It may seem like a simple question on the surface but in reality it can be confusing.
I haven't personally had a relationship in six years or so. My last one was a big break up and since then I just stopped caring for dating.
But getting back on the horse again seems so scary. Like, worse than when I was a clueless teenager.
What do you say, ask, talk about? When is it appropriate to say "Hey let's meet up?" On a dating site? How do you really know what criteria needs to be met and when it actually is met?
Maybe I'm thinking way too objectively about it but in the world of 2023, there's nowhere to really go to find a meaningful relationship. And I mean specifically go out looking for. Clubs and bars are filled with people of promiscuity. Screw that.
Have any of you had this bump in the road after a big break in relationships and overcome it? If so, any advice?
How do you get to know someone with the intention of a relationship?
I haven't been in a longterm relationship in a while but i never stopped dating. I like to get to know someone for at least a good month or two whether it be online or in person. Like back at work and in school, i’d get to know them on-site. If we appear to still be on the same page after seeing eachother there, then we’d shift to hanging out outside of that. I always like to hang out with someone before actually making it a date. I could like hanging out with someone but turn out not to be physically attracted to them in a romantic sense. So like i personally have no problem initiating meetups. Its when i never initiate that they should worry because im likely not into them at all or anymore. Im not sure why you’re nervous to talk about personal preferences and experiences. It just comes natural in conversation to me
I didn't. I ask them all out based on surface information. I thought a date is where you get to know them better and to go the friends route would just lead to being nothing to them but a friend and I didn't want that.
It's been almost five years since I tried last. I'm going to both ever again. Fifteen years of trying is long enough to extrapolate that nobody is going to say yes to me.
