You can fall for a person pretty much immidiately. You can know a person for years before slowly realizing, you're falling for them. I've experienced both. More than once.
There is only one criteria to determine if you're falling for somebody too fast.
As long as it's mutual, there is no such thing as too fast. (within reason. Don't go elope or anything)
If it's mutual, it's perfect.
It's only a problem, if they don't seem to be on the same page. (and this does not include all the stuff you second guess about how much someone likes you).
Most people are well aware when it's NOT mutual. (Trust yourself if you think it's mutual, it almost certainly is).
Thanks. I believe it's mutual but the only thing that troubles me is that he did say he had a lot of matches on our first date so I have to be cautious and guard my heart with him until I know for sure he wants to only date me.
You need to have the conversation soon about what this relationship is. Until then, yes having your guard up makes sense. Just not too much.
Him saying he had a lot of matches on your first date, is far outweighed by everything that makes you feel it's mutual.
I think him having a lot of matches is irrelevant, unless you have reason to think he's dating other people too.
Either way, the sooner you two put into words that you really like each other, and want to commit to being exclusive... the better.
It's again, not the number of dates that makes me say that. It's the fact that you're falling for the guy in a significant way.
In my opinion, the right time for that talk, is as soon as you start to feel like it would be a betrayal if he WERE dating some other girl too. If your connection is to that point, you've got an emotional expectation of exclusivity... that needs to be confirmed with the other person out loud.
I'm not saying you need to have this talk on your next date or anything. But... the sooner you do, the better. In terms of protecting yourself from being hurt. I just don't want you to think I'm trying to rush you to have this talk. I'm not. It's not urgent. But it sounds like it's gonna be time very soon (if not already). Being late with this talk is fine... you just aren't ever sure how the other person actually feels.
You are so right and I will have that conversation with him soon. We're supposed to have another date coming up soon so I might subtly bring it up. Or after that date. I really like him and wouldn't mind being exclusive. He says he can get jealous and I caught him taking a few peeks at my phone when my ex was texting me. He didn't of course know it was my ex but I didn't respond to the text messages as that would have been rude. But I think he may be leaning towards wanting to. But I'm not sure. Just kind of got that vibe based off that. But I could be wrong.
You aren't wrong. That's the second-guessing everyone does.
Just don't be subtle about bringing it up. This is something you want to do openly and directly. You're finally putting your cards on the table. You're saying all this unspoken stuff that both of you are trying to make sense of. You're finally saying "I really like you. I have really liked how things have gone so far, and I would love to be exclusive, if you feel the same way"
It's a thing that requires you show that vulnerabity FIRST. So it's a terrible idea to pull something like "So where do you see things going?" or "How would you define what we are"
That, is chicken-shit garbage. If you take the emotional risk of being vulnerable first, the other person will be honest. It ends up being this great talk where both of you now feel on firm footing.
If you don't take the risk, and ask like in the bad examples above: You just end up putting the other person on the spot. You end up transfering the emotional risk of being the first one to show vulnerability onto the other person. You're saying "take an emotional risk. right now. I'm asking what we are."
People are inclined to hedge, and hold back and all that; because they aren't ready to admit "I actually am falling really hard for you"... you just surprised them by asking. You can't even trust that answer.
This is a situation that requires you to be brave. for 10 seconds.
That is my advice. And I do feel very strongly that it's excellent advice. It's never failed me, or anyone else I've convinced. It can't fail. At worse, the answer isn't what you hoped it would be. And that doesn't seem like it should be a worry for you.
I think you are judging the situation correctly, then having very normal doubts (based on nothing. but normal).
*Should NOT be a worry for you (it scares me how often I catch that happening to me on here. How many "not"s have been missed by me entirely.)
Ok. I'll be open and direct. Thank you. You have given tremendously good advice. I really appreciate it a lot.
No problem! I hope some of it helps. You can always DM me anytime too. No pressure or anything, just wanted to throw it out there.
Thanks. It certainly will/has. And I definitely will DM you if I need help with anything.
Sounds good
When you know who you are and you love yourself. It's easy to fall in love with just about anyone
This is when you need to really pat attention on who the person truly is on the inside
When meeting someone you have to look deeper because everyone is on there best behavior so it's easy to be fooled
That's so true. I really have been trying to look deeper and really see if I can see myself with this person and I think I can but it's still early days so I don't want to jump the gun. But I really am starting to like him. He checks all the boxes so far.
Yeah I think we really connected but what's troubling is the fact that I know he has other matches. That concerns me a bit and is keeping me guarded somewhat. But thank you for feeling my warm cuddly energy and personality. That's amazing that you can feel that from just comments. I think you are a really kind spirited person and I definitely feel a bright aura with you. You are a really good person and I appreciate all of your comments!
Opinion
28Opinion
When the infatuation period becomes clearer between us , Right now you are in the infatuation period with this guy , so everything about him is going to feel amazing to you , because you are infatuated with him , it’s not a bad thing , but you should protect yourself from giving yourself completely to him right away , because once the infatuation period runs its course , you might be left standing there with a broken heart and confused as to why things didn’t go as you expected. It’s best to see the big picture before giving yourself completely heart completely to someone
That's very true. Thanks.
No problem , why communication is important before putting yourself in a committed relationship with someone that you really don’t know to much about , still continue to see him and have fun with him but make it clear to him what you are looking for and see if he is on the same page as you Don’t assume sex is going to be the answer either , he might be just telling you things you want to hear so he can have sex with you , but whether he is or isn’t , just have sex and have fun , if he truly likes you , he will keep continuing coming back for more and more , if not? Oh well you got your answer
That's also true. I will be clear with him what I am looking for which is a long term relationship. In his profile he expressed looking for the same thing so I think we are on the same page but I will still make it clear to him my intentions and ask him his. And yes I will have fun and have sex if it gets to that point which I think it will. Thanks again!
Thanks. 😊 I hope so too! 😊
u After our third date, I thought she was The One. We got married one year ago and this is the best relationship I have ever had.
You know you’ve started falling after the first date. By the third or fourth meetup you’re certainly hooked.
Some people are incredibly charming and they pour it on when first meeting a person. You can feel like you're "in love" with that version of the person you see at first.
But the honeymoon first version of someone is rarely who that person truly is. After you see them warts and all, you have a different sense of the person and you have to re-evaluate and take off those rose-colored glasses.
Take your time and do reality checks.
That's true. I will certainly take my time and do reality checks. There are some things I'm taking note of already with him and trying to stay sensible this time around.
Be careful and don't be in a hurry to write someone OFF when you find something you don't like. Take you time with THAT too. Good Luck! You're on the right path.
Thanks. I won't be in a hurry to write him off if I find something I don't like. And I will certainly take my time.
I’ve only fallen for 2 guys my entire life and both didn’t reciprocate those feelings so I’d say whenever I get that extra attention and they seem to truly care for me I mistake it as romance. And also they’re always such giving and empathetic guys so it’s admirable qualities I find about them and obviously they were all attractive. I also felt super safe with both of them they’re natural gentlemen and I would find myself wanting to tell them everything and spend extra time with them. Sadly I mistook their niceness and flirting but I quickly realized that it wasn’t the case.
You know you are in love when whatever the person does, good or bad, doesn't faze you, or you don't mind. You love everything about them, including any faults they have. I went on a "date" with someone who lost their cool when it was a log, hot day, we got lost looking for a place, after we goblokst looking for each other, and he couldn't understand what I was trying to say. So he stormed off and said something in his language ("Wakaranai"!) which means I don't know! At the time I was surprised, but then I saw he was just irritated.
Sometimes right away!! The first time I met my late boyfriend I fell for him THAT NIGHT!! I had never met any guy with such a terrific personality. He was captivating right from the beginning.
We had a love relationship for 6 years until he passed away 18 months ago.
I know that I will never meet anyone that can hold a candle to my Patrick John.
Aww that's so sweet! I'm so sorry for your loss.
@Simslover92
Thank you for your kind words and yes, I am sorry too.
You're welcome!
m It depends on how fast communication is going to tap in all the topics that will resonate with me. It starts with an intuition, or a sort of unconscious what if/why not that may have always been there, in retrospect, when I look back at ambiguity on my path. Following up that intuition, it's hard to say when I truly fall (and when it's stable), meaning when it has become obvious to me that I need her now, at the expense of everyone and everything else. Usually after a couple of months, several? Along those lines...
I don’t think there is a usual here for me , in my relative maturity I have taken considerably younger than as a young man led by his hormones.
My present relationship was about 5 months before i asked her to be my girl. That’s when i knew for sure we had something. For perspective we seen each other 2- 3 times per week during this period
lol younger = longer
I might start falling for her when I decide to ask her out. Then, if we get along great on our first date and schedule another one, I'm starting to fall for her more. If we become exclusive, have more dates and make out a lot, I'm falling for her more. When we have sex, I'm falling for her deeply.
"Falling" for me means falling into deep infatuation, though, not love. It takes a long time for me to know if I'm actually in love.
It takes a few minutes to get to know someone, one or two dates just isn't enough time to discover a persons nature or their true intentions. I lived with my wife a while before we got married to really get to know her, and her me before we decided if we wanted a lifetime together.
Who works for you (or anyone for that matter) can happen pretty instantaneously. The spark of instant interest at least. Speaking for myself, the actual ‘falling’ part tends to occur when I realize a sense of feeling, “at home/at peace” with them as part of my life. That can occur at any point. Immediate or over the course of time.
m I don't really see it by the number of dates...
it's more about quality time rather than quantity
personally... it's been anywhere between one and three months
With my wife it was the first time I met her. She was wearing a tan jacket and cutoff jean shorts. She had sneakers with holes in them so I could see her toes. She had big brown eyes and the prettiest smile I ever saw.
I didn't have a chance.
There isn't a really good answer to this. For example in my situation, it took almost dying to realize what I had. It wasn't a specific number of dates.
I used to fall quickly in the past but after ghosting and no consistency in talks/chat. I have learnt my lesson.
I prefer talkative, loyal to me, consistent, honest, straightforward, open minded girl in my life.
Probably around the second date.. I like people too easily sometimes.. I am trying to pull away from that now. Since most guys suck ass.
It's hard for me to fall in love cause I have some really bad trust issues. Plus I also believe love should be earned never given
I believe it should be as well, but it doesn't take long for me to fall if I feel like you're putting in a lot of effort and so far he has. I just hope he keeps it up.
Dont fall in love it's way to early you've only been on two dates. The sad thing for you is all relationships start out good so that's why it's important to you to not fall so fast cause if you do you'll always get hurt
He's already said that he cares about me and thinks about me so I think I can start going in that direction. Not love but just caring about him and liking him a lot.
No you can't it's still way to early
I know but I'm just saying I can start feeling things for him now that I know the feeling is mutual
If I was you I would yet. I've learned a long time ago people say a lot of things they don't mean to get what they want. Time is the only way to truly know
That's true. I'll be cautious. Thanks
Your welcome but he does seem to be into you
Yeah he does. But I'm still going to tread lightly.
I have no set speed, the higher the compatibility the faster it happens.
What the heck is a hopeless romantic?
Do you fall for someone if they show a little interest in you? Doesn't that mean you have insecurity problems?
From the net-
"Hopeless Romantics are NOT Hopeless per-say, but very true, caring, and loving people. They are "NOT MADE FOR TODAYS STANDARDS", sadly. They believe in passion, chivalry, and true love. They have loved sincerely at one point in their life, discovered what love feels like, and can't understand why it was not returned in the same form. Hopeless Romantics are usually dreamers, idealists, and sincere, however what they expect in any relationship is a full return for their effort and caring, to be loved as much as they loved. What makes them "Hopeless" is the fact that they are few and far between in todays daily life, and usually get let down in the long run, even though they gave all they had to give, money, love, time, housing, belongings. Hopeless Romantics give 100% ALL the time, and hope for the same in return."
I don't fall easily for people but when I find someone I really like, I fall hard.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have insecurity issues but it can.
I think you're thinking of anxious attachment style which is not necessarily a hopeless romantic.
No I wasn't thinking that
Then no hopeless romantics don't all have insecurity issues or fall for someone if they show a little interest in you. That's just a desperate person.
I thought hopeless romantics were desperate hence the hopeless part 😂
No we're just dreamers. Idealistic of what love should be or can be for us. That doesn't make us desperate. Just not really pragmatic when it comes to love.
So basically lovelorn. You give everything and your partner doesn't give a 💩
It sounds desperate to me. 😂
Not necessarily. But let's just agree to disagree.
Are you going to continue to be a hopeless romantic? 🤣
I know I'm not desperate so yes.
So you're going to continue to give your all to partners that don't give you anything in return? See that's why there's no change.
Nope on the contrary I am not doing that this time around. I have given this guy hardly anything and he's already saying he cares about me. We've only been on 2 dates. I'm not making the same ol mistake. I've learned my lesson with my last relationship. I'm hopeful that things go somewhere but I'm not putting my all into it when it's only been 2 dates.
That's good. Stay strong 💪🏻
The physical connection and chemistry and the physical attraction make you fall in love prematurely. It takes a while to understand people. But the full deeply in love with someone takes time
Everybody is not the same and this is something that would vary from person to person!
I may like you immediately or not but to fall in love it takes time for me.
I have no idea, it take me quite a lot of time and only happened one time
It’s is usually before the first date if it’s someone I know in person.
Depends on the person and the background I'm in
By the third date I will have decided if she is worth my effort or not.
Okay, if it's someone I didn't have feelings for in the first place it can take a long while.
By the third date I am just deciding if I want to make it a relationship or not.
If I like a girl, it's usually at first sight.
You don't need a date to fall for someone.
You don't but it's usually the way people get to know a person and fall for someone.
Never. I may really like I woman but I'll never like her so much I lose control of my feelings. NEVER!
First date 🌹 I'm a luster
It takes me a while
You already fell for him on the first date stop lying
Dear secret being kanst du make zinger date du kompt asivi moi?
When I trip going up the stairs...
It depends. It's rather soon. Though
After I ejaculate in their mouth
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