So, I've been on 4 dates with this girl and we have kissed in all of them but this last one was kind of weird.
Also it was after a 2 week hiatus, she was hugging me more than kissing, and so I told her if she wanted to be my girlfriend because I wanted to know her if she wanted something serious or wanted to just hang out, told me she liked me but wanted to get to know me better, and told me she felt like we were going too fast.
This uncertainty is what I don't like since I've been respecting our almost something even on those 2 weeks when she was distant by not going out with other girls, and now that she kind of rejected me I feel like I should now go on other dates, even if I don't want to because I need something serious in my life.
It would have felt much better if she just plain rejected me.
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To get to know a person takes much more than just 4 or even 10 dates. It is a known fact that people tend to hide important facts to the others, at least until they can say that they know them well enough.
Would you for example tell her after the 4th. date that you have a criminal record or that you have a serious addiction? Of course not because you are afraid to jeopardize the start of what can be a relationship. You would wait until much later to confess those important facts.
The fact that she wants to take it slow simply means that she is unsure about you and that she needs much more time to try to see through you and to analyze you to see whether you are actually compatible on a long term basis.
Also, the fact that you want to go on other dates because you have the feeling that things don't go fast enough tells me that you are not really ready for something serious. You are way too much in a hurry.
It's not that it's not going fast enough but more so that there is no certainty if she will come to like me and if so how long would it be, so I'm just in a blind spot right now, because she could also just be playing games, feel like the best I could do right now is just go on with my life and keep dating her from time to time, but I will not wait for her because I'm actually in a hurry since I was diagnosed with depression and need to form a bond with someone (according to my psychiatrist and therapist) not just hanging out like I used to, also I'm tired of that, I want something meaningful and there are some very valuable girls interested in me and I don't feel like being the guy that just chats and then losing everything because I never made a move on them, feel like I'm in the wrong in some areas here but I also have to look for myself :(
You are kind in a vicious circle because you want to bond with someone to attempt to get out of your condition but the bonding may take time (that you don't have) and then you may want to take the first person that shows interest. Perhaps she is not the right person for you. Good luck.
Thanks for the MHO