t put up with is someone who isn’t dealing with them, isn’t seeking help and who hasn’t tried some sort of therapy.
Men have an issue with crying. Few woman, that I am aware of, have issues with men showing some emotion. It’s pretty refreshing when they do.
society doesn't care much about a crying woman than it does a crying man
then they tell guys to open up their emotions all the time. SMH
I do have some trauma so i can relate and i'd be glad to help out and support my partner through it because that something i've also wanted. Support. That is if she is actually willing to learn and not give into it.
It's a deal breaker if they're doing nothing about it coz sadly I am similar but I'm doing therapy and trying to avoid triggers.
If you can't be bothered to help yourself, why the fuck is anyone to bother helping you?
Yeah, I’m sorry but I’m not a caretaker or a therapist. I’ll pass. Thank you, next.
No, but I'd definitely try and help them to ease up on it a bit, at least.
Cry if you want, but take action to solve the problem together with me.
I do that too. Welcome to the club.
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