Should I be upset that my male crush has a high body count?

[Anonymous]

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Should I be upset or worried that he has a high body count. Wether he’s my crush, date, or partner?

Does it mean He’ll be a future cheater? And give me STDS.

[DizzyDesii]

Its not anything to get upset over. The thought of someone just giving themselves to so many people makes me more so uncomfortable rather than upset. I’d start to think they see sex as a hobby or sport rather than something more meaningful. Even if he had sex with all girlfriends, I’d still wonder why so many. I feel like i learned after my first bad experience where I was young, naive, in love and overall not ready but pressured and taken advantage of. Anyways, it taught me to cherish sex even more than before (although i still find unmarried sex incredibly overrated). I personally didn’t want more than 1 sex partner in life but certainly won’t allow myself to surpass 3 sex partners in life, despite having dated way more than 3 men. Not everyone even gets a kiss so why should they all get sex 🤷‍♀️ As for worrying about STD’s, thats why its best to get tested before having sex with someone new. Relying on condoms or their word is not good enough in my opinion. As for them being a future cheater, no. My first and second sex partner were virgins who thought they were the shit after finally losing their virginity (one to me). The one who cheated just as much as a person with a high body count, had only one sexual partner before he took advantage of me. Taking away someones innocence had become a game for him. The other emotionally cheated by looking for his next hit after he lost his virginity to me but freaked out that I might’ve been pregnant. Its okay, I had his replacement on deck before we were even official but I still gave my all trying to fix us before finally calling it quits. (Part of it was because I loved him and we had been together so long, and waiting til marriage was his idea. But we had failed after a year and a half of waiting and I didn’t want to think about having to start over giving myself to a 3rd person). Anyone of any count can cheat, but i do think people with a higher body count don’t take sex/reproduction as serious. To each their own, but thats my opinion on the matter

[LazerBean]

I think whether or not you should be upset depends on what your body count is and what his body count is.

[Asker]

My body count is 2. 2 boyfriends.
But his is about 56 girls per year. Because of how attractive and masculine he is. 🥺

I feel inadequate and left out, and some of his girls look like Barbie. I’m not much to look at.

[LazerBean]

Gross, I wouldn't touch him with a 30 foot pole.

[Finchie40]

It could definitely raise some questions of concern and yes definitely a higher risk of catching an STD and chances of them remaining loyal to you is a much slimmer chance but only depending on their experiences with past relationships , if they are the type that were in committed relationships then that isn’t as bad as they were just having sex with random people , So , How do you know about his body count? Did he straight out tell you? Or was it hear say? Does he have a bad reputation of getting around? Those things all play a factor but again most people lie about how many people they slept with anyways , when they meet someone new and interesting to them , the truth usually comes out after you fully invested your heart into them , leaving you dumbfounded like a shot in the dark , so it’s always best to task a lot of questions about their views on committed relationships and what are their moral beliefs in a committed relationship , but all that really matters is the chemistry and connection you have with them, sadly it is always a 50/50 chance on whether they are telling you the truth or just trying to get into your pants and what their real intentions are , are they in it for the long haul or short haul? Either way you should always have safe sex with someone if you are completely unsure , if they really like you they will keep coming back for more , sadly I have been tricked by girls as well but it’s the chance we take I guess

[Guy13]

That would end my crush as the pattern of inability to maintain relationship is clearly there

[Rosexøxø]

A high body count just means high sex drive.

He didn’t believe in true love… so…

do you think he sees you as his true love? Or are you a really hot woman he’s like to be mate/sex partners with for the rest of his love and yours?

You either have to love sex just as much, to make it work with a sex lover, or just not deal with that.

The small chance that he will value and prioritize sex altogether more than you, means he could cheat because of that. Sex count doesn’t prove how many girls he dated.

He’s dating you… so he may value you.

If he dated lots of girls and was the one to break up or cheat on them… then he can cheat on you mathematically speaking.

If he dated few but fucked many, he probably sees you as someone more special.

Try not to blame guys for their high sex drives, but talk about it with him, and weigh things because those guys could have just jerked their hands as well.. until they found a decent girl.

I don’t think his past choices show what he values today or even predicts what he will do next. I think you have to hear him speak and observe his actions in recent times, to better understand that.

I think it’s complicated situation, but I’m sure others will give you some better answers. Best to you.

[quaranta]

He won't cheat on you or give you STDs if you select him carefully. You can check his awareness about STDs: did he always use condoms with his hookup girls? If not, well, he doesn't care much about getting STDs and not even to contagiate girls with that. You can check this if the first time you have sex with him you require a condom and he doesn't want to use it. It would mean he did the same with the other girls, and that would be an excuse to ask him about that. Definitely not a good sign and you should request tests before allowing no-condom in that case (I did it).
But this has nothing to do with body-count, he could go for wrong decisions even with just 2-3 exes. Say one of those exes had a partner, who had a partner, who had a partner, with papilloma virus (example), well that takes many years before giving any symptom and you may get it.

About cheating: a cheater is always a cheater so if he cheated on an ex in the past, or if he cheats on his girlfriend for you, then of course he is going to do the same with you when the situation will be "right", with similar circumstances. Also, a cheater is a liar in many other departments, typically.

In conclusion, having a high body count alone doesn't mean anything. Awareness about STDs and past history about cheating speaks a lot more.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I would think that he just wants to make you one more notch if you do get involved.

The biggest issue to me isn't that he'll be a future cheater, give your STDS, it is that someone who has had a lot of partners has a harder time bonding with someone. Feeling that closeness that being intimate can bring.

As he now thinks of sex as a pleasure activity and not intimate and one can't simply change how your mind responds to that.

This is why I always wanted my first to be my husband, there is no greater bond than to be each others first forever. People in my family who were each others first have been married for decades, they are willing to work through problems and don't ever consider divorce as an option when things get tough.

Just be careful and realize he might just want to add another but if it bothers you, then it always will. If it is a concern now, best to move on.

[Miristheiss]

You've made an error.

The error is "SHOULD". There is no "SHOULD". You feel how you naturally feel. If you don't want to get romantic with someone who has already been intimate with lots of people then that is alright. Quit worrying about "should". Be truthful with yourself and go for what you really want and feel how you really feel.

There are 2 worlds.

This post feminism, post birth control pill, traditional relationships and marriage are dead world in which you just have sex with whoever you want and you can sleep with 1 person or 100 and it should all be the same. Get married at 30 or don't at all. Just date your entire life. Your past "shouldn't" matter.

Then there is the sex is for relationships... for love... for marriage world that still value the traditional view of sex and it is for someone you are in love with and committed to and may marry or you even want it to just be for married people.

These 2 worlds are hard to blend. If you If you feel more in line with the 2nd value system a long, experienced past may be hard to accept.

Just be true to yourself and search what you really want and value and act accordingly and ignore anyone telling how you "should" feel. It is not their freaking life.

[SnowedIn]

No you should not be upset. Partly because let the past be the past. Partly because you don't want him (or other partners) judging your body count.

I have zero knowledge whether there's a correlation between body count and future cheating, but I doubt it. Therefore, doesn't matter.

As for STDs -- have him tested.

[Gummy_Cluster]

There's really only one way to know if there's a correlation or not; but you have to put the lime in the coconut and drank 'em bot' up..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ihb6FLSh64

[Asker]

@Gummy_Cluster
What does this have to do with my question

[Gummy_Cluster]

It helps establish the correlation.

[Lliam]

No.
There is a better chance that a guy with a low body count will eventually start wondering what he was missing.

The idea that someone with a high body count will be more likely to cheat is nonsense. They've already experienced different women and realize that one body is little different from another. They may also have enough experience to know that you marry someone for their personality and compatibility and not just for pussy. And they are ready to settle down.

Before having sex with anyone get yourselves both tested for STDs. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Only you can answer that for yourself, and no one should judge you for your choice or the reasons behind it.

It seems in general that women are less concerned about a man's body count than men are about a woman's, but I can only speak to a man's perspective here. When a woman is promiscuous it sends a very strong message to men about her character, self-respect, values and priorities. Like me, most men find women like that very undesirable, and there are very valid reasons behind that.

[Asker]

We find men like this undesirable too. But they tend to be attractive.

The problem is; that a man with high body count. SPELLS;
Immaturity, Cheater, STDS, Baby Moms, On Child Support. Impulsive, Irresponsible.

[Asker]

I don’t know what made you think women aren’t alarmed by this 🖕.
It makes us feel inadequate af. But because there aren’t many BRAD PITTS walking around some of us tolerate it

[LickwidSkie]

I think you answered your own question. It seems maybe you like this guy so much that what you really want is someone to give a valid reason to not feel this way, but the thing is your perspective is rational and holds truth. Sometimes people change as they get older, but sometimes they don't. Are you really convinced enough that he's changed as to take the chance considering the potential consequences?

[Opinion Owner]

Women complain about men having double standards and being unfairly judgmental of promiscuous women, but the reality is that women just have lower standards than men on this issue. Men shouldn't lower their standards to women's level; women should raise their own standards to men's level. Problem solved.

[AdithyaR]

I mean, your feelings are valid, no one can tell you whether you should feel something or not, that's upto you.
Now a high body count doesn't necessarily mean they might cheat, although the STD point is legitimate and you might wanna get that checked out first.
Beyond that it's upto your preference. If you prefer someone with a lower body count you can move on. Although criticising him for a high body count would be unfair since it's his life.

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s not about his body count. It’s about what he does with it. Does he seem selfish and self-centered? Are his approaches about you or about him?
An experienced and GIVING partner has great potential! An experienced and selfish partner offers little. Without context, the sheer numbers mean very little.

[Pegases]

Regardless of gender, a high body count isn't good news. It says the person places so much emphasis on sex, that they will likely leave if sex deosnt fit the naturally high expectation that multiple sex partners inevitably creates for people. Women tend to have higher body counts as a result of unhealed trauma, and men tend to have higher body counts when they're unable to remain faithful. It isn't good news, regardless of what people try to paint it to be these days.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think it would be a little disheartening. Afterall, if he doesn't appear to be ready to settle down at all, you may just be a number in the crowd.

Is that something your really willing to risk. If you're like most women, you may be saying to yourself... but what if I can be the one to change him? If so many other bodies tried and failed, what makes you think you'll be the one to tame him?

[genericname85]

I mean if he's honest about it, then why care? I don't think he'd be honest with this, if he was about to cheat. If you're unsure about STDs, have him tested. It's not expensive. If you still don't know about it, just skip this one and find better.

[Anonymous]

You will probably become one more notch in his belt.

[Mayo503]

No not really have he cheated before…?
But people do change tho…
So this is up to you?
Sorry couldn’t be to helps

[CateM]

As long as he doesn't have any STDs and is willing to use a condom, I don't see why it matters

[bamesjond0069]

It means he has lots of access to women and at least a normal sex drive. Men have little reason not to have sex, most men don't have options, some men do. They will generally sleep around because they can.

[Berethor]

Didn't you girls love bad boys? but yea the ladykiller is likely to cheat and/or have STDs.

[Anonymous]

if he's just your crush, this likely won't go anywhere. crushes are mainly just physical looks anyway

if he was your actual partner, then i'd be worried

[LiamJHayden]

"Does it mean He’ll be a future cheater? And give me STDS."

No. Someone with a high count might very well be faithful while in a relationship.

[LiamJHayden]

It could also matter as to the pattern. A lot of people have a wild youth and then calm down after university or even earlier. If he's had, say, 100 partners, and 98 of them were five or more years ago that is different than if he had 100 and started two years ago, for example.

[Guardian45]

First of all what do you consider high body count. Secondly, what does body count have to do with cheating or STIs? The two are not necessarily related.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

That would dissuade me from trying to woo her.

[JamesRandiDebates]

His high body count is why you have a crush on him to begin with.

[robocop666]

well sex workers live a life of this and are fine

[Anonymous]

What is a high body count? I’ve had sex with 80-90 women.

[LemiaOfThunder]

why does it worry you?

[Anonymous]

Yes.