Is being selective another reason for not finding commitment from a man?

[Anonymous]

I've been on dating sites for many months now. There were 2 guys that claimed to be looking for commitment and forming a family too. They both said we can date for only 5-6 months and base on how it goes, then we can have a family.

The only issue:

Both were unattractive guys with indigenous features and lower quality overall. I turned them down. I just wasn't attracted to them. Both seemed like desperate types with few to no options.

I've been told several times by friends that being too selective is a reason why I continue being single, that I would've already had a family if it wasn't for that. Is that another reason too? I can't help it if I'm not attracted to the man.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is. Sadly if these are the type of me. You attract that says a lot about you as well. One is that you’ve hit your potential as far as the quality of man you’ll find. Your window of opportunity is closing as you get older. Eventually you will phase out. Your standards like a lot of women’s standards are probably crazy, unrealistic dreams. The men you’re attracted to as you claim aren’t interested in a relationship or kids. Which I say they more than likely are, just not w you. You’re not on their level. You either have to lower your standards some, or hold out, wait to see, hope that you’ll meet someone who is at least descent in your eyes.

[Asker]

The couples times a handsome Frenchman and German dude hit on me... it was just for a friends with benefits, nothing serious. Yes it sucks.
So basically, if a year goes by (I'm currently 25), then I would have to lower my standard by getting rid of the race selection, then getting rid of his looks and be stuck with someone I'm not attracted to and likely won't fall in love with. Isn't that settling? Is this the new norm nowadays, that if I want commitment and kids like any normal woman wants (I don't know of any woman in my family nor group of friends that would be happy dating forever), I would have to accept an ugly man?

[Opinion Owner]

You just may well have to. But I’m sure the men who are looking on a much higher level like yourself would end up having to settle as well when picking you. Because from what it sounds like no one is picking you, at least like you said not the ones you’re interested in. You have have to swallow a hard pill here realizing that the maybe the level you want to be on is not where you’re at as far as reality.

[boggboss]

It can be a reason yes one has to be realistic when it comes to dating and picking a partner

[Asker]

It really sucks. The men that want commitment and a family (like those two that sounded desperate for that) are ugly men with likely no options... and the men I'm attracted to don't want commitment nor a family.

[boggboss]

But thats true for most people that have more options wouldn't tend to settle down later because they have more options to pick from

[desidoll]

Yes, if you are willing to lower down your standards. Right, you can’t help it if you are not attracted to them. As long as you don’t mind waiting for the right one, but the time is clicking and we are getting older.

[desidoll]

*ticking

[Asker]

I know but those two guys were truly ugly. It really sucks that the men I'm attracted to aren't into commitment and kids meanwhile the ones likely to propose I don't want them.

[desidoll]

I understand. My roommate lately told me the same thing. She is like 31 and all ready to settle down but the only men who want to commit are those you mentioned, not attractive or like below average 🫤

[BarryLiverstone]

Why are you limiting yourself to dating sites? Clearly after months it’s not getting you what you want. So why not meet more guys irl when you go out?