When you spot someone you’re attracted to and you want to know them, how do you make your first move?

Question

To get their number or make yourself known? Or do you just wait for them to ask you instead?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well honesty i have had greater sucess on line... so its been a long time since I approached a stranger in person.

So in the day, I make sure she noticed me noticing her in casual way... not the creepy stare down from across the room. Just some casual eye contact. Then I would say something casual to her like... I like your shoes, or thats a pretty necklace, or dang its so hot today... something almost anything to get her to say something back so I could get a conversation going.

9 times out 10 you get a short answer like thanks and then she looks away almost immediately. But if she maintains eye contact then you got a chance. So you keep the conversation going, I am a good small talker. At some piont if you got a good vibe you make the move to get her number. But don't force it, if you aren't getting the vibe your looking for... wish her a good day and walk away. Because there's a good chance you will see her again sometime and every time its easier to talk to her, and she might warm up to you. But once you get the vibe going you will know when its the right time to ask her out.

I never straight up ask for her number. At some piont you ask her what if shr has any plans this weekend, and if she'd like get a cup of coffee or take a walk in park sometime. If says yes, then 50% of the time she follow that up with, "Let me give you my number." The other 50% of the tim when she doesn't offer you her number first then give her you number.

If at that she doesn't give you her number in exchange, then she was probably just being polite and isn't interested... but you ask her to text or call you later so you can make plans.

Sometimes they do and some times they don't. If they don't and yoy see them again, don't ignore or at like jerk, just be polite to her say hi and don't linger... you say hi to just keep yourself relevant in her mind. I mean she might reconsider. Din't make it creepy. She might change her mind later, and if she doesn't its okay.

Thats how I used to do it back in the day.

bigpauly · Accepted Answer

I ask them which way the gym is while flexing

Lucy68 · Accepted Answer

At my job there's a new guy who's really really cute. My first move was I walked up to him, introduced myself, and shook hands while trying not to smile like a creep. Then when I went back to the warehouse after my late lunch/dinner break I talked to him for a bit but had to leave cause he was getting ready to load the truck after he mailed out the Amazon stuff and I had to go back to check inventory. So I'm bold but he's part of my type. He's tall, has tattoos, and a nose ring. I'm shy when it comes to guys (the guy at the Sunglass Hut at the mall is so freaking hot and yet I can't talk to him) but I try to be bold and talk.

PamelaRivers · Accepted Answer

Just try talking to them and see where it goes.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Ideally, it would be the second scenario, but sometimes you just have to man up and make the first move. I've kind of stopped doing it with strangers, because I have to feel the person out first.
With my most recent one, I asked her about her tattoos (always a great conversation starter). It broke the eyes and at least got her talking a bit. But then me being me I said something awkward and I was like "fuck". Luckily for me, my
coworker unbeknownst to her, helped a lot, because she's a lot less shy then I am, so she was able to get her talking a lot more, allowing me to see what her boundaries are and what her personality is like, which then allowed me to become a lot more relaxed and comfortable around her.

As for the phone number, it happened completely by accident. I wanted to ask her but it was too soon. But what happened was, I asked her to take a picture of something for me, but it just so happened the battery in my camera was dead, so she had to use her phone. Then of course she had to send it to me, which meant she now at least had my number.
Then it just so happened she was being transferred to another site and would be by herself, so I told her since she has my number now to call and text if she has any questions or issues.
I honestly wasn't expecting her to because they never do, but she actually did. So far our phone conversations at least have been work related, but we we've been talking beyond that in person, and she ended up calling ME for help before calling our supervisors, which is a good sign. And yeah, it's going a hell of a lot better than I expected.
Here's the real crazy part. Couple years ago, some guy came and set up some stuff at our company. This is the thing I asked her to take a picture of. So if he hadn't done this, I might have never gotten her number.
So I truly believe that nothing happens by accident. Everything event influences another one. Even though something may seem completely random at first, it really isn't.

DoctorSex · Answer

You should clarify whether you're asking girls or guys..
From my own point of view and how I train young men, it's not about a "strategy", it's about your energy!
If you have the right energy then it doesn't matter what you say or do, you'll be successful. If you doubt yourself then stay away from that person, you'll only pass across to them doubtful energy which is not good for you or importantly for them.
You should care what type of energy you bring into people's lives.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

RavVid · Answer

Well I am not going to run them down in the street. And I have never been inclined to yell out 'Show me your tits'. Yeah I know, its another character defect I have.

Where you are is a strong factor. At a bar you usually get an opportunity to say hello and chat. And if all goes well you get their number. Cafes are more difficult but you can still do hello and chat. But it is easy to ask what they are having and if they recommend it.

Sometimes you need to be patient and strategic. There was one girl who was sex on a stick. Saw her twice but was in company and it was inappropriate. The third time I was alone.

A friend has a clever strategy. He smiles and waves at any girl he likes the look of then goes on with what he was doing. Eventually they think they know him. Its a long game, but it does work. So I have copied him.

DermalPunch · Answer

Generally, I would go up to them and ask them their name and tell them mine. Strike up a conversation about anything really then say something it was so nice meeting you it's too bad I have to go. How can I see you again?

Usually, I find some way to need help with something so there is an innocuous pretext to the whole thing. Men usually (not always) tend to take over from there.

Then it's just setting your boundaries to keep the wolf contained.

But I don't do that anymore.

mayur1598 · Answer

First I'll hire 2 actors to be medical emergency officers and one waitress where she goes often... Then I tell them all the instructions...
Then I'll approach her and start acting like panic situation... And tell her to sit down and ask that waitress to bring water and call 911...
Then those actors will arrive and start checking her...
I'll ask her are you feeling OK, do you have any bruises...
This will go on for like 5 min then I'll tell her you just experienced great fall...
Then she will say 'I'm not'
Then I'll say 'you just fall out of heaven'...
Then she will blush...
Then waitress will start chanting ' Give your number' then those actors will follow her and then everyone will follow them...
Thats how I'll get her number... 😉

Crafteroon · Answer

First I wait to see if they notice me back. If they do, I go and talk to them. If I notice any reluctance, because they are pre-emptively rejecting, because they think playing hard to get is in any way a fun game to play, or anything else, I move ahead.

I came to talk to you, I am interested. If you're not, that is fine. If you are interested but want to play emotional games instead or are too shy to take the chance, I have no time for that. If you feel like growing up, come and talk to me, the ball is in your court, I will not make a second attempt.

DrewJay · Answer

Life is short if you want to know him better dont wait to ask. Just ask. Hahaha its easy for me to through out a sugestion like that its another thing all together for me to ask a woman for her numbet. I have a quarky shy side to me. I just want to be honest in all ny answering but some times that shy side gets me so nervous I do silly and stupid stuff. 🤣😂 I haven't done anything for years now so stupid I can look back and catogorize it as another Andy's great moments in history there could have been a regular show on each week for an hour at one point on my moments 😂🤣 but thats me and I have accepted that and me 😁

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I go up and talk to them.

If we hit it off, it's a 50:50 I ask for their number or they ask for my insta.

Honestly though, I'm still working on this. But I'm taking my time, I'm just 4 months out of an engagement. Lol, I'm not really in the market yet.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Walk over and find any reason to start a conversation. I’ve done that numerous times and we even talked it up for hours but I’m never brave enough to ask for their number. I’d be like, lets keep in touch then forget to ask for their number and just hope to see them at that place again 😂

HawkPerception · Answer

Most of the time, I don't really talk to them because I guess I'm too fearful of the rejection. I feel like I'd make a mess of the scenario no matter how I go about it. But if it's a rare scenario where it's the right time to talk with them and they happen to be alone (which is pretty much never), then I might actually approach them and ask them some kind of question to start a conversation.

crememeow · Answer

Don't put that reposibility into your partners hand. Well yeah them being in your life does bring happiness but you need to find happiness in yourself as well otherwise you might either 1. Lose them and lose your happiness or 2. Blame them for not making you happy. Also having a partner with good intentions and a drive to succeed in life does help in hard times because if you care for your future with time you might put in the work necessary to build the future you want. Their company, motivation and love helps you to fight through the struggles even when you feel alone having them there is enough to remind you.

Nattybrown · Answer

You walk up to them and make a contact and it also depends on the atmosphere, if she is alone I walked up to her and make a funny slans depending on what she is doing. once you can make a lady smile then you have win 50% of her attention. so from there I try to build a friendship zone and appreciate her company after our little conversation and made her understand how much i will love to her such conversation again. no one will refuse given her contact to a guy who smell good and dress needly and make her laugh.🙏🙏😂😂😂, Don't say I have jump into conclusion

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Hit her car, so that she asks for ''my number'' :D
If she gets injured - even better: I can visit her in hospital; where she can't escape me :D

On a more realistic level... I'll always wait if I see her a second time. There's no need to chase phantasy phantoms :)

beebella · Answer

I don't make any moves, but if I were to try to get their attention, I'd probably act like I need their help with something and just see what happens. 😂

Noodle_fan · Answer

if she is someone i know , i will just ask if she want to hang out
if she is total stranger , it can be tricky , i usually start convo by "excuse me..( then i can ask her about direction for example, ), then i will try to read her body language , if she look annoyed , it means i should stop trying lol

Juxtapose · Answer

In the past I would be pretty direct but after getting brushed off enough times.. well these days I wait until the other person clearly has signs of interest in me first.

I usually don't enjoy initiation nor the people who require me to make the first move.

Sonorous · Answer

I say "yo you're hot as shit" in my head. And if they don't look at me irl & say thanks, I'm moving on cause it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Grubhub · Answer

I got no confidence so it’s hard for me to approach. I only approach if she shows me that she has a good personality and she likes me at least as a person. More women have approached me than I approached them. Women would sit next to me purposely hoping I would talk to them. At places like bars and other spots. Had women pick me up from their cars all the time that’s the most common

TallAnon · Answer

If it's online, just slide in their DMs and tell them they're attractive. In person, it really depends what people are doing. I don't see people idle very often and I think it's rude to disturb someone who's say.. walking to/from work, at the gym, etc. At clubs you can just start dancing near them and whisper something to them like "Your dress looks amazing", then give them a smile and see what happens.

qusai_jo · Answer

if you are looking for long term relation don't make the first step men like not easy girls but if you want friend with benefits or one night stand just move on

nawtee_me · Answer

I usually say hey and just start talking to them. small talk at first and if they engage in that then maybe a flirt or two to see how they react.  what about you?

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I'd walk up to him, smile, treat him as a friend and hope for the best, maybe I'll ask him the way so he can keep me company the whole way, maybe I'll ask him to be my guide again :) but the second time will be a date.

Truthatanycost · Answer

I don't because I'm not looking to get into anything. However, it seems me just looking at them is enough to have them make a move sometimes which can be awkward.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I generally don't unless they make their intentions known. Most women don't want to risk anything. Well why would I want to be with someone who held me in so little regard that that they were willing to risk NOTHING.

summer_of_91 · Answer

I usually assume she married or single but no interested in dating. I glance over and than continue shopping, eating my meal etc.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't do anything unless she's giving me a sign she's first interested at least. If she is then I go talk to her.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s actually hard to cold approach because I don’t even know if they already have a boyfriend and usually if they are attractive they already have one. So it’s not easy to do especially when you’re probably going to get rejected

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

If you're single, approach them with the intention on getting to know them. If you're in a relationship, keep it moving. You're gonna be for the streets if you cheat

melanieeeB · Answer

I would just walk up to them and try to start a conversation and see where it goes

Pudsmucker · Answer

I usually chit chat for a while to get know them. Then if I'm interested she's interested we ask for each other's numbers. And I will usually initiate the call. It's been many years since I did this.

Avicenna · Answer

I start a convo with her and if that goes well, I get her number

idkey · Answer

I would say, go up to them, and say hello.
Just be friendly and welcoming.
Act like a friend - not like you are interested in them.
As your relationship begins to develop, then, you may, drop tiny hints on your crush.

truthisthree · Answer

when I was young I would just walk up and start talking  now I just throw some green paper

RobEurope · Answer

I just look at them from a distance and move on with life.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I just walk up to her and drop my dick in her drink.

exitseven · Answer

I used to do some recon first to find out stuff about her. then make a plan after that.

Andres77 · Answer

Make eye contact, guage her response, if she smiles or checks me out I go say hi.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I never make any moves. I'm too scared. Because I don't know what to do.

Djaay · Answer

If it does, nt come naturally, it was, nt meant to be.

Jerre · Answer

I introduce myself, attempt to have a conversation with them

MrPickles13 · Answer

I don't as most of the time it just doesn't seem right to do so.

Jouth · Answer

If I can throw something at her, that usually gets her attention. The harder the better.

Xtendable · Answer

Start talking to them is generally what I like to do

DevinAM · Answer

I don't because I am incapable of approaching people I don't already know, it's a problem.

Treeslayer · Answer

Just tell them hello and just wing it if the chemistry is there you'll know

siseñor · Answer

i completely ignore them lol

scott04sa22 · Answer

I ignore them because my luck with girls sucks

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't usually do that... lol

Babygirl_S · Answer

I just smile and wait for them to ask me.

driven159 · Answer

Ask their name first and start from there

Zachgoat308 · Answer

when both meeting eyes

Twalli · Answer

I usually introduce myself

Waldoe · Answer

I find an excuse to say "Hi"

Zolly99999 · Answer

I usually start by saying hi..

TheeTrybrid · Answer

I just admire from afar 😂 and say nothing

Amur8711 · Answer

Whatever you do, dont wait.

FootfetishistBoy · Answer

I dont, i have a fear of being creepy.

Clyde_123 · Answer

I don't

Ruenella_ · Answer

I don't.

rebeliouse · Answer

@pinay_ako pawn to bishop 2

When you spot someone you’re attracted to and you want to know them, how do you make your first move?

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